Things a "normie" wouldn't know.... Part 4
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
Posts: 816
Being a normie is at the top of my to do list........
Normies don't wonder if they are going bat **** crazy because of
the gas lighting and convoluted, lying, memory loss thinking of AH.....
Normies don't develop self loathing for tolerating above behavior
in addition to drunken stupor.
Normies don't wonder if they are going bat **** crazy because of
the gas lighting and convoluted, lying, memory loss thinking of AH.....
Normies don't develop self loathing for tolerating above behavior
in addition to drunken stupor.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
His mom- "Make him get a job, then he would have someplace to go and he wouldn't have all day to sit around drinking."
My mom- "If that was my son, I'd stick him in rehab."
His wife- "I don't allow alcohol in the house, so I've never had any problems with him drinking." (This was before he magically learned to moderate with 1 or 2 beers a month).
Although I'm not sure any of them actually qualify as "normies." More like the trifecta of unrecovering codependency. Like the 3 Musketeers with guilt and shame and blame for weapons instead of swords and daggers.
Normies wouldn't be counting the minutes until their Alanon meeting tomorrow.
My mom- "If that was my son, I'd stick him in rehab."
His wife- "I don't allow alcohol in the house, so I've never had any problems with him drinking." (This was before he magically learned to moderate with 1 or 2 beers a month).
Although I'm not sure any of them actually qualify as "normies." More like the trifecta of unrecovering codependency. Like the 3 Musketeers with guilt and shame and blame for weapons instead of swords and daggers.
Normies wouldn't be counting the minutes until their Alanon meeting tomorrow.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 222
Normies don't wake up at 4 am to sneak around the outside of their own house to peer into the window of the home office to see if their AH is working at the computer, drinking or watching porn!
Normies don't wake up at 2 am to go through their AH's wallet looking for who knows what!
Normies don't wake up at 3 am to go through their AH's texts to see what the hell is going on in his life because he won't communicate.
Normies don't have to wonder what "i have to work late" actually means and if he will make it home in one piece.
Normies don't have to worry when they tell their AH to go pick up the kids, that he actually will.
Normies don't have to get a gift of expensive wine from a client and need to hide it from their spouse who would never enjoy it in the first place.
Normies don't have to panic when a neighbor asks to use a tool from the garage and worry that they might also find a bottle of scotch with the hammers!
Wow, am I glad he moved out. I can finally get some sleep. And some sanity. Great thread. Thanks!!
Normies don't wake up at 2 am to go through their AH's wallet looking for who knows what!
Normies don't wake up at 3 am to go through their AH's texts to see what the hell is going on in his life because he won't communicate.
Normies don't have to wonder what "i have to work late" actually means and if he will make it home in one piece.
Normies don't have to worry when they tell their AH to go pick up the kids, that he actually will.
Normies don't have to get a gift of expensive wine from a client and need to hide it from their spouse who would never enjoy it in the first place.
Normies don't have to panic when a neighbor asks to use a tool from the garage and worry that they might also find a bottle of scotch with the hammers!
Wow, am I glad he moved out. I can finally get some sleep. And some sanity. Great thread. Thanks!!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Normies don't listen to a friend describe his boss's behaviors and say quietly "sounds like my STBXAH," only to be met with a look of blank shock from the friend, who then replies "oh my God, my boss drinks all. the. time."
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Normies don't sit around in a circle of new people hanging out evaluating how much everyone is drinking so they know who NOT make friends with.
Normies aren't excited and stunned to ONLY bring a 12 pack of beer camping for a whole weekend for 2 people.
Normies aren't excited and stunned to ONLY bring a 12 pack of beer camping for a whole weekend for 2 people.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 216
Normies aren't filled with anxiety when it's payday Friday
Normies don't have to pretend that their spouse is also a normie
Normies look forward to staff Christmas parties, wedding invites, other celebratory gatherings with their spouse as a date
Normies don't have to lecture their grown adult spouses before a celebratory gathering on how to behave appropriately
Normies don't have to make bull**** excuses as to why their spouse isn't able to make it to another staff Christmas party
Normies don't have to ask their spouse how much they had to drink today? And the every other day
Normies don't have to pretend that their spouse is also a normie
Normies look forward to staff Christmas parties, wedding invites, other celebratory gatherings with their spouse as a date
Normies don't have to lecture their grown adult spouses before a celebratory gathering on how to behave appropriately
Normies don't have to make bull**** excuses as to why their spouse isn't able to make it to another staff Christmas party
Normies don't have to ask their spouse how much they had to drink today? And the every other day
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 216
Normies don't walk a mile out in a heavy rainstorm or blizzard storm to the liquor store
Normies take turns being designated drivers and understand sometimes they need to be the responsible one at the party
Normies don't assume it's the absolute worst thing in the world to be told that they can never drink again
Normies take turns being designated drivers and understand sometimes they need to be the responsible one at the party
Normies don't assume it's the absolute worst thing in the world to be told that they can never drink again
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Oh I forgot about this thread!
