Rehab
Stoic
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Wash D.C.
Posts: 321
Rehab
Just sitting here today musing, and doing some googling.
Has anyone here seen long-term success from their A going to rehab? If so, do you feel like the rehab was the reason they remained sober?
From what I can tell, the success rate seems to be on par with someone becoming sober of their own accord without help...so that implies that perhaps it's almost a placebo.
Has anyone here seen long-term success from their A going to rehab? If so, do you feel like the rehab was the reason they remained sober?
From what I can tell, the success rate seems to be on par with someone becoming sober of their own accord without help...so that implies that perhaps it's almost a placebo.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
I have a few close friends and a few more distant ones who are RAs.
Two have gone to rehab -- one of them has been sober ever since without a single relapse; the other one decided he could moderate and is now back in full-force alcoholism.
One of them went straight to AA (no rehab) -- has been sober for about 11 years now, no relapses.
One of them went to another support group (no rehab) -- takes 2-3 relapses a year.
And then there's AXH who went to rehab and then decided he wasn't an alcoholic and started drinking a bottle of hard liquor a day again.
I think it is with rehab as with anything else: It will only help a person who is motivated to help themselves. Sort of like the old joke that "going to church won't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage will make you a car."
Two have gone to rehab -- one of them has been sober ever since without a single relapse; the other one decided he could moderate and is now back in full-force alcoholism.
One of them went straight to AA (no rehab) -- has been sober for about 11 years now, no relapses.
One of them went to another support group (no rehab) -- takes 2-3 relapses a year.
And then there's AXH who went to rehab and then decided he wasn't an alcoholic and started drinking a bottle of hard liquor a day again.
I think it is with rehab as with anything else: It will only help a person who is motivated to help themselves. Sort of like the old joke that "going to church won't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage will make you a car."
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
It is my belief that it's not the program, but the mindset of the person. If an addict wants sobriety, they will utilize anything and any program they have to obtain it, be it free AA meetings or inpatient rehab.
Unfortunately, it takes a huge commitment and a life dedication to being sober, and that is very hard to do.
Unfortunately, it takes a huge commitment and a life dedication to being sober, and that is very hard to do.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I know some folks who have been to rehabs countless times and cannot stay sober.
My mother went a handful of times. 6 maybe? She didn't get sober until she drank herself into assisted living in her early 50s. Literally couldn't walk or feed herself. She has since regained those abilities and has been sober for 10+ years.
My father went once (although in the 70s it was a mental hospital and not a rehab) and he's been sober since 1970. No relapses.
I went to outpatient and stayed sober for 8 months. I then went to inpatient rehab and have been sober since 2008. I can say for myself, I'm not sober BECAUSE of rehab but it sure didn't hurt.
My mother went a handful of times. 6 maybe? She didn't get sober until she drank herself into assisted living in her early 50s. Literally couldn't walk or feed herself. She has since regained those abilities and has been sober for 10+ years.
My father went once (although in the 70s it was a mental hospital and not a rehab) and he's been sober since 1970. No relapses.
I went to outpatient and stayed sober for 8 months. I then went to inpatient rehab and have been sober since 2008. I can say for myself, I'm not sober BECAUSE of rehab but it sure didn't hurt.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
My XAH went to four rehabs while we were married, as well as several IOPs, and apparently there were programs he attended when he was young also. He is still drinking.
He had some success with the last rehab (which he attended twice, about a year apart), but he got loose with his recovery plan, meetings, work, and counseling, and it all fell apart and he started drinking again.
The personal commitment is the key element. If the addict isn't truly committed to recovery, it won't happen, and rehab will be an interruption in the drug and alcohol abuse. There's no litmus test to find out if someone is "really" committed, but personally, "real" commitment happens when someone stops talking about commitment and change, and starts actually changing behaviors and attitudes in a big way.
He had some success with the last rehab (which he attended twice, about a year apart), but he got loose with his recovery plan, meetings, work, and counseling, and it all fell apart and he started drinking again.
