"Today's Hope"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 10
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
- Frederick Koenig
DAILY REFLECTION:
All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it.
- Samuel Butler
If we take time to watch animals, we see that they have a zest for life that seems to engage them totally in whatever they are doing. A cat chasing its tail, a dog going after a ball, a horse running along the shore, a dolphin leaping and diving - all are actions that reveal energy and delight in simply being alive.
Life, we say, is to be enjoyed, but how many of us manage to put this theory into practice? We often associate pleasure with guilt or with acting out or with hurting or being hurt, and so we stand back from the full enjoyment of our power to be really alive.
Letting go of our shame and feelings of unworthiness will help us to let go and live. If we can tap into the spontaneity that runs through the animal kingdom, we will rediscover the sheer joy of being alive.
I'll take time to watch animals at play and learn from their vitality and enjoyment.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
(I recommend watching the video full screen so you can see in detail just how much Willie Pig the Basset Hound relishes his delightful mud bath!)
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
- Frederick Koenig
DAILY REFLECTION:
All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it.
- Samuel Butler
If we take time to watch animals, we see that they have a zest for life that seems to engage them totally in whatever they are doing. A cat chasing its tail, a dog going after a ball, a horse running along the shore, a dolphin leaping and diving - all are actions that reveal energy and delight in simply being alive.
Life, we say, is to be enjoyed, but how many of us manage to put this theory into practice? We often associate pleasure with guilt or with acting out or with hurting or being hurt, and so we stand back from the full enjoyment of our power to be really alive.
Letting go of our shame and feelings of unworthiness will help us to let go and live. If we can tap into the spontaneity that runs through the animal kingdom, we will rediscover the sheer joy of being alive.
I'll take time to watch animals at play and learn from their vitality and enjoyment.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
(I recommend watching the video full screen so you can see in detail just how much Willie Pig the Basset Hound relishes his delightful mud bath!)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 11
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.
- George Jean Nathan
DAILY REFLECTION:
Compassion for Self
If you make friends with yourself, you will never be alone.
- Maxwell Maltz
Sometimes, when I am struggling with uncomfortable feelings, I am apt to turn my focus outward and fixate on others rather than accepting my own reality. At times like this, I often find myself afraid to be without others there to distract me from my own discomfort, and I justify this behavior by saying that I feel lonely.
Now I can realize that when I try to avoid being alone, it is because of my fear of my own feelings and lack of self-acceptance. Often I am my own worst critic and am the first to reject my emotional needs in times of pain or sadness. I reach out to my Higher Power, in these times, and pray for the strength and willingness to be gentle with myself and treat myself as I would treat any friend – with courtesy, respect, and compassion. When I do this, with the love of my Higher Power, I realize that I can be alone and not lonely.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.
- George Jean Nathan
DAILY REFLECTION:
Compassion for Self
If you make friends with yourself, you will never be alone.
- Maxwell Maltz
Sometimes, when I am struggling with uncomfortable feelings, I am apt to turn my focus outward and fixate on others rather than accepting my own reality. At times like this, I often find myself afraid to be without others there to distract me from my own discomfort, and I justify this behavior by saying that I feel lonely.
Now I can realize that when I try to avoid being alone, it is because of my fear of my own feelings and lack of self-acceptance. Often I am my own worst critic and am the first to reject my emotional needs in times of pain or sadness. I reach out to my Higher Power, in these times, and pray for the strength and willingness to be gentle with myself and treat myself as I would treat any friend – with courtesy, respect, and compassion. When I do this, with the love of my Higher Power, I realize that I can be alone and not lonely.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 12
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop.
- Confucius
DAILY REFLECTION:
Progress, not Perfection
I am always amazed at how forgiving I am when someone else makes a mistake, yet I can spend hours, days, weeks, months, years, beating myself up for the smallest infraction.
I am always quick to remind the people I care about, when they have a particularly trying moment or find themselves once again dealing with an ugly character flaw, an unhealthy behavior, or a negative attitude that it is progress, not perfection, we seek.
We all have our bad days where we act out, say things that we regret, or become defensive in regards to our own poor behavior.
It is important to acknowledge it, work towards not repeating it, and then let the shame of the slip go.
It is better if I make note of the positives that come out of my digression:
Maybe I am repeating the mistake less over the course of time...