Normies aren't suspicious of their own, and everyone around them's motives and actions!
"Is that the behavior of an addict?"
"Did I just say that out of codependency?"
"Are they trying to manipulate me?"
"Am I trying to manipulate them?!"
Normies aren't suspicious of their own, and everyone around them's motives and actions!
"Is that the behavior of an addict?"
"Did I just say that out of codependency?"
"Are they trying to manipulate me?"
"Am I trying to manipulate them?!"
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Boulder, Colorado
Posts: 22
Normies have probably never found themselves watching a YouTube video about how to pick a privacy lock or becoming proficient at it. Probably because their spouse blacking out on the bathroom floor with a "water bottle" isn't a regular occurrence in their home.
Speaking of water bottles, Normies have probably never grabbed their spouse's water bottle for a sip of water and ended up running to a sink to spit out a mouthful of Peppermint Schnapps.
Normies don't get calls from their spouse's employer as a last resort when they haven't been able to reach him for the days he claimed it was "cool" for him to be working from home. They've probably also never had a boss show up at their front door one night to personally deliver the message that he needed to start showing up to work if he wanted to keep his job.
Normies don't start their day reviewing the joint bank account for activity from the night before when AH was up all night. They're probably also not asking their spouse questions like "what are all of these third party billing charges? Were you signing up for porn sites again? Please cancel whatever you signed up for so we don't get charged again."
Normies don't get woken up at 3am by pounding on the door and finding their spouse in his underwear claiming that someone mugged him. They also don't find themselves out at sun up looking for the cell phone, wallet, keys and pants because he admitted that no one mugged him. He just fell asleep in the grass near the side of the road.
Speaking of water bottles, Normies have probably never grabbed their spouse's water bottle for a sip of water and ended up running to a sink to spit out a mouthful of Peppermint Schnapps.
Normies don't get calls from their spouse's employer as a last resort when they haven't been able to reach him for the days he claimed it was "cool" for him to be working from home. They've probably also never had a boss show up at their front door one night to personally deliver the message that he needed to start showing up to work if he wanted to keep his job.
Normies don't start their day reviewing the joint bank account for activity from the night before when AH was up all night. They're probably also not asking their spouse questions like "what are all of these third party billing charges? Were you signing up for porn sites again? Please cancel whatever you signed up for so we don't get charged again."
Normies don't get woken up at 3am by pounding on the door and finding their spouse in his underwear claiming that someone mugged him. They also don't find themselves out at sun up looking for the cell phone, wallet, keys and pants because he admitted that no one mugged him. He just fell asleep in the grass near the side of the road.
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: the real world
Posts: 166
Originally Posted by itsmepoppy 
Normies don't get woken up at 3am by pounding on the door and finding their spouse in his underwear . . .
[Mine thankfully didn't drive at this point.]
Normies don't get their "R"AH out of his boots and jeans when he finally staggers home at 1am, thinking that way, he won't just stagger back out the door again.
[and so will be safe.]
Normies don't then watch their "R"AH leave the apartment any way, hear him fall down the stairs and think "Damn, I hope he broke his leg!"
[So the paramedics will take him to a safe place.]
Normies don't watch their "R"AH stagger down the sidewalk [sad that he didn't injure himself on the stairs
] wearing nothing but a t-shirt, undies and socks[feeling grateful knowing the city's finest will be along very quickly to take him to a safe place.]
Normies don't then go back to bed and sleep wonderfully, knowing their "R"AH will call in the morning.
Normies don't think this is hilarious.
-- fast forward a couple of years --
Normies don't understand being grateful:
1. the friend whose car "R"AH "borrowed"
[without friend's knowledge, to go get more ____ ]
didn't press theft charges, even when "R"AH totaled said car.
2. that "R"AH is in prison for only 5 years and only for felony DUI and not vehicular manslaughter/murder.
Normies would never understand being pretty sure that even after all of this bs, I'll most likely let "R"AH come home when released this August, because this time, he'll have "got it."
Normies would question my sanity.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 93
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...oblem-drinking
Finding a normal drinker may be as hard as finding a unicorn. Anyway I found this interesting.
Finding a normal drinker may be as hard as finding a unicorn. Anyway I found this interesting.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by LexieCat
This thread is about "normal people" versus those enmeshed in a relationship with an alcoholic. So that's not exactly what we're talking about.
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