waiting....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
waiting....
AH came home this afternoon and before he stepped out of tthe car I knew he was drinking. The blue drink in the iced tea bottle was a dea give away. Told him he needed to leave b/c that is the boundary (no drinking @ home). Plus I had my day care kids here. He ahreed to leave and told me heard from his doctor today about his liver tests. Was stalling in telling me what they wsaying it was bad, he's dying, etc.
Eventually left with a bag packed. At a close friends now so waiting to see how tonight plays out. He can stay there. Friend knows my boundaries and agrees they need to be inplace and enforced. Now just waiting to hear from friend...
Eventually left with a bag packed. At a close friends now so waiting to see how tonight plays out. He can stay there. Friend knows my boundaries and agrees they need to be inplace and enforced. Now just waiting to hear from friend...
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
Not sure if there will be much peace tonight. waiting for him to wake up from passing out @ friends to see what next step is. His sponsor and another person will be going to meet him when he wakes. Told friend to call and let me know what happens. If he leaves I want to be prepared in case he shows up here. Last time he came back in the middle of the night when I was sound asleep and never heard him.
Everyone in his family/friends say I need to do what I need to do for me and the kids and they will support whatever that I decide to do. I just don't know what I want to do. Not sure how much more I can take.
I know that financially I can't support myself and the kids in our current home. Even if I got a job FT. He is already on thin ice with his job so that's another factor with all this. My family is 6 hrs away so moving back home means leaving everything/everyone behind after being here for 17 yrs. My mind is just spinning with all types of scenarios. trying to focus on the moment and it is hard.
Everyone in his family/friends say I need to do what I need to do for me and the kids and they will support whatever that I decide to do. I just don't know what I want to do. Not sure how much more I can take.
I know that financially I can't support myself and the kids in our current home. Even if I got a job FT. He is already on thin ice with his job so that's another factor with all this. My family is 6 hrs away so moving back home means leaving everything/everyone behind after being here for 17 yrs. My mind is just spinning with all types of scenarios. trying to focus on the moment and it is hard.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
I feel for you.
It must be tough going through all of this. Tiring and disheartening. You are taking good care of your children, with your boundaries. Good for you. Don't let anything make you feel
like its not the right thing to do.
hugs.
It must be tough going through all of this. Tiring and disheartening. You are taking good care of your children, with your boundaries. Good for you. Don't let anything make you feel
like its not the right thing to do.
hugs.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
sweetie, think of it as if the house burned down....you'd GET OUT and you'd get to safety. if ultimately you move back near your family and support? so be it. life goes on and life is an adventure.
for now, you have him out of the house. let's hope you get a full night's rest. god bless, be safe, be well.
for now, you have him out of the house. let's hope you get a full night's rest. god bless, be safe, be well.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
Ironically if the house was on fire I would get out and go to my in laws or brother in laws. Not some much in this case. I wish there was a way to know what a person's rock bottom is. Cops were called, taken to ER and he's fighting staying there. Have no idea what to expect tomorrow. Doors all locked and outside hidden keys taken up in case he shows. Hopefully will get some sleep.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Hugs to you. Try to get some rest tonight. You don't have to make any big decisions right this minute. There's a passage from one of the Alanon books that says when we are confused about what to do, then maybe the best thing is to do nothing. Wait and see.
You have a great username, btw. Shows your priorities are in good order.
You have a great username, btw. Shows your priorities are in good order.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
Praying I can get through tonight and stay strong.
He is on his way back from a psych eval. Whenever I talked to him tonight I could feel him trying to manipulate me on the phone about what happens next. Almost like the FOG that I have read about on SR.
I have told him that he can not stay here, that I need some time to figure out what I want to do and that right now I do not trust him. He has lied to me too many times. I can not have him here with the kids when he has been drinking and I found out that he has been sneaking drinks for awhile right under my nose, or at least before he came home. It was so subtle though that I did not notice. I also told him that I feel he needs sometime to himself as well to figure out what he wants.
He is coming to get his car and some things and I told him he can tell the kids what he wants about where he is going (they have been asking all day about him.) He has to figure out where to stay and not many friends are willing to even talk to him. I am going to have to let him figure out things for himself, I realize that I have been doing that for too long.
Even after the events of last night his sponsor has said that he has not hit rock bottom yet, which is scary.
He is on his way back from a psych eval. Whenever I talked to him tonight I could feel him trying to manipulate me on the phone about what happens next. Almost like the FOG that I have read about on SR.
I have told him that he can not stay here, that I need some time to figure out what I want to do and that right now I do not trust him. He has lied to me too many times. I can not have him here with the kids when he has been drinking and I found out that he has been sneaking drinks for awhile right under my nose, or at least before he came home. It was so subtle though that I did not notice. I also told him that I feel he needs sometime to himself as well to figure out what he wants.
He is coming to get his car and some things and I told him he can tell the kids what he wants about where he is going (they have been asking all day about him.) He has to figure out where to stay and not many friends are willing to even talk to him. I am going to have to let him figure out things for himself, I realize that I have been doing that for too long.
Even after the events of last night his sponsor has said that he has not hit rock bottom yet, which is scary.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Originally Posted by ladyscribbler 
Hugs to you. Try to get some rest tonight. You don't have to make any big decisions right this minute. There's a passage from one of the Alanon books that says when we are confused about what to do, then maybe the best thing is to do nothing. Wait and see.
You have a great username, btw. Shows your priorities are in good order.
You have a great username, btw. Shows your priorities are in good order.
XXZ
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