QueSera81

Tomorrow marks 3 weeks since I broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend. The first week was scary and exhausting, but since then things have been so peaceful. It took two requests that he stop contacting me and one very emotional phone call where I gave him a few minutes to say what he needed, but he finally seems to have taken my request to be left alone seriously. When I think about him and the direction his life is taking, I'm sad for him. In the 6 years I've worked in the emergency department, I've learned that you can't save alcoholics who don't want to save themselves. I'm glad I didn't meet him before I learned that - I'd still be wrapped up in an unhealthy relationship that would have eventually destroyed me.

I went out on a date last week. It was nice. I had two glasses of wine and he had two beers over 4 hours together. In retrospect that should have been my first clue about my ex - on our first date, the minute he sat down at the bar he ordered a beer and a shot. Just a beer wasn't enough for him.

My life has mostly returned to normal after the breakup. Deep down, there's some part of me that is still uneasy. I don't trust my instincts (which is silly, because some part of me knew VERY early that he was bad news, so had I trusted my instincts I never would have gone through this).

CodeJob

Ah normal. Sounds peaceful!

You sound well QueSera! Kudos on the date too!

GracieLou

I understand this but it was not that I didn't trust them, I ignored them.

I was told that those instincts or that gut feeling that tells you something is wrong may be God talking to you and that I just have to listen.

I pay attention to them now.

QueSera81

Yup. My New Years Resolution is actually to be better about listening to my gut instincts. They have never led me astray.

Hangnbyathread

THIS.......RIGHT HERE..........LIVE IT!!!!!


Welcome to a new peaceful existence. Take your time. Take it in. R E L A X

QueSera81

Tomorrow marks four weeks! I've been out with two different guys in the last week and a half (2 dates each!) and have 2 first dates next week. One of the guys has a daughter, which is making me anxious. Whenever my ex would get angry with me, it often had to do with his daughters. He never invited me to meet them (said he wanted me to a few times), but then would yell at me for not being interested enough in them. Maybe going out with him will be good for me - a reminder that not every guy with children is nuts.

Hawkeye13

I'm glad to hear you are back out in the pool and didn't let jerkwad sideline you for long.

Lots of fathers who are single aren't addicted crazy folk, so give the new man benefit for the moment

Glad you updated us. I'm assuming all is quiet with previous problem?

QueSera81

So far, yes. I was a little freaked out because there was a cigarette butt behind my car yesterday morning. He smoked and it's right near where he used to throw his (used to drive me crazy) but I couldn't tell what brand it was. There are lots of other ways it could have gotten there (the side of my house is on a fairly high traffic street). I'm still keeping an eye out and haven't seen anything. I'm not walking alone in my neighborhood for now (which is a bit sad, because part of the reason I chose this neighborhood was for the walkability). My friends have been good about swinging by to meet me or meeting a block or two from my place so that I can still go where I want.

CodeJob

Hmm. Keep those safety actions in place Que Sera. Don't get lazy with them. There's a reason you noticed that butt.