honeypig

JANUARY 16

This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.

DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
I would lie in bed at night and say the alphabet, counting all the things I had to be grateful for, starting with the letter A . . . This made a great change in my life.
​--Heard in a meeting

DAILY REFLECTION:
We live several lives in one lifetime.

Waking up from a terrifying dream, we first sigh with deep relief, "Thank God it was just a dream." After we have made a big mistake in real life we long for the chance to undo it. We do not get to undo those moments, but life is still full of second chances . . . and third and fourth chances. The big question is, do we learn from our experiences?

In some ways, we live several lives in one lifetime and we have several phases in one relationship. Today is a new day, and it presents all the possibilities of a new beginning. We have learned from the past. As painful and difficult as our experiences were, we can feel stronger today because we have learned from them. Injustice and fateful accidents can befall anyone. Yet many difficult times never need to be repeated. Today we can be grateful for another day with all the new opportunities it brings.

Name one way you are different today because of what you have learned from your experience.

Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope

honeypig

JANUARY 17

This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.

DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
My feelings are neither right nor wrong but are important by virtue of being mine.”
--Heard in a meeting

DAILY REFLECTION:
Acceptance Frees Us

Acceptance frees us.
Conflict can result from trying to change a person or situation that we don't like. And conflict causes stress and agitation, both of which limit our lives. They steal our ability to be open to opportunities for growth and change.

Why is it so hard to accept situations we don't like? Twelve Step programs tell us it's because of our ego. We feel diminished when others don't agree with our plan or our opinion. Our self-worth is tied to other people's reactions.

But we can change. We can let the success stories we hear in this program inspire us to let others be. We will discover how much better we feel when we're not on the battlefield with our friends and loved ones.

I don't have to have conflict with other people today. I can let others be themselves and do what feels right to them. I'll feel more at ease too.

Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope



(When did you last think about narwhales? Probably about the same time I did...)

honeypig

JANUARY 17

This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.

DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Whatever you want in life, start today. Not tomorrow - today. Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning. Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

DAILY REFLECTION:
So May We
… so may we when life turns hard find in love our stay and guard.
… so may we this happy morn honor every child that’s born.
… so may we our gifts bestow, whether we be high or low.
… So may we, with heart that sings, share the truth this season brings.
- Once in Royal David’s City

The lyric “… so may we when life turns hard find in love our stay and guard” captures, for me, the fellowship of our program. I am sustained by the love of my fellow Al-Anon members. In our closing, we say “you will come to love us in a very special way, the same way we already love you.” It is that selfless, unconditional love that I get and I give that provides me the strength and courage to be honest and open with you all. It is that love that supports me in healing. It is that love that keeps me coming back. “So may we, with heart that sings, share the truth this season brings.” In Al-Anon, we can continue to share the truth, and to sing in our hearts all year round.

Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope

honeypig

JANUARY 17

This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.

DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
To the people who love you, you are beautiful already. This is not because they’re blind to your shortcomings but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran

DAILY REFLECTION:
Listen

If it is language that makes us human, one half of language is to listen.

In this program, I have learned to listen. In most meetings, I cannot interrupt, comment, or respond immediately or directly to another person’s share. I can only sit and listen. I can only take in what they are saying. I can only connect it to my thoughts and understandings.

As an Al-Anon friend, and most particularly as a sponsor, I have learned to listen without judgement. I have learned to still my desire to find a solution, to fix a friend’s problems. I know that I most often am not looking for a solution, but for a loving ear. I want someone who will hear me, who will understand me, who will empathize with me. Someone who can say “Yes, you are human. Yes, you have erred. Yes, you are loved. Yes, I hear you.” I am learning to give back what I most yearn for.

It is a gift to be listened to, and it is a wonderful gift to listen.

Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope

honeypig

And this is one of the things that used to greatly frustrate me about Alanon meetings when I first started going! What use could it possibly be to just sit and listen? I had things I wanted--needed--to SAY!! About MY situation, about how you should handle YOUR situation!

And yes, I had not thought about it until this reading today, but it most certainly is a gift to learn to listen, and Alanon can go a long way towards teaching me that (and yes, it is certainly something I need to learn...).

FireSprite

This is a wonderful quote & apparently something I need to pay close attention to right now. Our company website has inspirational quotes that pop up randomly to read while it is calculating/producing reports/etc. The first one I received today was:

"The greatest gift you can give to someone is the purity of your attention." (it is credited to Richard Moss & Anon when I search it out online so, )


I truly believe that half of our miscommunications could be sidestepped if we all became better active listeners. We miss a lot when another person is trying to express something & all we can focus on is our internal dialogue & emotions.

Even strictly in the business sense - half of my job is gently stepping into conversations & pointing out miscommunications I hear between my boss & clients & try to back the train up to clarify it on all sides before we end up with different expectations & understanding.

