Kimmi0087

My husband is a recovering alcoholic for a month and a half now. He went through the 28 day program. His dad is also, and has been for over 35 years.

We get together yesterday with my parents for a 4th of July cookout and it seems, as I was afraid of, his dad and him would start talking about my husbands recovery, AA and all that goes with it. Well, guess what...I am still in my very early stages of recovery myself from all the hurt and don't really feel like hearing this every time we get together. At least not for now. I removed myself from the room, but still felt sad and angry. I mentioned it to my husbands stepmom and she actually picked up on my frustration.

I am on depression/anxiety pills as of last Monday and will be seeing a psychologists here soon to help with my healing. I just don't want this thrown in my face every time we get together.

redatlanta

kimmi0087 - Little confused - do you mean your Dad and your Husband were talking about your husbands recovery?

dandylion

Hi, Kimmi.....I am a little unclear about exactly "what" is being "thrown in your face", and, by whom?

dandylion

FeelingGreat

I get it Kimmi, you're still very upset about your RAH's past and recovery process and you can't stand to hear them talking about it with you around.
Do you think you could mention to RAH how distressed this makes you and ask him not to talk about it while you're around? If he doesn't feel he can do this, you might want to stay away from family gatherings for a while, until you get stronger. Maybe you could let your SMIL know why, so there's no offence taken.

LexieCat

I think it's super important for your husband's recovery to have sober guys like his dad to talk to. I do get why you don't care to get off on that tangent at a family gathering, but it's still very early on, and I'd hesitate to gripe about those conversations. Remember, holidays are often difficult for the newly sober. I'm sure your husband has lots of fond memories of drinking it up with friends at cookouts and fireworks displays. Just getting through the holiday might have been tough for him.

My own suggestion is that you deal with it the same way you would if they got into any other topic you found boring (sports, politics, the stock market, cars) and have a conversation with someone else, like your stepmom. I doubt that every holiday for the rest of your life will be dominated by recovery talk, but right now it's something I suggest working on accepting.

Hugs,

dandylion

Kimmi....Yeah, I like Lexie's idea of treating it like any other boring or unwanted "guy talk",

dandylion

Kimmi0087

Thank you. I appreciate the words of advice. I removed myself from the room and went and did my own thing. My husbands step mom told me it's like a kid with a new toy, they have to show it off and the conversations will be few and far between as time goes by. She has been such a rock for me so far with this.

Thank you again!!!!!