I think I engaged in a big way and now I'm so hot under the collar
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 524
I think I engaged in a big way and now I'm so hot under the collar
I'm hoping someone can help me read between the lines here and help me navigate my way back to some type of balance because this is really in my crawl.
Ok - my ex has the girls for the weekend and I had to quick go to the daycare yesterday and get something out of dd's book bag. Of course I got there at the same time he did and I just asked if I could have her book bag (sick classmates homework was in there-yes I know why is this my problem and not the sick kids mothers problem)
I saw that she was in the front seat so I reminded him that she cannot ride in the front seat. He got all huffy and while I started to walk away he told me to "suck a d"
THAT was really in my crawl. I had a nice night planned of candles, sushi and my new alanon book but I was just BENT.
He textd and apologized (whatever) and reminded me that DD needs 100 small things for school Monday (100th day of school) so I said - ok..well then get them.
He tells me that is what child support is for.
Now I'm really getting worked up. So I tell him his child support while helpful doesn't even put a dent in what kids cost but fine - I will take care of the 15.00 expense of getting 100 stickers or whatever.
THEN he tells me as a "heads up" that he is going to be asking for a demotion therefore decreasing his net worth and therefore decreasing his child support payments. Now he isn't the COO of some big company, he makes 17.00 an hour as an electrician - what 39 year old grown man does this??
I went text nuts.
First I attacked him as a person lol-ing asking what kind of grown man actually ASKS to be paid less and purposely tries to move backwards in life.
Then I attacked him as a father and told him I had lost all respect for him as a father and went on to tell him I was sorry he was their father and how insulted I was for my kids. I went on and on.
THEN he tries to back pedal and tells me that he wants to step back from his "lead" position as an electrician so it gives him more time to arrange interviews during business hours (he gets out of work at 4 maybe, if he isn't a lead man he can get out earlier because he will simply be a "helper" and will have less responsibility). He barely any responsibility period! he lives at home and sees his kids every other weekend and Wednesday nights for dinner.
WHAT A JOKE. So he continues on telling me that this is actually FOR me and FOR the girls and he goes on and on about his grand plan of getting in the corporate setting and how either nothing will change with child support or it will actually go up and in the end will make things EASIER FOR ME. this is for his kids and he loves them and he's going on and on as if he is this noble man.
First - either he has no intentions of asking for a demotion (although he is stupid enough) and just wanted to get a rise out of me. and when he got me in to his BS - he switched it around to make it sound like he's a hero and I over react as I always do.
Do you think I could let it go?
No - my next mode of attack was the domestic violence commercial being aired during the first quarter of the superbowl and I went on and on about that and what a piece of crap he is.
I almost sense that he was getting a sick high out of all these text exchanges. That deep down he just LOVED having this back and forth with me.
First he pushed my buttons with the child support.
Then when he had me sucked in - he tried to make himself seem like a hero. He twisted it all around and then started with how he knows he did terrible things and he will never be at peace and he can't sleep at night knowing all of the things he did "while he was in his addiction"
all of this after suck a d.
I'm sorry this is so long but it is the next morning and I am STILL SO worked up about this.
Ok - my ex has the girls for the weekend and I had to quick go to the daycare yesterday and get something out of dd's book bag. Of course I got there at the same time he did and I just asked if I could have her book bag (sick classmates homework was in there-yes I know why is this my problem and not the sick kids mothers problem)
I saw that she was in the front seat so I reminded him that she cannot ride in the front seat. He got all huffy and while I started to walk away he told me to "suck a d"
THAT was really in my crawl. I had a nice night planned of candles, sushi and my new alanon book but I was just BENT.
He textd and apologized (whatever) and reminded me that DD needs 100 small things for school Monday (100th day of school) so I said - ok..well then get them.
He tells me that is what child support is for.
Now I'm really getting worked up. So I tell him his child support while helpful doesn't even put a dent in what kids cost but fine - I will take care of the 15.00 expense of getting 100 stickers or whatever.
THEN he tells me as a "heads up" that he is going to be asking for a demotion therefore decreasing his net worth and therefore decreasing his child support payments. Now he isn't the COO of some big company, he makes 17.00 an hour as an electrician - what 39 year old grown man does this??
I went text nuts.
First I attacked him as a person lol-ing asking what kind of grown man actually ASKS to be paid less and purposely tries to move backwards in life.
Then I attacked him as a father and told him I had lost all respect for him as a father and went on to tell him I was sorry he was their father and how insulted I was for my kids. I went on and on.
