sauerkraut

Your AH's comment that he would go to AA "if that's what it takes" reminds me of my AH's "offer to quit drinking, if that's what it would take for us to stay together." As if one just quits drinking, like that. [He's been there; done that. Didn't work.]

You do have a lot on your plate. Take care, and thanks for checking in. Big hugs to your mom, too.