LexieCat

I know a few people who were unaware their partners, with whom they lived, were alcoholics. Some are very, very good at hiding their addictions. So I can't blame IHA for not knowing--it's what happens after the knowledge that's important.

KissMyTiara

Lexie perhaps, but I'm sure that would be in the lowest minority. IHA has stated she would frequentlly fall asleep at inappropriate times. To me that is passing out.

And sorry IHA, don't mean to be talking over you.

SeriousKarma

IHA, are you doubting the fact that she drove the bus drunk? I can see being upset if you thought they posted the mug shot and she was innocent, but if you believe that she's guilty then I would suggest you let this go. There's no point for you to dwell on it. She did what she does, and the newspaper did what it does.

You could write to the paper complaining, but I wouldn't suggest that. You would be arguing with one of the great tenets of our constitution for a woman who drove a busload of children while three sheets to the wind.

I'm sorry, hon, but you would be crucified by your community if you did that. Let the mugshot issue go. It's just diverting you from what you need to focus on. You.

Thomas45

Think about how many celebrity arrests get posted in the morning newspapers the very next day. If the celebs can afford multi-million dollar legal teams, and these stories still make the news every day, I'm pretty sure that there's no legal issue here. Mug shots and all.

Let's say 'a few nips' is 3 standard units of alcohol. 1 standard drink for a 120 pound woman equates to about 0.04 BAC. So she woke up with a BAC of 0.12, and drank another 0.12.

Alcohol leaves the body at about 0.01 BAC per 40 minutes, so assuming an 8 hour sleep, she went to bed with a BAC of ~0.24 as well. Of course, this assumes that her BAC level was the same from the time she left the house to the time she crashed the bus. This also assumes that she drank all 3 drinks in a hurry the moment she left the house, with no time elapsing between waking and leaving the house. In actuality, this would all be higher because we don't know how much time elapsed between her leaving and the arrest and BAC reading, and we don't know how long she spent getting ready for her morning routine. Just so you're aware, 0.30 and onward is where the risk of alcohol-induced death starts being a possibility.

Your girlfriend is going to need a serious change of heart, if she's already drinking near to the point of risking her very life when she wakes up in the morning.

jarp

You know what is in 'poor taste'?

The fact that it was only by luck and chance that your GF didn't KILL CHILDREN. It's 'bad taste' that she knowingly, and willingly out her need for 'a few nips' of alcohol above the right of children to be SAFE and to know that the person they entrusted their safety and lives to gave half a cr*p about them.

And you know wha else is in poor taste?

Your disregard of these children and their parents. Your dismissal and superior judgement of addicts JUST LIKE your loved one.

I have to stop reading this thread...as a mum of 3 young kids it's just WAY too upsetting to know not only are kids put at risk in this way, to know the addict doesn't care (to be expected), but to also read that the boyfriend of this CRIMINAL is more concerned with whether the media pictures of his would be killer girlfriend upon her arrest are 'tasteful' or not is just too much.


ETA but one thing...my RAH went to a swanky, expensive rehab. Plenty of criminals there! They also have lived ones prepared to cough up cash to get their loved ones treatment.

biminiblue

I'm surprised there isn't anything online about this case...seems...odd.

totallytrying

These threads have felt like trolling from the start---I know it's not PC to suggest that, but the way the OP does the "I'm just trying to learn more" but then gets shots in at everyone who dares to point out that driving a school bus drunk might just be cause for societal disapproval. Then they back off, but come back later with more shots at those "lower" in society, the "real addicts", etc. I mean, I thought it was real at first and the OP was just in denial, but when you're in denial for 50 posts and still manage to get your insults at those "lower than you" in every time, well...it's getting a bit ridiculous now.

Ileana

Totallytrying- I agree.

jarp

Yes given the OP claims the case has been in the papers, I haven't been able to find anything online, at all. Strange.

ihatealcohol80

I apologize if I offended any one. I am grateful for all the responses and I need to wake up. It is not easy to admit your significant other is an alcoholic. Some of you think that her case should of been national news? She is not the first professional driver to get a dwi. I refuse to let my fiance be judged on one huge mistake. I thank God that no one was injured every day.

Hopeworks

My XA was a professional driver (taxi) and he never killed anyone driving yet. He did get a new girlfriend and he and she both enjoyed drinking heavily and popping Xanax. He has been over .50 three times and almost died. The new girlfriend sugar mama wasn't so lucky and she overdosed and died a couple of months ago.

Poor guy! Lost his happy home and everybody got mad because he kept sliding her credit cards after she was buried.