THEN he tries to back pedal and tells me that he wants to step back from his "lead" position as an electrician so it gives him more time to arrange interviews during business hours (he gets out of work at 4 maybe, if he isn't a lead man he can get out earlier because he will simply be a "helper" and will have less responsibility). He barely any responsibility period! he lives at home and sees his kids every other weekend and Wednesday nights for dinner.
WHAT A JOKE. So he continues on telling me that this is actually FOR me and FOR the girls and he goes on and on about his grand plan of getting in the corporate setting and how either nothing will change with child support or it will actually go up and in the end will make things EASIER FOR ME. this is for his kids and he loves them and he's going on and on as if he is this noble man.
First - either he has no intentions of asking for a demotion (although he is stupid enough) and just wanted to get a rise out of me. and when he got me in to his BS - he switched it around to make it sound like he's a hero and I over react as I always do.
Do you think I could let it go?
No - my next mode of attack was the domestic violence commercial being aired during the first quarter of the superbowl and I went on and on about that and what a piece of crap he is.
I almost sense that he was getting a sick high out of all these text exchanges. That deep down he just LOVED having this back and forth with me.
First he pushed my buttons with the child support.
Then when he had me sucked in - he tried to make himself seem like a hero. He twisted it all around and then started with how he knows he did terrible things and he will never be at peace and he can't sleep at night knowing all of the things he did "while he was in his addiction"
all of this after suck a d.
I'm sorry this is so long but it is the next morning and I am STILL SO worked up about this.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
meggem...my children's father did the same kind of stuff after I divorced him. He was not an alcoholic (narcissistic personality) and he made good money. gave me the bare minimum of child support...barely enough to cover lunches for three kids.
Told people that I spent the child support on make-up and clothes!!! What a laugh.
I understand how it literally makes smoke come from our ears!!!!
I learned, over time, to just grow a thick rhino skin and to never, ever talk to him...except when absolutely necessary.
Still, it makes the blood boil.....
dandylion
Told people that I spent the child support on make-up and clothes!!! What a laugh.
I understand how it literally makes smoke come from our ears!!!!
I learned, over time, to just grow a thick rhino skin and to never, ever talk to him...except when absolutely necessary.
Still, it makes the blood boil.....
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 865
Good Morning!
Sounds like you recognize he got the best of you and you are angry with yourself. I totally get that. Don't be too hard on yourself. I have let words (because that is all they are words) get to me and spent WAY to much of my time wasting precious energy on them!
Take that energy and focus on yourself and your daughter.
One day at a time my friend.
I hope you and your daughter can have a wonderful day!!
Sounds like you recognize he got the best of you and you are angry with yourself. I totally get that. Don't be too hard on yourself. I have let words (because that is all they are words) get to me and spent WAY to much of my time wasting precious energy on them!
Take that energy and focus on yourself and your daughter.
One day at a time my friend.
I hope you and your daughter can have a wonderful day!!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,332
Yes meg, you made mistakes thinking he would help with the school project and reacting to his demotion text. Both are baloney. First not helping your child is being petty. Second, him asking for a demotion does not mean he gets an automatic reduction in child support. In both situations he is hurting himself. Your child is going to realize dad is a creep for pulling that stuff and a demotion also means less money for him. Do not engage
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Meg,
You lost it. Yes, he was a jerk (and we already know he's an abuser), but this one is mostly on you.
Who knows what his career plans really are--the crack about "decreasing his net worth and therefore decreasing his child support payments" probably WERE intended to get you going. The court doesn't change child support every time someone gets a raise or a reduction in pay--it has to be pretty substantial and ongoing.
The problem is that you bit on the hook. And in the process ripped the hell out of your own mouth.
You have to work on not reacting to the things he says. Just practice saying, hm, OK, thanks for letting me know, or whatever. That's IT. If you feel you have to "do" something about it, keep a journal of when he makes these kinds of statements--in detail--so if he goes into court asking for reduced support, you can inform the court of exactly how and under what circumstances he let you know he was doing that--that it was in the context of an argument in which he initially made a snarky remark about how you spend it, followed by this "heads up" that he is going to be changing jobs and, by the way, not able to afford as much support.
IOW, make good use of what he says/does, rather than making yourself upset and crazy. You never know--he might even be recording these conversations where he's provoking you to rant and rave and sound like a crazy person.