FireSprite

Oh, I get this too..... I think of this phenomena like a shaken 2-liter of soda. Once that top comes off, there's little hope of stopping the flow.

I think we reach that point in recovery too - just after the shock & awe of all the early recovery AHA moments blinding & flashing we get comfortable in our Acceptance & Awareness. Once *I* started talking, I finally had a LOT to say & I was ready to be heard.

(followed by a shame spiral where I couldn't believe I'd "put it all out there like that".... and physically FELT the vulnerability. Heck, even posting here anonymously sometimes triggered that feeling - but those were also the times when I was onto something significant in terms of my own recovery. I started sharing when I had examined something so thoroughly that I could no longer see it from any other POV & needed to open up & let in the opinions of others. It's hard to brace yourself for tough love, even while you know you NEED it. )

honeypig

I think you put a lot more thought into your communications than many of us do, FS--far more than I do, I know that! This is a really interesting thing you mention; I'll be turning that over in my mind for a while.

honeypig

JANUARY 20

This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.

DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Just smiling goes a long way toward making you feel better about life. And when you feel better about life, your life is better.
- Art Linkletter

DAILY REFLECTION:
God Is Here

God Is Here

The Power, which restores us to sanity, is not something remote and abstract, which we must search for by reading books and performing great feats. Our Higher Power is with us constantly and is involved in the minute details of every day. We do not have to wait and work to become acceptable to God. God accepts us now, just as we are.

What gets in the way of our awareness of God is self. If we are narrowly focused on the concerns of ego and self-will, we ignore the presence of a Higher Power. Then we become weak and confused in our aloneness.

To be aware of the presence of God in our lives every day, all we need is the willingness to be open. We find that God is indeed "closer than breathing and nearer than hands and feet." What we may have spent years searching for or denying turns out to be the ground of our existence and the Power that sustains us every minute.

Increase my awareness of You, I pray.

Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope

honeypig

JANUARY 21

This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.

DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Today relaxing with my imperfection and enjoying my own business are enough for me. For this I am grateful.
- Heard in a meeting

DAILY REFLECTION:

Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.
--Emily Dickinson

We often hum and sing to ourselves because it makes us feel content. It is the melody itself that makes us feel good - words and thoughts do not matter.

Having hope for ourselves and for our universe is like having a melody always moving inside us. The melody may be calm or exciting, but most of all it brings with it beauty and a sense of peace. Hope can overcome the need for words and thoughts and promises. Hope is the melody that keeps us going, the hum that continues even when there are no words to the song. Hope is not a melody we think about - it must come when we believe in the goodness of our world.

If we have faith in a power greater than ourselves, we will be able to find the melody of hope inside us at all times.

Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope

honeypig

JANUARY 22

This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.

DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
If you think handling everything is too much, try letting go.
- Heard in a meeting

DAILY REFLECTION:

Stubbornness
Sometimes I choose to be stubborn even when I know that it doesn't serve me well.

It may be that someone I have had issues with in the past asks me to do something, and I feel myself refusing based solely on resentments.

Or it may be a task that I have completed "my way" for many years and when someone tries to show me a different way, or maybe a better way, I choose to dig in and refuse to change.

When I catch myself being stubborn I must stop and ask myself, "Why?"

Being stubborn usually stems from my own "ego" issues.

It does not serve me well to walk through life with a closed mind, sure in my ways, sure that anyone around me who does things differently can't possibly be right.

If I choose to behave in a stubborn manner, I choose not to walk my true spiritual path.

Dear God, help me to have an open mind. Help me to see all sides of an issue and to always be willing to try something new.

Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope

Kboys

Love the picture
The epitome of stubbornness

honeypig

JANUARY 23

This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.

DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them.
- don Miguel Ruiz

DAILY REFLECTION:

Presence

I have finally found a place to live just like I never could before.
And I know I don’t have much to give, but soon I’ll open any door.
Everybody knows the secret, everybody knows the score.
I have finally found a place to live in the presence of the Lord.
--Eric Clapton, "In the Presence of the Lord"

Step 12 says, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps …” This is the only promise in the Steps. But what a promise it is! For some, this awakening was sudden and dramatic. For me, it was gradual and almost unnoticed, until in working Step 12, I was forced to look back. Then I saw how my life had changed, how my relationships with others had changed, and most dramatically, how my understanding of and connection with a power greater than myself had grown and flowered. I know that I am in the presence of my higher power whenever I walk into a meeting. The feeling of serenity, peace, and connectedness that I get comes directly from God.

Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope

honeypig

JANUARY 24

This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.

DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
In Al-Anon I discover in myself the power to throw new light on a seemingly hopeless situation. I learn I must us this power, not to change the alcoholic, over whom I am powerless, but to overcome my own distorted ideas and attitudes.*
- Heard in a meeting

DAILY REFLECTION:

Don't take storms personally.