Maybe I'm humble enough to apologize for my behavior instead of rationalizing or denying my actions...
Maybe I am able to share my experience with another who is struggling with the same issue and therefore, benefit their spiritual growth as well as my own.
Today I choose to focus on progress over perfection, apologize for my short-comings, and strive each moment to be my best-self.
Dear God, help me to remember that no person is perfect and that there are many life lessons to learn each day.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop.
- Confucius
DAILY REFLECTION:
Progress, not Perfection
I am always amazed at how forgiving I am when someone else makes a mistake, yet I can spend hours, days, weeks, months, years, beating myself up for the smallest infraction.
I am always quick to remind the people I care about, when they have a particularly trying moment or find themselves once again dealing with an ugly character flaw, an unhealthy behavior, or a negative attitude that it is progress, not perfection, we seek.
We all have our bad days where we act out, say things that we regret, or become defensive in regards to our own poor behavior.
It is important to acknowledge it, work towards not repeating it, and then let the shame of the slip go.
It is better if I make note of the positives that come out of my digression:
Maybe I am repeating the mistake less over the course of time...
Maybe I'm humble enough to apologize for my behavior instead of rationalizing or denying my actions...
Maybe I am able to share my experience with another who is struggling with the same issue and therefore, benefit their spiritual growth as well as my own.
Today I choose to focus on progress over perfection, apologize for my short-comings, and strive each moment to be my best-self.
Dear God, help me to remember that no person is perfect and that there are many life lessons to learn each day.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 13
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
It is of the small joys and little pleasures that the greatest of our days are built.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
DAILY REFLECTION:
Teach me, my God and King,
In all things thee to see,
And what I do in anything,
To do it as for thee.
--George Herbert
Some of us have gone through life unconsciously expecting others to bring us happiness, to make our dreams come true, and to make us feel good about ourselves. When nothing seems to be going well for us, we blame it on the lack of external support - we're not in a serious relationship, we don't like our job, we don't have the money to venture into our own business.
When we change our perspective - when we know and trust that we are responsible for our happiness, our dreams, and our feelings - we become empowered. No longer is the burden on someone or something that is either unreliable or nonexistent. We'd been giving this power to others; now it's time to take it back, to make and be responsible for our own choices, to value our opinions, and to respect our intellect.
Today I will give myself credit for all I am capable of, financially and otherwise.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
It is of the small joys and little pleasures that the greatest of our days are built.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
DAILY REFLECTION:
Teach me, my God and King,
In all things thee to see,
And what I do in anything,
To do it as for thee.
--George Herbert
Some of us have gone through life unconsciously expecting others to bring us happiness, to make our dreams come true, and to make us feel good about ourselves. When nothing seems to be going well for us, we blame it on the lack of external support - we're not in a serious relationship, we don't like our job, we don't have the money to venture into our own business.
When we change our perspective - when we know and trust that we are responsible for our happiness, our dreams, and our feelings - we become empowered. No longer is the burden on someone or something that is either unreliable or nonexistent. We'd been giving this power to others; now it's time to take it back, to make and be responsible for our own choices, to value our opinions, and to respect our intellect.
Today I will give myself credit for all I am capable of, financially and otherwise.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 14
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Some people grumble because the roses have thorns instead of being grateful that the thorns have roses.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Character
Character is doing the right thing when no one else is watching.
- J. C. Watts
Spirituality speaks to character.What kind of people are we? What is it that we want to do with our lives? How do we come across to other people? Hypocrisy is the enemy of true religion. It is most definitely the enemy of spirituality and the molding of a healthy character. Jesus indicated that spirituality involves bringing our lives into the light where things can be seen. Can we dance in the dark? Yes, but dangerously! It is much better to see where we are going. It is much better for our partners to see where they are going. Spiritual character is attracted to the light.
I am dancing in the light.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Some people grumble because the roses have thorns instead of being grateful that the thorns have roses.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Character
Character is doing the right thing when no one else is watching.
- J. C. Watts
Spirituality speaks to character.What kind of people are we? What is it that we want to do with our lives? How do we come across to other people? Hypocrisy is the enemy of true religion. It is most definitely the enemy of spirituality and the molding of a healthy character. Jesus indicated that spirituality involves bringing our lives into the light where things can be seen. Can we dance in the dark? Yes, but dangerously! It is much better to see where we are going. It is much better for our partners to see where they are going. Spiritual character is attracted to the light.
