auroraxborealis

After my XABF broke up with me I met my parents for lunch the next day. I told them the jist of what happened and my dad said, well now you can finally get over him. It had been less than 12 hours. I wanted to punch him.

Sungrl

5 years is a long time to live in the past or let the past haunt you like that.

Do you have anything positive to build on?

I hope you can take some good things you have, and use that to help propel you towards a better future.

CAPTAINZING2000

Life's not fair and people don't act right!

The best revenge is living well.

killerinstinct

No I mean I was in it for five years with him and have only been away from him for three months! I've only had three months of recovery!!!!

Thumper

Everyone has an opinion. Doesn't make them right or worthy.

Keeping moving - you are doing fine. It is ok to vent. When someone says something stupid to me I internally roll my eyes and mentally say "You are such a dumbass".

So juvenile, lol, but it helps me shake it off.

Eauchiche

WOW! I didn't realize the timing involved here. Sorry about my earlier post. I think expecting you to "get over it" in 3 months is an unrealistic expectation.

merrygoround1

I was told two weeks after X got out of the hospital to let it go, move on and forgive already. Part of the alcoholic system is to blame --the one w strength, cleaning everything up and holding it together....for saying something, standing up for themselves oh and Having REAL feelings.

The key is to give yourself permission to have the feelings you have for 15 minutes a day...have a little it sucks and what crap just happened is not normal --pity party....then let it go for the rest of the day and find a way to get through it, do something positive, hug yourself and kids, find something good. Rinse and repeat the next day.

You made it. You don't have to get over it on someone else's timeframe..
I was living on my exAHs timeframe for years. Clean up duty, taxi service and enabler.... I did let him go...but it took months to get away from his controlling grip, manipulation etc.

Sadly I still have to deal with his little lies and digs in front of the kids.

But how do we minimize the impact on us is our recovery path... (Ps you don't know me but I never let anger feeling come up...and I think it did a little bit! Thanks for sharing ...I need to know all my feelings and not repress them any more...thanks social worker I never met!)

irisgardens

Just want to put my arms around you and hug you. Three months is very little time...and you are trying and doing steps.

You are coming here...and that, to me, is a big step...I was always afraid to post...and have had a lot of people give advice...but, things can be very complicated and there can be many layers and many consequences...and you are the one who is the one who will work through things...and tools and caring people are really important...especially ... so know that you are supported here...and I hope that you can find someone who is more suited for you...come here...know that you have support here...

lillamy

Yes. That.

I don't know if this helps, but... three months after I left AXH, I was still having such terrible anxiety attacks that I didn't sleep. I had an exercise bike next to my bed and I'd get up at 2 am and put on a movie and just pedal that bike until I was exhausted. Then I'd take a hot shower and go back to bed and sometimes fall asleep. I surrounded myself with people who reminded me on a daily basis that I was an amazing person and that I would get through this and thrive and blossom again in time. I saw a therapist weekly who listened and listened and listened as I talked and talked and talked. I had so much pent up pain inside that I just needed to get out. I think it was a good six months before she finally got enough air time that she could say "What you have gone through would have put down a good-size bull. Do you realize how amazingly strong you are to even be standing after all of this???"

And that's my message to you. Do you realize how strong you are to still be upright?

Like Thumper said -- you know what they say about opinions? Everyone has one. Do you have the option of finding another therapist, someone who's actually got training in therapy rather than "just" social work? (Not bagging on social workers here, but their training is different.)