Somewhere out in the Pacific, a storm brewed and swirled and thrashed and died without ever touching the land. Three days, later, under a clear blue sky, the storm surge reached the California coast near Los Angeles. The sea threw rocks at my house, and the waves stacked up and crashed down against the pilings of the foundation. Farther up the street, the ocean ate the back porch of two houses. All night the shoreline trembled and shook from the power of the sea.

The next morning the tide pulled back, the swells calmed, and the sky stayed blue. I walked down the beach, impressed at the way the ocean had littered it with huge chunks of driftwood and rocks. Then I walked back upstairs and drank my morning coffee.

Sometimes storms aren't about us.

Sometimes friends or loved ones will attack us for no apparent reason. They'll fuss, fume, and snap at us. When we ask them why, they'll say, "Oh I'm sorry. I had a bad day at work." But we still feel hurt and upset.

Hold people accountable for their behavior. Don't let people treat you badly. But don't take the storms in their lives personally. These storms may have nothing to do with you.

Seek shelter if necessary. Get away from hurt friends until they have time to calm down; then approach when it's safe. If the storm isn't about you, there's nothing you need to do. Would you try to stop the ocean waves by standing in the surf with your arms outstretched?

God, help me not to take the storms in the lives of my friends and loved ones too personally.

Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope

honeypig

JANUARY 25

This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.

DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
- Melody Beattie*

DAILY REFLECTION:

Let It Go

To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.
Mary Oliver, "In Blackwater Woods"

I sometimes need to be reminded that being alive means that things change. That the people, places, and things I love will not be in my life forever. Their mortality should not keep me from loving them. I must love them all the more, “knowing [my] own life depends on it.” And when their time is at an end, I must “let it go.”

This is so hard. So hard. So painful. But it is essential, for to never change, to never leave, to never die, is not to live. For only in living can we find joy. Only in living can we find freedom. Only in living can we find love. Let us live well, let us love well, and let us “let it go” well.

Amen, and Blessed Be.

Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope

honeypig

JANUARY 26

This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.

DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Changed attitudes do aid recovery.
- Heard in a meeting.*

DAILY REFLECTION:

Hope
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune–without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I’ve heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.
- Emily Dickinson, "Hope"

After I accepted my powerlessness over my loved one’s alcoholism, I had to find a new meaning for hope. I could no longer say “I hope for sobriety”, because that would set up an expectation. I had no way of assuring that expectation would be met, and so I would again find myself descending into the pit of despair. What hope came to mean for me, in those days, was that there was a possibility of change, not an expectation of change. This hope helped to sustain me. It “perched in my soul” and “sang the tune … sweetest in the gale”.

Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope

honeypig

JANUARY 27

This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.

DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
We cannot learn from one another until we stop shouting at one another - until we speak quietly enough so that our words can be heard as well as our voices.
- Richard M. Nixon

DAILY REFLECTION:

Happiness Is a Decision
We came into this program desperate for help and perhaps solace too. We were more painful than most. Seeing all the smiles and hearing the laughter of the women and men at the meetings convinced us we were right! Fortunately, we have stuck around long enough to understand where their smiles and laughter are coming from.

The Twelve Steps are suggestions for living one day at a time. When we let the Steps guide our thinking and our actions, we discover that life doesn't have to be painful. Thinking and acting are fully in our control. Staying close to the program can bring us happiness.

I will set a good example for someone else today. I will be living proof of the maxim "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope

honeypig

JANUARY 28

This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.

DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day, saying, "I will try again tomorrow."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

DAILY REFLECTION:

The Power of Love

Love is the best motivation. When we are plugged in to our Higher Power, we are plugged in to love. It flows through us like a current, energizing our sluggish hearts and minds.

As we work the Steps of this program, we are given increased ability to love. By turning over our lives and our wills, we become receptive to the love which surrounds and sustains us. By taking inventory and being ready to have our character defects removed, we are able to get rid of old ways of thinking and acting which have been blocking out love.

We cannot produce love for others by ourselves, but we can receive it from our Higher Power. We can even receive love for people we don't particularly like.

Love gives energy for action and directs its course. May I grow in love

Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope

FireSprite

I had to back up to yesterday for a minute - this is something that I have been noticing in myself - the pause, the reflective moment, the conscious decision to still CHOOSE to be happy in a way that isn't denying the events happening or hiding from them.

So, maybe I'm justifiably upset with RAH over something but it's not anything I can do something about right now..... Right Now, I'm playing a game with DD so I can choose to be happy in *this* moment without diminishing or negating my righteous anger.

I don't have to keep stoking the fire of my anger to remind myself of it - am I really going to FORGET? lol.... that only burns me & keeps me from enjoying everything else happening while I choose to hold onto that moment.


Thanks again for these honeypig, the pictures you find to match each day are outstanding!

honeypig

This is such a true statement for me too, FS, and such an accurate description of what it's like!

I love finding the pictures for each day. Seriously, I find myself looking forward to it around noon of the day before!!