I am dancing in the light.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 15
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Improve what you can and accept all the rest of life just as it comes. Know that fear is your worst enemy - perhaps your only enemy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
DAILY REFLECTION:
For all the sadness of closure, there is a new and joyful unfolding in the process of becoming.
- Mary Casey
We must let go of people, places, memories, and move on to new experiences. The doors of the past must be closed before we can enter those that are opening to us today. However, no experience is gone forever. All of our experiences are threaded together, each one contributing to the events that claim our attention now.
Recovery has offered us a chance to be aware of our process of becoming. With each day, each experience, each new understanding, we are advancing along the path of personal growth. Let us remember that each of us has a particular path, like no other. Thus our experiences are ours alone. We need not envy what comes to someone else.
Life is unfolding for us. The pain of the present may be necessary for the pleasure of tomorrow. We can accept the unfolding. Our inner selves have a goal; experiences of the past must be left in the past; experiences at hand will lead us to our destination today.
I am moving and changing and growing, at the right pace. The process can be trusted. What is right for me will come to me. I will let the joy of becoming warm me.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Improve what you can and accept all the rest of life just as it comes. Know that fear is your worst enemy - perhaps your only enemy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
DAILY REFLECTION:
For all the sadness of closure, there is a new and joyful unfolding in the process of becoming.
- Mary Casey
We must let go of people, places, memories, and move on to new experiences. The doors of the past must be closed before we can enter those that are opening to us today. However, no experience is gone forever. All of our experiences are threaded together, each one contributing to the events that claim our attention now.
Recovery has offered us a chance to be aware of our process of becoming. With each day, each experience, each new understanding, we are advancing along the path of personal growth. Let us remember that each of us has a particular path, like no other. Thus our experiences are ours alone. We need not envy what comes to someone else.
Life is unfolding for us. The pain of the present may be necessary for the pleasure of tomorrow. We can accept the unfolding. Our inner selves have a goal; experiences of the past must be left in the past; experiences at hand will lead us to our destination today.
I am moving and changing and growing, at the right pace. The process can be trusted. What is right for me will come to me. I will let the joy of becoming warm me.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 16
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The First Step prepares us for a new life, which we can achieve only by letting go of what we cannot control and by undertaking, one day at a time, the monumental task of setting our world in order through a change in our own thinking.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Unto the Least
For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.
…
Truly, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.
Matthew 25:35-40
The discussion of Tradition 2 in How Al-Anon Works says “Newcomers are as likely as longtime members to utter words that inspire and inform.” Tradition 12 reminds us to “place principles above personalities.” In Al-Anon, we are equals. We come together to recover from the effects of another’s addiction on our lives, our psyches, and our souls. When I place some people on a pedestal, worshiping their every word, and overlook others because I think they have nothing to give me, I only cheat myself. When I let go of my preconceptions, my pre-judging, my prejudices, and my reactions to others’ outsides, I free myself to see the beauty and wisdom inherent in each person. In so doing, I give myself a great gift.
My higher power can work through anyone, at any time. When I close myself off from other people, I close myself off from the help that my higher power wants to give me. I know this to be true, because I have lived on both sides of that wall – in silence and isolation, and in community and support. Which do you choose?
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The First Step prepares us for a new life, which we can achieve only by letting go of what we cannot control and by undertaking, one day at a time, the monumental task of setting our world in order through a change in our own thinking.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Unto the Least
For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.
…
Truly, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.
Matthew 25:35-40
The discussion of Tradition 2 in How Al-Anon Works says “Newcomers are as likely as longtime members to utter words that inspire and inform.” Tradition 12 reminds us to “place principles above personalities.” In Al-Anon, we are equals. We come together to recover from the effects of another’s addiction on our lives, our psyches, and our souls. When I place some people on a pedestal, worshiping their every word, and overlook others because I think they have nothing to give me, I only cheat myself. When I let go of my preconceptions, my pre-judging, my prejudices, and my reactions to others’ outsides, I free myself to see the beauty and wisdom inherent in each person. In so doing, I give myself a great gift.