The personal commitment is the key element. If the addict isn't truly committed to recovery, it won't happen, and rehab will be an interruption in the drug and alcohol abuse. There's no litmus test to find out if someone is "really" committed, but personally, "real" commitment happens when someone stops talking about commitment and change, and starts actually changing behaviors and attitudes in a big way.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
Originally Posted by ResignedToWait 
Just sitting here today musing, and doing some googling.
Has anyone here seen long-term success from their A going to rehab? If so, do you feel like the rehab was the reason they remained sober?
From what I can tell, the success rate seems to be on par with someone becoming sober of their own accord without help...so that implies that perhaps it's almost a placebo.
Has anyone here seen long-term success from their A going to rehab? If so, do you feel like the rehab was the reason they remained sober?
From what I can tell, the success rate seems to be on par with someone becoming sober of their own accord without help...so that implies that perhaps it's almost a placebo.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: FtW, Tx
Posts: 198
My experience watching recovering alcoholics and those attempting is rehab is just for safe detox and a catalyst to jump start an actual recovery program. I have not seen a single alcoholic maintain sobriety from rehab alone. They must have some recovery program that moves them past their narcissism. The big book states and I believe that self contentedness is the root of the problem.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
Originally Posted by iSPAZ
My experience watching recovering alcoholics and those attempting is rehab is just for safe detox and a catalyst to jump start an actual recovery program. I have not seen a single alcoholic maintain sobriety from rehab alone. They must have some recovery program that moves them past their narcissism. The big book states and I believe that self contentedness is the root of the problem.
My observation was rehab gave a safe haven with trained professionals for detox and then intensive individual and group therapy as well as lifestyle changes, nutritional info, etc...
That is an amazing opportunity that most people never have the chance to do. Be given the tools to help themselves and stay healthy. The problem as I saw it was that the tools were dropped when there was no "enforcer" or authority figure demanding they continue. The tools were cherry picked for what felt good and anything that made him feel uncomfortable was dropped and degraded. Eventually, the original thinking resumed and although he now had/has the knowledge (and can manipulate it at will) he doesn't use it. Discarded.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
My RAH went twice this yr. First time encouraged by work after he told his supervisor that he was struggling and needed help, 2nd time mandated by work to keep his job, although they did not pay for it. He relapsed the first time a month after he got out (I didn't notice any signs of relapse for a few weeks.) 2nd time he relapsed a week later on family vacation (2 slips, a couple drinks each time secretly.) 2 weeks after that he really got out of control drunk, good for another 2 weeks before a bad relapse again which resulted in me kicking him out of the house and his friends and family having no contact with him for a few weeks (hopefully his rock bottom.)
I do feel that despite the relapses the rehab was beneficial as it gave him the tools he needs for recovery and helped him connect with people locally that are RA's. Those are things he would not have been able to do himself. He told me once that he had wanted to go to an AA meeting but never knew what closed/open/BB meetings meant and had no idea who to ask. The time at rehab for RAH was beneficial to me as well, it helped me get stronger and gave me local resources as well that I was not aware of.
I do feel that despite the relapses the rehab was beneficial as it gave him the tools he needs for recovery and helped him connect with people locally that are RA's. Those are things he would not have been able to do himself. He told me once that he had wanted to go to an AA meeting but never knew what closed/open/BB meetings meant and had no idea who to ask. The time at rehab for RAH was beneficial to me as well, it helped me get stronger and gave me local resources as well that I was not aware of.
Stoic
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Wash D.C.
Posts: 321
My AW went to rehab so many times that our insurance (active duty military) stopped covering it.
To be fair, she never went on her own accord...it was always at the insistence of medical professionals that treated her. (First time for extreme jaundice...once after a liver failure...once after a stay in psych ward for suicidal ideation...etc) In all cases, she was transported directly to rehab from the hospital.
The only thing rehab ever did for her was to help network, to find more diverse drinking buddies once she got out.
To be fair, she never went on her own accord...it was always at the insistence of medical professionals that treated her. (First time for extreme jaundice...once after a liver failure...once after a stay in psych ward for suicidal ideation...etc) In all cases, she was transported directly to rehab from the hospital.