And BTW, you are NOT crazy, but an abuser can push your buttons to make you look like you are. Don't play his game.
Hugs, you just had a little meltdown. It happens. Try to learn from it so it doesn't keep happening.
You lost it. Yes, he was a jerk (and we already know he's an abuser), but this one is mostly on you.
Who knows what his career plans really are--the crack about "decreasing his net worth and therefore decreasing his child support payments" probably WERE intended to get you going. The court doesn't change child support every time someone gets a raise or a reduction in pay--it has to be pretty substantial and ongoing.
The problem is that you bit on the hook. And in the process ripped the hell out of your own mouth.
You have to work on not reacting to the things he says. Just practice saying, hm, OK, thanks for letting me know, or whatever. That's IT. If you feel you have to "do" something about it, keep a journal of when he makes these kinds of statements--in detail--so if he goes into court asking for reduced support, you can inform the court of exactly how and under what circumstances he let you know he was doing that--that it was in the context of an argument in which he initially made a snarky remark about how you spend it, followed by this "heads up" that he is going to be changing jobs and, by the way, not able to afford as much support.
IOW, make good use of what he says/does, rather than making yourself upset and crazy. You never know--he might even be recording these conversations where he's provoking you to rant and rave and sound like a crazy person.
And BTW, you are NOT crazy, but an abuser can push your buttons to make you look like you are. Don't play his game.
Hugs, you just had a little meltdown. It happens. Try to learn from it so it doesn't keep happening.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 524
thanks lexie. and everyone
I did. I put my bathing suit on, I climbed up the ladder onto the diving board and dove into the duck pool, and I even did some fancy flips on my way down.
I feel so much rage inside I almost feel like I cannot meet him alone on Sunday to get the kids.
I am not sure what happened but I am completely attached to this and while I know this next statement isn't 100% true - I feel like I have not made any recovery progress. All I did was leave. I know that is huge but what good is it if he still lives in my head?
I feel very regressed (is that even a word?)
I did. I put my bathing suit on, I climbed up the ladder onto the diving board and dove into the duck pool, and I even did some fancy flips on my way down.
I feel so much rage inside I almost feel like I cannot meet him alone on Sunday to get the kids.
I am not sure what happened but I am completely attached to this and while I know this next statement isn't 100% true - I feel like I have not made any recovery progress. All I did was leave. I know that is huge but what good is it if he still lives in my head?
I feel very regressed (is that even a word?)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Disengaging is learned. Life, as you can see, gives you plenty of motivation to learn quickly.
Only communicate when absolutely necessary. It will save you. It was important for me to a) not beat myself up and ruminate on the bad event but also b) go back over it to see what I might have done to avoid the situation.
In that vein. What could you have done to avoid this meltdown. Do not go to where he is unless it is needed. You did not need to retrieve other kids homework.
You could have asked your daughter to get into the back seat and buckled her in instead of correcting him - which you know he's not going to take well. He already knows where she should sit. You telling him isn't going to give him new info or change his behavior. It just poked the bear.
Ignore his smart ass come back and drive off. He can act like a three year old and live with that. He actually sent a sorry text. If you'd have dropped it there he'd still be feeling like a loser.
Ignore the job comment. Others explained why and nothing you say will change an outcome. Ignoring brings you peace and on the flip side he is enjoying your meltdown. You want to stick it to him respond with silence and let him have the meltdown because it will drive him crazy.
The 100 things. You could either just say OK and do it or respond that she has to count 100 things so he'll have to handle it and then silence. It doesn't cost anything. The homework is counting to 100. She can count 100 pennies of toothpicks or macaronis.
Only communicate when absolutely necessary. It will save you. It was important for me to a) not beat myself up and ruminate on the bad event but also b) go back over it to see what I might have done to avoid the situation.
In that vein. What could you have done to avoid this meltdown. Do not go to where he is unless it is needed. You did not need to retrieve other kids homework.
You could have asked your daughter to get into the back seat and buckled her in instead of correcting him - which you know he's not going to take well. He already knows where she should sit. You telling him isn't going to give him new info or change his behavior. It just poked the bear.
Ignore his smart ass come back and drive off. He can act like a three year old and live with that. He actually sent a sorry text. If you'd have dropped it there he'd still be feeling like a loser.
Ignore the job comment. Others explained why and nothing you say will change an outcome. Ignoring brings you peace and on the flip side he is enjoying your meltdown. You want to stick it to him respond with silence and let him have the meltdown because it will drive him crazy.