My higher power can work through anyone, at any time. When I close myself off from other people, I close myself off from the help that my higher power wants to give me. I know this to be true, because I have lived on both sides of that wall – in silence and isolation, and in community and support. Which do you choose?
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 17
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
What a different world this would be if people would magnify their blessings the way they do their troubles.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Attitudes and Limitations
What we consider our greatest strengths can also be our greatest weaknesses.
Excessive pride in "being able to handle everything," for example, may result in our taking on other people's responsibilities. In "taking over," we often lessen another's desire to meet his or her own obligations.
A boastful "I'll do it myself!" attitude can also mask a desperate feeling of inadequacy. Having a constant drive to prove our worth to others, we may trample on or ignore the needs of those around us who are just as eager to exhibit their competency and worth.
What are some other examples of virtues becoming vices?
Determination to excess becomes obstinacy and stubbornness. Honesty when misdirected is synonymous with gossip and slander. Sympathy and concern overdone can cripple and smother.
Today I will make a list of ten of my strengths and weaknesses. How has acting on each of these virtues and vices created joy or sorrow in my life? I will be aware that my strengths can be my worst enemies if I abuse them.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
What a different world this would be if people would magnify their blessings the way they do their troubles.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Attitudes and Limitations
What we consider our greatest strengths can also be our greatest weaknesses.
Excessive pride in "being able to handle everything," for example, may result in our taking on other people's responsibilities. In "taking over," we often lessen another's desire to meet his or her own obligations.
A boastful "I'll do it myself!" attitude can also mask a desperate feeling of inadequacy. Having a constant drive to prove our worth to others, we may trample on or ignore the needs of those around us who are just as eager to exhibit their competency and worth.
What are some other examples of virtues becoming vices?
Determination to excess becomes obstinacy and stubbornness. Honesty when misdirected is synonymous with gossip and slander. Sympathy and concern overdone can cripple and smother.
Today I will make a list of ten of my strengths and weaknesses. How has acting on each of these virtues and vices created joy or sorrow in my life? I will be aware that my strengths can be my worst enemies if I abuse them.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Excessive pride in "being able to handle everything," for example, may result in our taking on other people's responsibilities. In "taking over," we often lessen another's desire to meet his or her own obligations.
A boastful "I'll do it myself!" attitude can also mask a desperate feeling of inadequacy. Having a constant drive to prove our worth to others, we may trample on or ignore the needs of those around us who are just as eager to exhibit their competency and worth.
A boastful "I'll do it myself!" attitude can also mask a desperate feeling of inadequacy. Having a constant drive to prove our worth to others, we may trample on or ignore the needs of those around us who are just as eager to exhibit their competency and worth.
What I find alarming is how, when I find myself in these places now, I have gotten there by a completely unconscious route--I didn't see at all that I was heading down that road. I guess that's my next step, learning how to detect the less-obvious course deviations!
Well, we fix the big chunks first and then sort out the smaller stuff once there's more room to work and better light to see, right?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 18
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
If I forget my focus, I may fail to achieve my primary spiritual aim.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Grief
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
This past week for me has brought extremely tragic and sudden news. In the past, I would have simply allowed myself to be devoured by my pain. I would have isolated myself and decided that no one could possibly understand my sadness – that I and I alone have ever felt something so devastating. Now, I can honestly say that I have spent time over the last week deeply grieving this development in my life but I have not suffered. Rather than wallowing in misery, I reached out to others and expressed my fears and sadness.
I am thankful that my Higher Power has been with me through every moment and, though, I have felt profound pain, I have also realized an incredible joy and appreciation for the love and support that my friends, family, and partner have offered me in this time of need. Though I am sad, I am able to say that this week has still been a good week for me.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
If I forget my focus, I may fail to achieve my primary spiritual aim.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Grief
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
This past week for me has brought extremely tragic and sudden news. In the past, I would have simply allowed myself to be devoured by my pain. I would have isolated myself and decided that no one could possibly understand my sadness – that I and I alone have ever felt something so devastating. Now, I can honestly say that I have spent time over the last week deeply grieving this development in my life but I have not suffered. Rather than wallowing in misery, I reached out to others and expressed my fears and sadness.
I am thankful that my Higher Power has been with me through every moment and, though, I have felt profound pain, I have also realized an incredible joy and appreciation for the love and support that my friends, family, and partner have offered me in this time of need. Though I am sad, I am able to say that this week has still been a good week for me.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 19
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Every optimist moves along with progress and hastens it, while every pessimist would keep the world at a standstill.