The only thing rehab ever did for her was to help network, to find more diverse drinking buddies once she got out.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
If so, do you feel like the rehab was the reason they remained sober?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Yep. My RAH is 17 mo out now s/p a 28 day rehab stint. However, he admitted he decided to make the most of it and hung with a group who worked the AA program.
Really 17 mo is not very long. He has a lot of mental baggage stashed in corners all around the house.
Really 17 mo is not very long. He has a lot of mental baggage stashed in corners all around the house.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: My mind wanders a lot, but I try to stay in the present.
Posts: 1,007
my STBXAH said he was checking himself into rehab on three different occasions. All three times he lied, and instead spent the time partying.
I'm not sure about real rehab, but in my personal experience fake rehab definitely doesn't work.
I'm not sure about real rehab, but in my personal experience fake rehab definitely doesn't work.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
I don't know that it qualifies as long term, but I went to rehab in Dec 2009 and have not had a drink since. I got out of rehab in Feb 2010 and for my first year went to a meeting a day, got a sponsor, worked the steps, and did service work. To this day, I go to at least 3 meetings a week, work with sponsees and volunteer at the local hospital detox center.
I don't think it's helpful to compare one persons experience with another's - you will often hear people say that "AA (or rehab) didn't work for me." Neither AA nor rehab can do anything for you unless you actually do the work it takes to get sober every day. If the person in question cannot let go of all reservations about ever drinking again and the consequences thereof, they likely cannot stay sober for very long.
I don't think it's helpful to compare one persons experience with another's - you will often hear people say that "AA (or rehab) didn't work for me." Neither AA nor rehab can do anything for you unless you actually do the work it takes to get sober every day. If the person in question cannot let go of all reservations about ever drinking again and the consequences thereof, they likely cannot stay sober for very long.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
I did go to a alcohol counsellor and he sent me to a daytox program for 4 weeks and it was very instrumental in giving me tools to help in maintaining my sobriety. I think it definitely has helped me. I think you get out of it what you want to put into it. I was willing to go to this and I promised myself when going that I would open my mind to anything.
I stay sober because I choose to stay sober. With that being said, doing this on your own is very hard and I just couldn't do it by myself. I was lost after I quit drinking and didn't know how to live sober. I basically had to have someone sit me down and tell me how to do it.
It certainly is not easy but it helps when you have tools you can pull out during the hard times.
I stay sober because I choose to stay sober. With that being said, doing this on your own is very hard and I just couldn't do it by myself. I was lost after I quit drinking and didn't know how to live sober. I basically had to have someone sit me down and tell me how to do it.
It certainly is not easy but it helps when you have tools you can pull out during the hard times.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 97
Rehab can be a useful tool for the person embarking on a journey of sobriety. Rehab, AA, etc. is not all that useful for the person who is not interested in and committed to changing. It can be a step towards recovery even if they are not wholehearted interested in quitting, because they see success stories, they learn there are tools, options, so if/when they ARE ready to change they know where to get help. Also, sometimes quitting takes practice, and relapse is not uncommon-especially after the first quit attempt where the person does well for awhile and thinks, "I got this, I can moderate, I won't go back to my old ways" and then, of course, does. So they may have better insight about how to get back on the wagon if they relapse because of what they learned in treatment.
I think that for most RAs I know of, "Working a program" whether that mean AA or other support group or therapy is an even more important tool in helping them to choose sobriety again, every single day.
Successful recovery requires that personal commitment and TAKING ACTION that involves MORE than simply not swallowing alcohol, but "doing the hard work" that will help you to maintain that recovery over time.
I think that for most RAs I know of, "Working a program" whether that mean AA or other support group or therapy is an even more important tool in helping them to choose sobriety again, every single day.
Successful recovery requires that personal commitment and TAKING ACTION that involves MORE than simply not swallowing alcohol, but "doing the hard work" that will help you to maintain that recovery over time.
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