Things a "normie" wouldn't know.... Part 4

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Old 02-13-2015, 06:27 PM
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Things a "normie" wouldn't know.... Part 4

This is the continuation of:

Things a "normie" wouldn't know.... Part 3

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-3-a.html

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Old 02-13-2015, 07:36 PM
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Normies don't have to call their spouses before coming home, just to see if they are drunk / angry / sad, so they can be mentally prepared for what the night has in store.

Normies don't usually get anxiety when they pull into their own driveway.

Normies aren't scared to talk to their spouses about their feelings.

Normies don't wish their dry husbands would just drink again already so we could just get this BS*** over with and get divorced
Good Grief!
I remember going through all of that a year ago. BTW, If you don't want to be married to someone anymore, you don't have to wait until they fall off the wagon to justify leaving. You don't have to answer to anyone but yourself. This one took me a while, but I am forever grateful that it finally sunk in.
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Old 02-13-2015, 09:06 PM
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We have a water jug that sits in our fridge, right next to it us my mom's box of wine. I can be UPSTAIRS and tell what mother is drinking based on the sound of the liquid coming out of either the water jug or wine box. Normies wouldn't know that.

Nomies also don't keep track of the days that things are good with the boyfriend on a calendar. Even though he's sober, I can predict the times things are good or that we are about to go into the silent treatment.
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Old 02-13-2015, 09:14 PM
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And the number one thing that I know normies don't understand is that even if you aren't an alcoholic, once you love an alcoholic, you never want to drink either. It's the very last thing you want to do!
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Old 02-13-2015, 09:24 PM
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God aint that the truth!!!!! 987g
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Old 02-13-2015, 09:44 PM
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wow. I have many times thought about this thread without knowing it existed. haha!! like, "what would a normal person freaking think right now!!!"

Normies only have to "sleep light" when they have a new born and need to wake up suddenly. Not when they have a drunk partner passed out on the living room floor again about to choke on his vomit which is every single month.

Normies don't have to worry about whether their partner will remember the talk they had about relationship issues

Normies don't have to worry about their partner throwing them under the bus in front of friends and strangers at random from the mood swings of alcoholism

Normies don't have to worry about the insanity of a drunk cheating partner who a.) doesn't remember therefore it didn't happen despite being caught b.) doesn't call it cheating by some weird technicality c.) responds with, stop trying to control my life. haha!!!

Normies don't abhor holidays and social functions. Normies don't feel anxiety about the night going smoothly once they get home with their spouse.

Normies dont understand the gut wrenching sadness and difficulty in loving the real person and hating the alcoholic.

Normies after a breakup can cook themselves dinner without randomly having a panic attack in the middle of it because they are wondering if their ex is laying face down dead in a ditch somewhere

Normies don't have to "make their peace" with the breakup b/c the person may die anytime and that may have been the last thing they said/did with them. Normies are so lucky!!!!

And Normies don't have to worry about their partner feeling like the victim when they are actually the culprit.

Normies don't cringe every single time a server comes to the table and asks that dreaded question, " Can I get you guys something to drink?" ahhhhh.

Normies don't feel the deep depression and sadness every time they pass by a bar or restaurant with people visibly drunk and drinking.
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Old 02-14-2015, 06:33 AM
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OMG BIRD13!!! The "stop trying to control my life!" line!!! I got so sick of that! It was my xabf's mantra. His ex wife was controlling, his ex girlfriends were allllll jealous and controlling, his mom was controlling! I told him one day "say what you will, but NO woman in your life has EVER had control over you or screwed up your life like booze and pills have! Yeah, I got you thrown in jail? Nope! Your DWI did that! You're in a freakin cage! Tell the Sherriff to stop controlling your life and see the response!
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Old 02-14-2015, 06:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Duckygirl1 View Post
Tell the Sherriff to stop controlling your life and see the response!
Oh, man! That one has me LITERALLY LOL.
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Old 02-14-2015, 10:51 AM
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Hahahaha. For real, I guess that line only makes sense to them when they talk to us, everyone else does not apply.
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Old 04-08-2015, 01:40 PM
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Just finished reading this entire thread (all 4 parts!) I'm equally scared/appalled and comforted by how many resonate with me ...

A normie wouldn't wait weeks to discuss family/financial/emotional issues with AH because by the time the kids are asleep, he's either tanked or so annoyed at waiting so long for a drink, it will end in a stupid fight or drunken rant.

A normie doesn't know that shift in their eyes and the sneer that switches over in the blink of an eye ... and know it's time to leave the room if you still can to avoid the accusations and insults you know are now coming.