- Helen Keller
DAILY REFLECTION:
Joy and Expectations
Last night I spent time with an old friend, someone very dear to my heart. Yet there was a time when I was so attached to the idea of what I expected of our friendship that I couldn't even enjoy my time with him. I projected an idea of what I thought it "should" be and I held to it; what I wanted, what I believed was needed, my rules and my way.
Tonight, with no expectations, no projections, I found great joy in his company once again. We laughed. We caught up on each other's lives. And I was reminded how much joy the friendship had brought to me before I started placing so much emphasis on how I thought it "should be."
What do I know about "should?"
Preconceived notions regarding what life "should" be only leave me unable to grow and see the limitless possibilities of having an open mind. Maybe it is time I took a step away from what I believe life "should" be and let my Higher Power take the lead for a while.
Dear God, help me to let go of what I believe life should be... and live life as it is... one day at a time... with an open mind and an open heart.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Every optimist moves along with progress and hastens it, while every pessimist would keep the world at a standstill.
- Helen Keller
DAILY REFLECTION:
Joy and Expectations
Last night I spent time with an old friend, someone very dear to my heart. Yet there was a time when I was so attached to the idea of what I expected of our friendship that I couldn't even enjoy my time with him. I projected an idea of what I thought it "should" be and I held to it; what I wanted, what I believed was needed, my rules and my way.
Tonight, with no expectations, no projections, I found great joy in his company once again. We laughed. We caught up on each other's lives. And I was reminded how much joy the friendship had brought to me before I started placing so much emphasis on how I thought it "should be."
What do I know about "should?"
Preconceived notions regarding what life "should" be only leave me unable to grow and see the limitless possibilities of having an open mind. Maybe it is time I took a step away from what I believe life "should" be and let my Higher Power take the lead for a while.
Dear God, help me to let go of what I believe life should be... and live life as it is... one day at a time... with an open mind and an open heart.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 20
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The path to happiness is forgiveness of everyone and gratitude for everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
DAILY REFLECTION:
Rose Soup
An idealist is one who, on noticing a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes it will also make better soup.
- H. L. Mencken
Frequently I have a picture in my head of how something should be or how some event should go. When my image does not match reality, I am usually projecting some ideal vision of my life onto the real world. Naturally they don’t match. I have learned to check my expectations against what really is, to try to stay centered in the here and now. While things may not look as rosy that way, I am also less likely to be disappointed than when I hold unrealistic, idealized expectations.
Roses don’t make good soup. My life is more serene when I can enjoy roses for what they are, and cabbage for what it is.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The path to happiness is forgiveness of everyone and gratitude for everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
DAILY REFLECTION:
Rose Soup
An idealist is one who, on noticing a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes it will also make better soup.
- H. L. Mencken
Frequently I have a picture in my head of how something should be or how some event should go. When my image does not match reality, I am usually projecting some ideal vision of my life onto the real world. Naturally they don’t match. I have learned to check my expectations against what really is, to try to stay centered in the here and now. While things may not look as rosy that way, I am also less likely to be disappointed than when I hold unrealistic, idealized expectations.
Roses don’t make good soup. My life is more serene when I can enjoy roses for what they are, and cabbage for what it is.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 21
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
You can't change yesterday, but you can ruin today by worrying about tomorrow.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
"It was the hardest 2 years of my life," a woman said. "So many painful, unexpected events happened. I felt so abandoned, so lost. I didn't understand what was happening, and I felt tortured by God and life. I didn't think it would ever end. But it did. Now I can look back on that time and say, Wow. Look at all I learned. There's nothing that life can bring my way that I can't handle and get through."
She learned self-confidence. But whether she's conscious of it or not, this woman is beginning to learn the value of trusting the process.
Sometimes we don't know what we're learning, or whether we're learning anything at all. It's easy to look back on a situation once it has worked itself out and be in awe of the process and all that we learned.
The time we most need to trust the journey is when it looks like we can't.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
You can't change yesterday, but you can ruin today by worrying about tomorrow.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
"It was the hardest 2 years of my life," a woman said. "So many painful, unexpected events happened. I felt so abandoned, so lost. I didn't understand what was happening, and I felt tortured by God and life. I didn't think it would ever end. But it did. Now I can look back on that time and say, Wow. Look at all I learned. There's nothing that life can bring my way that I can't handle and get through."
