aboutdone

23 yr old ex step daughter in prison for using and distribution of meth. She was sentenced in Sept. I haven't spoken to her in well over 2 years, as I refused to sit and watch her dtag her kids through hell, and blame everyone else for her BS. I raised this child from tge age if 2-15. For all intents and purposes she is MY child, yet I cut her off, just like that.

Yet, I am and have allowed recovering XAH to drive me near insane with his quacking, BS, lies, disrespect and disloyalty. The past 3 months he has fallen in to a relapse. It is all there, except for the drink, and I too, just fell right in to my own old way of dealing with crap.

WTH is the difference?? Why can I cut off my daughter and grandbabies just like tgat, but put up with this fool??? Anyone else have this issue?

FeelingGreat

Every relationship is different. Is it something to do with the status of being a married woman that makes you reluctant to separate from this man?

Why not write a list of the implications to you if you leave him? It might bring out the reason why you stay.

Hawkeye13

You need to identify the "payoff" you are getting somewhere, even if you aren't directly aware of it.

Is it status / loss of status in your mind if you divorce, security, being needed, low self-esteem (I won't find someone better), pride (I'm not wrong he will shape up).
There is the "guilt" factor about leaving someone to their addiction, but you seem to have not had that with your stepdaughter so maybe that isn't a big one for you.

Another big one is just change / intertia--having to sell the house, move, etc. finance, and so on.

What things are the biggest worries / problems for you honestly if you do leave him?