A long road - Part 2
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
ok, I shall! I love mango! love smoothies, with mango, vanilla ice cream, banana, and strawberries, too.
I have a teensy spoon, and that will make it last longer. Cant wait to try it!
love love love. cant wait for you to get your kitties, either! You are such a good humom to those babies, and its about time for you to be able to do that again
I have a teensy spoon, and that will make it last longer. Cant wait to try it!
love love love. cant wait for you to get your kitties, either! You are such a good humom to those babies, and its about time for you to be able to do that again
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Chic - had to catch up, but as my dad would say, with a huge smile on his face, "you done GOOD!!!!!!"
It's been a long time, actually when I joined many year ago, that I was taught about the hula hoop. I know you've heard about it, but even I need a reminder sometimes. What's inside the hula hoop - that's mine. What is outside? NMP (not my problem).
Way harder to do than it seems, but you have made leaps and bounds, lately, and I'm really proud of you.
Isn't SR great?!?!?! Without all the support, ES&H, etc., I'd be a floundering mess. And yes, it took a few YEARS for me to actually hear what was being said, so you are ahead of me
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy
It's been a long time, actually when I joined many year ago, that I was taught about the hula hoop. I know you've heard about it, but even I need a reminder sometimes. What's inside the hula hoop - that's mine. What is outside? NMP (not my problem).
Way harder to do than it seems, but you have made leaps and bounds, lately, and I'm really proud of you.
Isn't SR great?!?!?! Without all the support, ES&H, etc., I'd be a floundering mess. And yes, it took a few YEARS for me to actually hear what was being said, so you are ahead of me
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Originally Posted by chicory 
He seemed so much lighter, and she wants him to come back same time next week. he has an appointment set, and I shall not say a word about it!
I did not ask about his appt. thats his stuff. he did seem happy though.
so, we shall see. At least things are much more settled here, and I know that something good has gone into his head today
I did not ask about his appt. thats his stuff. he did seem happy though.
so, we shall see. At least things are much more settled here, and I know that something good has gone into his head today
Stay strong, this is just a beginning but a very positive one. Well done you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
get the Breyers Raspberry cheesecake Gelato with the graham toppings...it is fairly inexpensive ($4.00 here at walmart) and large enough to share with sonnyboy too. it is very good, worth the calories.
I hope that this weekend is better than last weekend for you
I hope that this weekend is better than last weekend for you
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Don't think I have heard of the Hula hoop, but that's helpful. I will try to keep one on.. one of the larger ones. Actually, I wonder if I buy one, would it help my waistline? lol may need it after the gelato. which I will look for today! handy to work in a grocery store
I hope this weekend is easier too. I told him a way back that it would take more than just a 'visit' to therapy , to get things back here. And I shall stick with it.
Figuring out which things are mine to do is not so simple. but will get out my 'Codependency and beyond' as I love that book. it brings such peace.
love and hugs to all! and as always, thank you.
I hope this weekend is easier too. I told him a way back that it would take more than just a 'visit' to therapy , to get things back here. And I shall stick with it.
Figuring out which things are mine to do is not so simple. but will get out my 'Codependency and beyond' as I love that book. it brings such peace.
love and hugs to all! and as always, thank you.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I remember the hula hoop analogy and needed to hear it again too. Thanks Amy.
Chic, I tried a hula hoop a while back, I used to be quite good and a regular trickster with the ankle and wrist stuff too...I couldn't even do the waist thing. They just don't make hula hoops like they used to (it couldn't possibly be my waist).
I am wishing you a happy and wonderful weekend...regardless of how your son is. See? You happiness doesn't "depend" on his, but I know it's a whole lot easier them the house is peaceful.
Hugs
Chic, I tried a hula hoop a while back, I used to be quite good and a regular trickster with the ankle and wrist stuff too...I couldn't even do the waist thing. They just don't make hula hoops like they used to (it couldn't possibly be my waist).
I am wishing you a happy and wonderful weekend...regardless of how your son is. See? You happiness doesn't "depend" on his, but I know it's a whole lot easier them the house is peaceful.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Ann, they do not make them like they used to, no doubt!
Today son mentioned the therapy. Said next is history. I think that probably worries him. He stated that he does not think this is necessary. that he does not want to take antidepressants, which she indicated may help, and was going to send him to the psychiatrist for advice.. he did not want that.. that is his right , of course.
I just listened and then when he sort of mentioned that he thought it might not be necessary to go, I reminded him that I had offered to help him ( pay to reinstate his driver license) if he goes to her for whatever time she wants and offers him. He did not argue, and I went on to say that she probably wasn't going to offer long term for free, and it would be very wise, imho, to take what she is offering him right now. He did not say no, but I let him know that opting out is not going to get my help.
we talked civilly and he asked how I felt today, seems to be trying to not react selfishly.
I am not going to let that upset me.. I will just accept that its up to him. me talking him into it won't make it happen.
a day at a time. taking care of myself, and being supportive for him.
I hope the weekend goes well too. its terrible when discord is more comfortable, more familiar. waiting for the shoe to drop is what I am working on in myself now. how to not!
hugs
Today son mentioned the therapy. Said next is history. I think that probably worries him. He stated that he does not think this is necessary. that he does not want to take antidepressants, which she indicated may help, and was going to send him to the psychiatrist for advice.. he did not want that.. that is his right , of course.
I just listened and then when he sort of mentioned that he thought it might not be necessary to go, I reminded him that I had offered to help him ( pay to reinstate his driver license) if he goes to her for whatever time she wants and offers him. He did not argue, and I went on to say that she probably wasn't going to offer long term for free, and it would be very wise, imho, to take what she is offering him right now. He did not say no, but I let him know that opting out is not going to get my help.
we talked civilly and he asked how I felt today, seems to be trying to not react selfishly.
