Jaeger

It happened. I knew it was coming. You know how you can feel it? I just didn't expect it to be so bad. I had to leave...I had to get myself and my kids out of there. We have no clothes, no medicine, nothing. I'm so hurt, embarrassed, p*ssed off, basically every emotion all at once. Why does it seem like it's US that has to deal with the consequences?

lillamy

Hey,
I've been where you are and it's an incredibly scary situation to be in.
First of all -- breathe.
As an old poster here used to say: Right now, you are safe. Your kids are safe. That's what counts.

Second -- do you have a place to go? If not, call your local police department. They can connect you with a shelter where you can stay and get things sorted out. Most shelters for women and children have good connections with both pro-bono lawyers and volunteer doctors so that you can get access to the medications you need. (If not, the PD can hook you up with the local ER.)

You will get through this. Right now, you'll be running on adrenaline. We will reassure you, and you will reassure the kids: Everything is going to be OK.

That's what I told my kids the night we left: "I have no idea what is going to happen now, but I know this one thing: We are all going to end up happier and healthier -- including your father."

Keep posting if you need the company tonight. I'll be around for a little while, and I'm sure other people are around as well. And breathe. You can do this.

lillamy

I forgot to say -- the local PD may also be able to go to the house and take your husband into custody (if he's aggressive and drunk, they might lock him up overnight, if you're lucky). That would buy you time to go back to the house, pack up some necessities, and get the medications you need!

Thomas45

Because we are the ones who want to be responsible people.

guava

Just checking in on how you're doing this morning, Jaeger. Iillamy provided excellent suggestions. I hope you are all safe and that you are able to find some good alternatives to your situation. Many (((hugs))) to you.

Jaeger

Thank you all. I am safe and do have a place to go. I did call the police but since he did not answer the door they could not make contact thus did not take him into custody. I've got a lot of decisions to make. I'm struggling with separating my emotions....the whole heart/head conflict. It's so easy to read other stories and think you know all the answers but when you go through it, it's not as easy.

Liveitwell

Just sending you hugs and strength!

Kimmieh

What helped me with the head/heart conflict was to make a conscious effort to remind myself of all the bad. Whenever I started to miss AXBF, I would come here and read old threads to remind myself of how miserable I was. Hugs!!

Jaeger

There's plenty of bad. Mostly all bad lately. I know what I need to do but all I want to do is crawl in bed and stay there.

LexieCat

We might be able to give you more helpful suggestions if we knew exactly WHAT happened. A "blowup" could be anything from a loud argument to murder. So what happened?

lillamy

What helped me make the decision to leave and stay gone was the kids. Me? That's one thing. But when I saw that the kids were suffering from his alcoholism and my inability to keep them safe from it, that's when I knew it didn't matter what I felt, I still had to protect my children.

Jaeger

Lexie,
I sent you a PM. I am hesitant to post too much.

Jaeger

Lilamy,
My kids are definitely hurting. It breaks my heart. I know I should have been gone long before now. Before it got this bad.

ladyscribbler

I felt the same way once I finally left. You guys are safe now. That's the important thing.

LexieCat

Thanks for the info, Jaeger, I sent you a reply.

And good for you about using good sense if you feel posting details isn't safe--your own instincts are often a terrific guide to what is and isn't safe.