The 100 things. You could either just say OK and do it or respond that she has to count 100 things so he'll have to handle it and then silence. It doesn't cost anything. The homework is counting to 100. She can count 100 pennies of toothpicks or macaronis.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
My guess is that a lot of the rage comes from the fact that he "got" you to lose it.
Progress doesn't happen overnight, and it also doesn't go in a straight line. It's two steps forward, one step back. And sometimes, yeah, three or four steps back. But if you keep working on yourself (the only one you can change), you WILL get to the point where you can look back and say, "Wow, I've really come a long way."
Are you working with a therapist or counselor? One who specializes in domestic violence might be especially good. If you call the shelter, they might refer you to a therapist or a group that can help. And are you going to Al-Anon?
I think the fact that you do realize what happened, and are taking responsibility for your own reactions to what he said, is a sign of big progress. It's ongoing, remember. You have to realize what is happening before you can take steps to change it. And so you've made that connection, and can work on not reacting to the nutty things he says and does (as long as no one is in danger).
Try this, next time. Practice phrases like, "I'll have to get back to you on that," or "Thanks for letting me know," or "I'll have to give that some thought." Those are non-committal phrases, indicating neither agreement nor disagreement with what was just said. In fact, it would have been kinda funny if you threw out "I'll have to give that some thought" in response to "suck a d."
Then come here and discuss it where you can kick it around and vent your feelings about it without giving him the satisfaction of seeing your reaction. Sound like that might work?
Progress doesn't happen overnight, and it also doesn't go in a straight line. It's two steps forward, one step back. And sometimes, yeah, three or four steps back. But if you keep working on yourself (the only one you can change), you WILL get to the point where you can look back and say, "Wow, I've really come a long way."
Are you working with a therapist or counselor? One who specializes in domestic violence might be especially good. If you call the shelter, they might refer you to a therapist or a group that can help. And are you going to Al-Anon?
I think the fact that you do realize what happened, and are taking responsibility for your own reactions to what he said, is a sign of big progress. It's ongoing, remember. You have to realize what is happening before you can take steps to change it. And so you've made that connection, and can work on not reacting to the nutty things he says and does (as long as no one is in danger).
Try this, next time. Practice phrases like, "I'll have to get back to you on that," or "Thanks for letting me know," or "I'll have to give that some thought." Those are non-committal phrases, indicating neither agreement nor disagreement with what was just said. In fact, it would have been kinda funny if you threw out "I'll have to give that some thought" in response to "suck a d."
Then come here and discuss it where you can kick it around and vent your feelings about it without giving him the satisfaction of seeing your reaction. Sound like that might work?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
. Try this, next time. Practice phrases like, "I'll have to get back to you on that," or "Thanks for letting me know," or "I'll have to give that some thought." Those are non-committal phrases, indicating neither agreement nor disagreement with what was just said. In fact, it would have been kinda funny if you threw out "I'll have to give that some thought" in response to "suck a d." Then come here and discuss it where you can kick it around and vent your feelings about it without giving him the satisfaction of seeing your reaction. Sound like that might work?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
meggem...it would sometimes take me a day or two to fully "settle down" after a particularly hostile interaction with my ex.
As time went on, I learned better how to handle him and myself.
It is a learning curve, my friend....
dandylion
As time went on, I learned better how to handle him and myself.
It is a learning curve, my friend....
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
I think that just the fact that you recognize your own dysfunction in this is progress and is a program at work. You're human and sometimes we fall back into old patterns especially when the opposing party throws out the fishing line trying to bait us. Do yourself a favor, cut yourself some slack and learn from this experience and what you are hearing here. It's all good stuff. Hugs, I imagine I'll be in a similar situation in the near future so I'm grateful to you for posting this because, in the end, we all learn from each other.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 524
that is exactly it, I'm in a rage because I'm mad at myself for letting him get to me and for diving off.
The other night I asked to pick them up 30 minutes later because I wanted to stop and see my uncle in the hospital. He was a jerk about that too. My mom told me then, and told me last night not to ask him for ANYTHING.
If I need something, to call her.
I need my brain to understand that he is CANNOT part of my equation for anything. And I need to assume that unless God Almighty shows up in person to tell me otherwise, he is an alien that speaks another language and is just off limits.
I am feeling a little better...
No, Lex I'm not in therapy anymore of any kind. I just come here. But I just bought and have received two alanon books that I was supposed to start reading last night but instead I decided to play in the pond with the duck.