Poor A's can't catch a break. ( and no I am NOT making this up) this was the love of my life????

He called me last week asking for money as he was in the hospital with kidney failure. I said no...
Alcoholism... It's progressive.

Sotiredofitall

That was no doubt NOT the first time she drove drunk. Its only the FIRST time she got caught. With her level of drinking and denial its more probable that she has been driving kids drunk for a long time.

CarryThatWeight

You refuse to let your fiance be judged based on one huge mistake? And how exactly are you going to refuse to let that happen? You have no power over people, or the judgments they make. It seemed like you were reaching some level of acceptance, but in your last few posts it seems like you're back to denial. I don't see any concern for the children or their parents. All these posters have tried to tell you the seriousness of the crime and her disease, and all you can do is cry that you refuse to let her be judged? Her actions speak FAR louder than her words, I'm afraid. We are what we are, and people who do what she did... are alcoholics, and criminals.

jjj111

Drunk school bus drivers do make news. Google it and you can find several stories, but no one with a .24 recently. I am a researcher by trade and so am pretty good at turning up stuff like this, but I don't see anything. Seems to me that the OP is in a pattern: when the possibility that he is a troll comes up, he first endears himself by apologizing and then quickly gets people riled up again by making another outrageous statement of denial. Just saying...

jjj111

There was a case in 1988 of a man with a BAC of .24 hitting a school bus and killing 27 people. It might be useful for the OP to contemplate, if he's actually for real. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrol..._bus_collision

ihatealcohol80

I have purposely left out where we live. I figured some folks here would try to get all the dirt. I assume a few would be delighted seeing her mug shot. I'm done sharing any info about the case. I regret sharing the amount I did. Lex, thank you for your legal insights.

happybeingme

IHA, first I want to say how sorry I am that some people have been searching for the story of your fiancee crime. It is truly in poor taste. My concern in all of this is her level of drinking which based on what you have shared is edging toward deadly. The other thing is do you both accept that she has an addiction to alcohol? Do you both accept that the only cure for it is permanent abstinence?

You have mentioned before that you always imagined an alcoholic to be a bum living under an overpass. You do realize how wrong this is? Some of the most brilliant and creative minds have been plagued with addiction. Such as Stephen King, Ernest Hemingway, Buzz Aldrin, Amy Winehouse. Do a quick search and you will find your fiancee is in good company.

Please take care, educate yourself, and be ready for a lifetime commitment to her permanent abstinence from alcohol.

LexieCat

I don't think it's a matter of prurient interest from folks here dying to see a mugshot and a juicy story--we all have our horror stories and wouldn't be all that impressed by it. It's a matter of trying to check out whether people on this forum are being played for laughs or entertainment.

I, too, find it difficult to believe that with every podunk publication in the country available online that nothing about it has hit the Internet. You could change all the details you want to but there simply isn't anything that remotely resembles this incident ANYWHERE online. I research for a living, too.

There are quite a few inconsistencies here (as someone who also looks for inconsistencies for a living) and things that simply do not add up in any real-life way. I'm happy to share my ESH, but I've had enough of being "played" in my life.

iGirl66

The fact that some of the most brilliant minds have been alcoholics is an anomaly of statistics, not anything for a some drunken bus driver to use to make herself feel better about her crime and irresponsibility not that this one feels bad. Ask the families of those famous brilliant train wrecks what it was like. Amy Winehouse drank herself to death! Talented? Yes. Stupid, more so.

The more I read the more I am convinced that this is a very clever troll spoon feeding a bunch of malarkey. It is not in poor taste to research a supposed crime that is allegedly all over the news. If it's this public and high profile then no anonymity is broken. Trolls count on you to just swallow their story hook, line and sinker without looking into it if possible or calling bs. Well, I looked like others too. My original background is in museum education and I can trace a flea back to the rat it came over on the Mayflower with. This story is nowhere to be found and the op's reluctance is not based on wanting to protect the bus driver from Hell from further scrutiny, It's about keeping us all giving him "encouragement" that he doesn't need.

Well played sir or madam!

redatlanta

I have gotten a couple pings of "troll" throughout the thread. Specifically when stated she had a BAC .24 and that she is not looking at jail time. Unfortunately she is not the first to have done this, and the precedent shows she is looking at some serious jail time regardless of her BAC, but that .24 is serious. That is but one of several red flags.

I'm not sure if the events have been so distorted and this is a "real" person or not. What I do know is this person seems to be very uninterested in advice regarding fiance's alcoholism/addiction, and VERY interested in free legal advice.