She learned self-confidence. But whether she's conscious of it or not, this woman is beginning to learn the value of trusting the process.
Sometimes we don't know what we're learning, or whether we're learning anything at all. It's easy to look back on a situation once it has worked itself out and be in awe of the process and all that we learned.
The time we most need to trust the journey is when it looks like we can't.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 22
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Today I choose the higher road - the path of charity, acceptance, love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
DAILY REFLECTION:
Principles
Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am beginning to understand what principles mean in my life. I am learning to live by a code of ethics I do not always like but know is good for me and others. Although I do not always fully understand the spiritual principles of life, I know my ongoing recovery should be based upon them. Some of the spiritual principles by which I try to live are Honesty, Truth, Openness, Forgiveness, Acceptance, Humility, and Hope. I experience personal satisfaction knowing I live with principles that work. I am beginning to feel what I always thought other people had. Today I am alive in my life.
May Your principles be my lifestyle.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Today I choose the higher road - the path of charity, acceptance, love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
DAILY REFLECTION:
Principles
Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am beginning to understand what principles mean in my life. I am learning to live by a code of ethics I do not always like but know is good for me and others. Although I do not always fully understand the spiritual principles of life, I know my ongoing recovery should be based upon them. Some of the spiritual principles by which I try to live are Honesty, Truth, Openness, Forgiveness, Acceptance, Humility, and Hope. I experience personal satisfaction knowing I live with principles that work. I am beginning to feel what I always thought other people had. Today I am alive in my life.
May Your principles be my lifestyle.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 23
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Nothing is so wretched or foolish as to anticipate misfortunes. What madness is it to be expecting evil before it comes.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
DAILY REFLECTION:
How Much Love
It is not how much we do but how much love we put into the doing. *
- Mother Teresa
Last year, I made a commitment to myself that I would mean "thank you" when I said it. This is quite different for me from saying "thank you" when I mean it. I used to say “thanks” without much thought or intention. I came to realize that in so doing, I robbed it of any meaning. Now, when I get off the bus and thank the driver, I also focus for a moment on a feeling of gratitude for having been transported to my destination. When I thank a server in a restaurant, I remind myself to be thankful that I have been served. I hope that my gratitude comes through to the other person and that it might lift their day a little. Regardless, *it lifts my spirit, and keeps me living honestly and with integrity.
To me, meaning "thank you" when I say it is an example of what Mother Teresa is telling us to do when she says, “it is how much love we put into the doing.”
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Nothing is so wretched or foolish as to anticipate misfortunes. What madness is it to be expecting evil before it comes.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
DAILY REFLECTION:
How Much Love
It is not how much we do but how much love we put into the doing. *
- Mother Teresa
Last year, I made a commitment to myself that I would mean "thank you" when I said it. This is quite different for me from saying "thank you" when I mean it. I used to say “thanks” without much thought or intention. I came to realize that in so doing, I robbed it of any meaning. Now, when I get off the bus and thank the driver, I also focus for a moment on a feeling of gratitude for having been transported to my destination. When I thank a server in a restaurant, I remind myself to be thankful that I have been served. I hope that my gratitude comes through to the other person and that it might lift their day a little. Regardless, *it lifts my spirit, and keeps me living honestly and with integrity.
To me, meaning "thank you" when I say it is an example of what Mother Teresa is telling us to do when she says, “it is how much love we put into the doing.”
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 24
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Pain is something that comes and goes, suffering is something we hold on to.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
One Day at a Time
My best friend was going through some tough situations in her life. I was in the midst of a hard stretch too. We didn't particularly like the things we had to do in our lives. We talked about our feelings and decided that what we were going through was necessary and important, even though we didn't like it. We expressed gratitude for our lives.
"It's still a dreadful time," I said.
"Brutal," she said. "I guess we're back to the old one-day-at-a-time approach. We're so lucky. What do people do that haven't learned that gem?"
There are times when we can look at the stretch ahead and like what we see. Taking life one day at a time is still a good idea, even when things are going well.
Taking life one day at a time can be particularly useful when the road ahead looks dreadful. We may not even know where to start with some challenges. That's when taking life one day at a time is essential.