The other night I asked to pick them up 30 minutes later because I wanted to stop and see my uncle in the hospital. He was a jerk about that too. My mom told me then, and told me last night not to ask him for ANYTHING.
If I need something, to call her.
I need my brain to understand that he is CANNOT part of my equation for anything. And I need to assume that unless God Almighty shows up in person to tell me otherwise, he is an alien that speaks another language and is just off limits.
I am feeling a little better...
No, Lex I'm not in therapy anymore of any kind. I just come here. But I just bought and have received two alanon books that I was supposed to start reading last night but instead I decided to play in the pond with the duck.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Originally Posted by meggem
I'm hoping someone can help me read between the lines here and help me navigate my way back to some type of balance because this is really in my crawl.
Ok - my ex has the girls for the weekend and I had to quick go to the daycare yesterday and get something out of dd's book bag. Of course I got there at the same time he did and I just asked if I could have her book bag (sick classmates homework was in there-yes I know why is this my problem and not the sick kids mothers problem)
I saw that she was in the front seat so I reminded him that she cannot ride in the front seat. He got all huffy and while I started to walk away he told me to "suck a d"
THAT was really in my crawl. I had a nice night planned of candles, sushi and my new alanon book but I was just BENT.
He textd and apologized (whatever) and reminded me that DD needs 100 small things for school Monday (100th day of school) so I said - ok..well then get them.
He tells me that is what child support is for.
Now I'm really getting worked up. So I tell him his child support while helpful doesn't even put a dent in what kids cost but fine - I will take care of the 15.00 expense of getting 100 stickers or whatever.
THEN he tells me as a "heads up" that he is going to be asking for a demotion therefore decreasing his net worth and therefore decreasing his child support payments. Now he isn't the COO of some big company, he makes 17.00 an hour as an electrician - what 39 year old grown man does this??
I went text nuts.
First I attacked him as a person lol-ing asking what kind of grown man actually ASKS to be paid less and purposely tries to move backwards in life.
Then I attacked him as a father and told him I had lost all respect for him as a father and went on to tell him I was sorry he was their father and how insulted I was for my kids. I went on and on.
THEN he tries to back pedal and tells me that he wants to step back from his "lead" position as an electrician so it gives him more time to arrange interviews during business hours (he gets out of work at 4 maybe, if he isn't a lead man he can get out earlier because he will simply be a "helper" and will have less responsibility). He barely any responsibility period! he lives at home and sees his kids every other weekend and Wednesday nights for dinner.
WHAT A JOKE. So he continues on telling me that this is actually FOR me and FOR the girls and he goes on and on about his grand plan of getting in the corporate setting and how either nothing will change with child support or it will actually go up and in the end will make things EASIER FOR ME. this is for his kids and he loves them and he's going on and on as if he is this noble man.
First - either he has no intentions of asking for a demotion (although he is stupid enough) and just wanted to get a rise out of me. and when he got me in to his BS - he switched it around to make it sound like he's a hero and I over react as I always do.
Do you think I could let it go?
No - my next mode of attack was the domestic violence commercial being aired during the first quarter of the superbowl and I went on and on about that and what a piece of crap he is.
I almost sense that he was getting a sick high out of all these text exchanges. That deep down he just LOVED having this back and forth with me.
First he pushed my buttons with the child support.
Then when he had me sucked in - he tried to make himself seem like a hero. He twisted it all around and then started with how he knows he did terrible things and he will never be at peace and he can't sleep at night knowing all of the things he did "while he was in his addiction"
all of this after suck a d.
I'm sorry this is so long but it is the next morning and I am STILL SO worked up about this.
Ok - my ex has the girls for the weekend and I had to quick go to the daycare yesterday and get something out of dd's book bag. Of course I got there at the same time he did and I just asked if I could have her book bag (sick classmates homework was in there-yes I know why is this my problem and not the sick kids mothers problem)
I saw that she was in the front seat so I reminded him that she cannot ride in the front seat. He got all huffy and while I started to walk away he told me to "suck a d"
THAT was really in my crawl. I had a nice night planned of candles, sushi and my new alanon book but I was just BENT.
He textd and apologized (whatever) and reminded me that DD needs 100 small things for school Monday (100th day of school) so I said - ok..well then get them.
He tells me that is what child support is for.
Now I'm really getting worked up. So I tell him his child support while helpful doesn't even put a dent in what kids cost but fine - I will take care of the 15.00 expense of getting 100 stickers or whatever.