A normie isn't afraid to state how they are feeling or any type of frustration to their sometimes "R"AH because they are just adding to "his stress" and now it's your fault that he feels the need to drink.

A normie wouldn't hesitate to download an app to track her AF to avoid the surprises she keeps getting every month (after years of back-to-back pregnancies, breastfeeding and an IUD) because when/if AH sees it, he will accuse her of cheating because he got snipped over a year ago.
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Old 08-18-2015, 05:47 AM
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I've been reading all 4 of these threads and so wish I had had my eyes opened like this 40 years ago.

I feel like the biggest fool in the world.
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Old 08-18-2015, 12:21 PM
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A normie wouldn't understand why I want to isolate when feeling lonely.

A normie wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone they don't trust or respect.

A normie knows the difference between love and need.
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Old 08-18-2015, 12:39 PM
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A normie wouldn't accept 10 years of promises that "it won't happen again".
A normie doesn't worry late at night when her husband gets home and hope he's happy drunk and not mean drunk.
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Old 02-06-2016, 06:43 PM
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Normies don't search their wife's bag for a phone number - any phone number - that they don't recognise.

Normies don't search their wife's bag for a phone number - any phone number - that they DO recognise.

Normies don't search their wife's makeup bag only to find a phone number hidden at the bottom.

Normies don't mark the cider bottle in the fridge to see if it has gone down any before the kids get up for school.

Normies don't hide pain killers in their computer desk rather than the medicine cupboard.

Normies don't take an inventory EVERY NIGHT of every pill in the house.

Normies don't cry at 3.30am as they clean up **** from their kids bedroom carpet while their wife lies naked on the floor.

Normies don't go to the toilet to find their wife snoring on the toilet seat with her pjamma bottoms around her ankles.

Normies don't have to work out how many differnt ways there are to turn a mattress when it's covered in ****.

Normies don't have to worry how to pay the rent, when the rent money is cooling in the fridge.

Normies don't have conversations with their wife as if she is a simple child - everything you say goes round and round in circles.

Normies don't shout out to their wife that it's time for bed - only to find your wife isn't even in the house and doesn't show up for a further 4 days.

Normies don't keep their wife of 12 years at arms length in bed for wondering who she slept with last.

Normies don't stand at the checkout while their wife cries, pleads and begs for more alcohol - despite alcohol being the ONLY thing in the trolley.

Normies wouldn't understand that despite all of the above I still love my wife unconditionally.
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Old 02-08-2016, 08:56 AM
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(((George)))

Normies don't feel so much inner turmoil walking away from a horrible, abusive, demeaning, far too lengthy and unfufilling relationship with an addict.

Normies don't get to feel reborn once the denial of their codependency wears off, and they start doing something to change it.

Normies don't have to do so much work so they can look forward to a bright new future once they've decided to make a change.
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Old 02-08-2016, 09:24 AM
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^ Firebolt-great words and SOOO true.
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Old 02-08-2016, 09:32 AM
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Normies do not know how lucky they are.

Normies do not even know they are normies.

Normies do not speak Al-Anon language.

Normies sometimes ask you stupid questions and give suggestions that may make your blood boil.

There are times when I want to say, "Blessed are the ignorant."
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Old 02-08-2016, 10:00 AM
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Normies sometimes ask you stupid questions and give suggestions that may make your blood boil.

LOL! Normies say things like, "If that was my s.o./husband/child, I would just stick them in rehab, quit giving them money, threaten to leave, tell them I'm not going to put up with their drinking anymore and then they'd get sober."
Normies have it all figured out, don't they?
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Old 02-08-2016, 10:24 AM
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Normies don't get all excited because their partner goes a night with out drinking.

Normies aren't able to spot an alcoholic when they are explaining why they just couldn't be one:
I've never had a dui, I have never never woken up to bruises and not known from where they came, I drink coors light, for crying out loud. Say's the woman accused by here ex, while trying to pick up on my AH
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Old 02-08-2016, 10:33 AM
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Originally Posted by ladyscribbler View Post
Normies sometimes ask you stupid questions and give suggestions that may make your blood boil.

LOL! Normies say things like, "If that was my s.o./husband/child, I would just stick them in rehab, quit giving them money, threaten to leave, tell them I'm not going to put up with their drinking anymore and then they'd get sober."
Normies have it all figured out, don't they?
You forgot, "Why don't you spill his drink?"

And I'm like, " you normie smarta$$, you . . ."

Has anyone seen that Batman and Robin pic, when Batman slaps Robin across the face? It was on facebook, and has several versions "when someone tells you . . ."

Now that is how I feel.
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