2 years
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 97
2 years
Years ago my world was rocked when I discovered that my "sober for a year and a half" husband had secretly relapsed in a spectacular way. It was definitely the lowest point in our lives.
My husband decided to go to a month of Inpatient treatment and following we both attended individual, group, and couples therapy. He did 90 AA meetings in 90 days once he came home, and he still attends 3 mornings a week.
2 years ago I said, we can't go back to the way things were, but we will create a new life that is even better. Although 2 years ago I desperately wanted that to be true, I didn't really know how it could be possible. But now, 2 years later, it has really happened! He is in recovery, my codependency is mostly in check, he is a way better dad and husband, and our marriage is stronger than ever. Last spring, when his young mom died unexpectedly, I worried for his recovery, but he handled things like a champ. It is not a cakewalk for him, at all-I know it takes him conscious dedication each day to stay present, avoid temptation and make good choices, and without him available to "work on" anymore, I have had to redirect my efforts into "working on" myself instead-also not easy, but doable when I take it one week, one day at a time.
I know things could have turned out much differently and still could, but I have gratitude every day that we both are using the tools we have learned to make good lives for ourselves and for our family.
I would never encourage blind hope to anyone, but if you are looking for Hope, know that if everyone WANTS to change and puts in the hard work, each day, it can be done!
My husband decided to go to a month of Inpatient treatment and following we both attended individual, group, and couples therapy. He did 90 AA meetings in 90 days once he came home, and he still attends 3 mornings a week.
2 years ago I said, we can't go back to the way things were, but we will create a new life that is even better. Although 2 years ago I desperately wanted that to be true, I didn't really know how it could be possible. But now, 2 years later, it has really happened! He is in recovery, my codependency is mostly in check, he is a way better dad and husband, and our marriage is stronger than ever. Last spring, when his young mom died unexpectedly, I worried for his recovery, but he handled things like a champ. It is not a cakewalk for him, at all-I know it takes him conscious dedication each day to stay present, avoid temptation and make good choices, and without him available to "work on" anymore, I have had to redirect my efforts into "working on" myself instead-also not easy, but doable when I take it one week, one day at a time.
I know things could have turned out much differently and still could, but I have gratitude every day that we both are using the tools we have learned to make good lives for ourselves and for our family.
I would never encourage blind hope to anyone, but if you are looking for Hope, know that if everyone WANTS to change and puts in the hard work, each day, it can be done!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 166
Thanks for this. My husband is in the throes of relapse now, after a few years sobriety and working a program. While I don't know the future and what I will do, it is always good to hear stories of hope. I'm happy for you and your family.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Yup, there are success stories out there, for sure. My first husband has been sober almost 36 years. He had his rough spots in the beginning, but kept at it, and today there couldn't be a nicer guy. We divorced but are still good friends.
Congrats on all the hard work you've been doing for YOU.
Congrats on all the hard work you've been doing for YOU.
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