Please pray for me tonight
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by searching peace 
I used to go and drive to the hospital and park under a light near the ER. It was safe and I could fall asleep sometimes.
Hang in there, the nightmare is almost over..just stay aware and safe.
I really think like SearchingPeace and Amy that you should try to get a a bit of sleep and your car would be safer. Even if he is passed out, he might still wake up.
Tomorrow will be a big day.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
Originally Posted by amy55
OK, so didn't actually get that apt? Might still be a maybe?
Please, can I suggest again the DV shelter. I went to one. It was really nice. I could have stayed there for up to 90 days.
Please, can I suggest again the DV shelter. I went to one. It was really nice. I could have stayed there for up to 90 days.
I did ask the hotline lady about the shelter. She said to call them back if things escalate, and then they decide whether I can go to shelter or not.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Originally Posted by healthyagain
No, but when he dares me to hit him, I am absolutely positive he would smack me back. I just know it.
Since bullying wasnt working, he kept trying to play on my sympathies. His last ditch efforts were transparent to me... finally. Its just a waiting game, I played that game better than he did. He could say or do anything he liked to me, it wouldn't have changed the fact that the moving truck was on its way. So I waited with that knowledge, that it would soon be over.
I had no friends or family to help. I was on my own. It was probably one of the most frightening times of my life, but that last night showed me how strong I was. How detached I could be if I had to. How quietly I remained steadfast in not letting that man control me with his anger ever again. Sure, I was scared, but I got through it. I can tell you right now that if he displayed any anger towards me that night I would have called the police.
Keep calm, be alert and keep that phone handy. Leave if you are too frightened. Call 911 or the dv hotline, they are 24 hours for a reason.
Praying for you tonight.
L
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Ok, what # did you call? 1-800-799-SAFE? When I called that number and told them what was going on, they gave me the phone number for the local DV shelter.
I talked to them there. I didnt go that night, or that week. I called them after he grabbed me by the neck, leaving marks on me, and threw me to the floor. They remembered talking to me. That's when they asked if I was ok to drive, or should they send the police.
When I got there, they told me that I don't have to have a physical altercation with him, just if I was afraid, I could call them anytime, and I could stay there.
I think sometimes, we call around for help with resources, that we don't realize that we can call DV at any time, and they will have room for you.
I talked to them there. I didnt go that night, or that week. I called them after he grabbed me by the neck, leaving marks on me, and threw me to the floor. They remembered talking to me. That's when they asked if I was ok to drive, or should they send the police.
When I got there, they told me that I don't have to have a physical altercation with him, just if I was afraid, I could call them anytime, and I could stay there.
I think sometimes, we call around for help with resources, that we don't realize that we can call DV at any time, and they will have room for you.
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First I chatted with an agent from the national DV agency. And the agent gave me some local resources. So this morning, I called the local DV hotline (our town) and told the story, an alcoholic husband very emotionally and verbally abusive, never hit me, but I want to divorce and move out and am afraid of things escalating.
They told me that if things get worse, to call them and they will send someone to estimate the situation and to see if it is for shelter. And the person told me to call on a working day to talk more to someone because they have a lot of resources, including lawyers and housing.
They told me that if things get worse, to call them and they will send someone to estimate the situation and to see if it is for shelter. And the person told me to call on a working day to talk more to someone because they have a lot of resources, including lawyers and housing.
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OK, they will not say that they will send someone over to assess the situation. That would be putting you in too much danger. Perhaps some miscommunication. DV really doesn't do house calls. I can imagine how afraid you might be of that. I would be also.
Do you think you can try to call them again, and tell them how he is escalating, and that you want to get out, but you are afraid to leave, because you don't have the money to do this? I am also asking you not to downplay the fear that you have.
Do you think you can try to call them again, and tell them how he is escalating, and that you want to get out, but you are afraid to leave, because you don't have the money to do this? I am also asking you not to downplay the fear that you have.
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I do not know amy, I am almost 100% sure I heard that. Perhaps maybe because I did say I will have a place on my own.
I just cannot call again right now, do not know why, really don't.
Maybe because it is silent, do not want to make the waves. Had enough of the b word for a lifetime.
I just cannot call again right now, do not know why, really don't.
Maybe because it is silent, do not want to make the waves. Had enough of the b word for a lifetime.
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Ok, I asked them and this time they told me that I have a bag of documents and clothes ready, go to friends or neighbors, then call the same number, and they get me to the shelter.
I told them he never hit me, but that he bangs around, crashes stuff, throws food, cusses a lot.
I told them he never hit me, but that he bangs around, crashes stuff, throws food, cusses a lot.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
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Do you think you can do this? Even if you don't have a neighbor of friend, they only want to make sure that you get away from the house without being followed. You call them, they will then give you additional directions. I went through this. Its procedure.
amy
amy
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OK, when you get to the shelter, they will do an intake. This is the time that you can tell them everything you have been through. Don't hold anything back. Everything you say is confidential, and they won't be arresting him, just keeping you safe. They will show you around the place. They will show you the room. They will tell you about the rules there. Mostly lock down time. For me it meant I couldn't go out after 11pm to have a cigarette. The people there cook meals for the others there. It's on a rotation schedule. If you work, they work that in also. You may not have to cook then. If you have other questions about this, I may be able to answer them so that you are more at ease.
really just (((((((((hugs))))))))), I do know how frightened you are, and what a big step this is for you. I'll be here for you.
amy
really just (((((((((hugs))))))))), I do know how frightened you are, and what a big step this is for you. I'll be here for you.
amy
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
OK. Can you get any bags that you want to take, and any documents, into the car? Just to be prepared. Keep your phone on you at all times.
If you need to leave, get away as quick as possible, after you are clear from there, then call DV # again. Then wait for additional directions from them.
Just really remember I care about you. I want you to be ok. I was you. I know what it feels like.
((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
amy
If you need to leave, get away as quick as possible, after you are clear from there, then call DV # again. Then wait for additional directions from them.
Just really remember I care about you. I want you to be ok. I was you. I know what it feels like.
((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
amy
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