THEN he tells me as a "heads up" that he is going to be asking for a demotion therefore decreasing his net worth and therefore decreasing his child support payments. Now he isn't the COO of some big company, he makes 17.00 an hour as an electrician - what 39 year old grown man does this??
I went text nuts.
First I attacked him as a person lol-ing asking what kind of grown man actually ASKS to be paid less and purposely tries to move backwards in life.
Then I attacked him as a father and told him I had lost all respect for him as a father and went on to tell him I was sorry he was their father and how insulted I was for my kids. I went on and on.
THEN he tries to back pedal and tells me that he wants to step back from his "lead" position as an electrician so it gives him more time to arrange interviews during business hours (he gets out of work at 4 maybe, if he isn't a lead man he can get out earlier because he will simply be a "helper" and will have less responsibility). He barely any responsibility period! he lives at home and sees his kids every other weekend and Wednesday nights for dinner.
WHAT A JOKE. So he continues on telling me that this is actually FOR me and FOR the girls and he goes on and on about his grand plan of getting in the corporate setting and how either nothing will change with child support or it will actually go up and in the end will make things EASIER FOR ME. this is for his kids and he loves them and he's going on and on as if he is this noble man.
First - either he has no intentions of asking for a demotion (although he is stupid enough) and just wanted to get a rise out of me. and when he got me in to his BS - he switched it around to make it sound like he's a hero and I over react as I always do.
Do you think I could let it go?
No - my next mode of attack was the domestic violence commercial being aired during the first quarter of the superbowl and I went on and on about that and what a piece of crap he is.
I almost sense that he was getting a sick high out of all these text exchanges. That deep down he just LOVED having this back and forth with me.
First he pushed my buttons with the child support.
Then when he had me sucked in - he tried to make himself seem like a hero. He twisted it all around and then started with how he knows he did terrible things and he will never be at peace and he can't sleep at night knowing all of the things he did "while he was in his addiction"
all of this after suck a d.
I'm sorry this is so long but it is the next morning and I am STILL SO worked up about this.
You are not in control of what your ex -husband says or does. Attacking him personally is just feeding your own sickness and will bring you down. Stick to the issues at hand without making it personal. If he wants a demotion, he has that right. Acceptance is the answer. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
I need my brain to understand that he is CANNOT part of my equation for anything. And I need to assume that unless God Almighty shows up in person to tell me otherwise, he is an alien that speaks another language and is just off limits.
Yeah, I had to learn that lesson as well. It does get easier, but I definitely had some painful times on the way to understanding that.
We used Goldfish crackers for my son's 100 day counting project. Then he took them to school and shared them with his class for snacktime. Other kids used pretzels, marshmallows or fruit snacks. The main thing is the counting practice.
Yeah, I had to learn that lesson as well. It does get easier, but I definitely had some painful times on the way to understanding that.
We used Goldfish crackers for my son's 100 day counting project. Then he took them to school and shared them with his class for snacktime. Other kids used pretzels, marshmallows or fruit snacks. The main thing is the counting practice.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 524
I had to run some errands and while driving all of your responses were swirling in my head. I am relieved to know that I think dandy said sometimes it takes a day or two to settle after a bad interaction.
I got a text message from him telling me that for someone who owes him money (technically I do, but total financial picture - I don't) I am very nasty and ungrateful. And that his lawyer told him to sue me for every penny but he refused, to protect me and the girls. he wants us to live a decent life and he went down the hero road for a few more sentences.
I did not respond.
Do you know it is just this that in the past this would have melted my heart or made me think I was being unreasonable, it would make me think things/he wasn't as bad as I thought it or he was?
There is a teensy part of me that wonders if he is right by what he is saying to me.
But there is a much MUCH BIGGER part of me that sees starting last night and into today he played me like a FIDDLE.
I got a text message from him telling me that for someone who owes him money (technically I do, but total financial picture - I don't) I am very nasty and ungrateful. And that his lawyer told him to sue me for every penny but he refused, to protect me and the girls. he wants us to live a decent life and he went down the hero road for a few more sentences.
I did not respond.
Do you know it is just this that in the past this would have melted my heart or made me think I was being unreasonable, it would make me think things/he wasn't as bad as I thought it or he was?
There is a teensy part of me that wonders if he is right by what he is saying to me.
But there is a much MUCH BIGGER part of me that sees starting last night and into today he played me like a FIDDLE.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