"I've been using alcohol and other drugs every day since I've been twelve years old," I said to my counselor years ago in treatment. "Now you're telling me I need to stay sober the rest of my life. Plus get a job. And a life. How am I going to do that?"
"One day at a time," she said. She was right. Sometimes I had to take life one minute at a time or one hour at a time. And all these years later, it still works.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Pain is something that comes and goes, suffering is something we hold on to.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
One Day at a Time
My best friend was going through some tough situations in her life. I was in the midst of a hard stretch too. We didn't particularly like the things we had to do in our lives. We talked about our feelings and decided that what we were going through was necessary and important, even though we didn't like it. We expressed gratitude for our lives.
"It's still a dreadful time," I said.
"Brutal," she said. "I guess we're back to the old one-day-at-a-time approach. We're so lucky. What do people do that haven't learned that gem?"
There are times when we can look at the stretch ahead and like what we see. Taking life one day at a time is still a good idea, even when things are going well.
Taking life one day at a time can be particularly useful when the road ahead looks dreadful. We may not even know where to start with some challenges. That's when taking life one day at a time is essential.
"I've been using alcohol and other drugs every day since I've been twelve years old," I said to my counselor years ago in treatment. "Now you're telling me I need to stay sober the rest of my life. Plus get a job. And a life. How am I going to do that?"
"One day at a time," she said. She was right. Sometimes I had to take life one minute at a time or one hour at a time. And all these years later, it still works.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 25
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
We must learn from the mistakes of others because we won't live long enough to make them all ourselves.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Progress
He allowed himself to be swayed by his conviction that human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.
― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
This quote reminds me that I am not, at any given moment, “done” growing as a person. Every day I make mistakes. Every day I learn something new. And every moment I am a different person than I was a moment before. Life is about progress, not perfection, for me. It’s not about becoming “complete”, but rather becoming better all the time. In the past, I saw life as something that I just needed to grit my teeth and get through. Today, in recovery, I see every second as a gift and opportunity to get closer to my Higher Power and to myself. When I do that, everything else just falls into place.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
We must learn from the mistakes of others because we won't live long enough to make them all ourselves.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Progress
He allowed himself to be swayed by his conviction that human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.
― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
This quote reminds me that I am not, at any given moment, “done” growing as a person. Every day I make mistakes. Every day I learn something new. And every moment I am a different person than I was a moment before. Life is about progress, not perfection, for me. It’s not about becoming “complete”, but rather becoming better all the time. In the past, I saw life as something that I just needed to grit my teeth and get through. Today, in recovery, I see every second as a gift and opportunity to get closer to my Higher Power and to myself. When I do that, everything else just falls into place.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
May 26
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Wisdom is the fruit of working the Al-Anon program.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Coming Into the Light
Do not dwell in darkness like a night bird
Prey for the monsters of your imagination.
Get up and seek the light, look towards the sun.
– Rumi
Recently I got some devastating news and I found myself immediately slipping into what one of my friends fondly dubbed “catastrophizing.” I imagined the worst scenarios that could come from this. Fear crippled me. My immediate reaction to this, then, was to go to the complete opposite end of the spectrum and utterly ignore my feelings. This did not serve me either. Instead I found myself bitter and angry. Now I am trying out the grey area between catastrophizing and denying reality. I am honoring my feelings and accepting them for what they are in the moment rather than rejecting them or speculating about the future. I accept that I feel sad and scared but choose not to let that affect my serenity.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Wisdom is the fruit of working the Al-Anon program.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Coming Into the Light
Do not dwell in darkness like a night bird
Prey for the monsters of your imagination.
Get up and seek the light, look towards the sun.
– Rumi
Recently I got some devastating news and I found myself immediately slipping into what one of my friends fondly dubbed “catastrophizing.” I imagined the worst scenarios that could come from this. Fear crippled me. My immediate reaction to this, then, was to go to the complete opposite end of the spectrum and utterly ignore my feelings. This did not serve me either. Instead I found myself bitter and angry. Now I am trying out the grey area between catastrophizing and denying reality. I am honoring my feelings and accepting them for what they are in the moment rather than rejecting them or speculating about the future. I accept that I feel sad and scared but choose not to let that affect my serenity.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