I am not going to let that upset me.. I will just accept that its up to him. me talking him into it won't make it happen.
a day at a time. taking care of myself, and being supportive for him.
I hope the weekend goes well too. its terrible when discord is more comfortable, more familiar. waiting for the shoe to drop is what I am working on in myself now. how to not!
hugs
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
chicory....I think getting more face-to face support for yourself will make an enormous difference as you are going through these changes. It is just too hard and stressful to walk this path alone.
You need some real live peeps beside you who truly "get it"!!
dandylion
You need some real live peeps beside you who truly "get it"!!
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
He knows your boundaries and is trying to find wiggle room...really, don't engage except to re-state what you require, keep the internet off and I would advise you to remove this 1/2 ability that is allowing him to keep part of it.
it seems like it is a compromise that he will use to badger you. besides if the internet is cut off it is OFF, not allowing email or you to use this website. it baffles me how this works, but that is just me.
it seems like it is a compromise that he will use to badger you. besides if the internet is cut off it is OFF, not allowing email or you to use this website. it baffles me how this works, but that is just me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Well, Fandy, Its like this. the internet is so slowed down that he cannot do the things he was so constantly doing. He is out and about, more now. and doing things around the house, and his state of mind is calmer. Not sure what he was doing, think it was gaming, skyping, down loading stuff, live chats? maybe,,, I dont know but its working for me... its slow, problematic, constantly having to reload pages, cant send messages without having to reload, or it says page not available. its a pita... but its cheaper this way and he is going to counsel and I am not going to worry about shutting it down totally. I cannot afford a device, and this seems to be enough to get him out of his room, and into counsel.
I assure you,I am not lying.. I did do what I said I was going to do. They told me that it would be off,,, on a temporary seasonal shutdown, for 6.** per month, and I can do it for up to six months. It was not my understanding that I would be able to use it at all- I even shared a bit of my situation, so they would understand why I wanted to do this. and they suggested this, because it would cost me more to actually give up internet service... if I was to want it back in the future (which I would) Id have to pay more, get it reconnected, get a new modem.etc. I hope this makes sense to you now. I thought I explained all that before..
Its not good service, but its awesome that I can do what I want, even if it takes me half an hour to get the pages to come up. my email does not even come up sometimes. or facebook or SR, for a long long irritating time.
his computer has a lot more stuff than mine, games, etc. that he cannot do now. basically, this was hurt enough, to get desired reaction. so, I am not going to worry about it, unless he starts not doing anything. if he wont go to counsel, or look for work, etc, then I will have to do something, but shutting off what is left won't be much of a threat.
I did get some of that raspberry cheesecake gelato tonight. we had some and watched the world news.. its crazier every day.
I assure you,I am not lying.. I did do what I said I was going to do. They told me that it would be off,,, on a temporary seasonal shutdown, for 6.** per month, and I can do it for up to six months. It was not my understanding that I would be able to use it at all- I even shared a bit of my situation, so they would understand why I wanted to do this. and they suggested this, because it would cost me more to actually give up internet service... if I was to want it back in the future (which I would) Id have to pay more, get it reconnected, get a new modem.etc. I hope this makes sense to you now. I thought I explained all that before..
Its not good service, but its awesome that I can do what I want, even if it takes me half an hour to get the pages to come up. my email does not even come up sometimes. or facebook or SR, for a long long irritating time.
his computer has a lot more stuff than mine, games, etc. that he cannot do now. basically, this was hurt enough, to get desired reaction. so, I am not going to worry about it, unless he starts not doing anything. if he wont go to counsel, or look for work, etc, then I will have to do something, but shutting off what is left won't be much of a threat.
I did get some of that raspberry cheesecake gelato tonight. we had some and watched the world news.. its crazier every day.
Guest
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 2,968
I would send you cookies yet I have a sneaky feeling that you bakebetter than I do..Chicory .. it is working with how it all worked out..still a
work in progress as they say..yet great results and you sound so much better.
lauren
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
MMMM, what kind of cookies? I do love home made cookies
Oh, I can assure you that I do not bake better than you, Lauren
Miley would probably not eat puppy treats if I baked them. lol
Thank you, and yes, small progress, and hoping for more.
hugs to you this morning. I hope your day is wonderful!
Oh, I can assure you that I do not bake better than you, Lauren
Miley would probably not eat puppy treats if I baked them. lol
Thank you, and yes, small progress, and hoping for more.
hugs to you this morning. I hope your day is wonderful!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
YUM! I need some. and a cuppa cafe latte.
Chicory, you really are making progress. I need to make some progress too. I think I might just forget my brother. It's a very one way relationship. I only near from him when he wants or needs something. I hear nothing otherwise. And I do worry too much about it. Another thing that really, really bothers me is his fantasy about his father. I understand bro needs something to help him. That the fantasy of a father who actually cared for him is the only comfort he will ever have.
I got my own issues. I made a lot of progress in therapy. Maybe I should see about going back. but I can't bear raking through all the real "interesting" stuff again.
Sorry to dump in your thread, dear chicory.
Love from Lenina
Chicory, you really are making progress. I need to make some progress too. I think I might just forget my brother. It's a very one way relationship. I only near from him when he wants or needs something. I hear nothing otherwise. And I do worry too much about it. Another thing that really, really bothers me is his fantasy about his father. I understand bro needs something to help him. That the fantasy of a father who actually cared for him is the only comfort he will ever have.
I got my own issues. I made a lot of progress in therapy. Maybe I should see about going back. but I can't bear raking through all the real "interesting" stuff again.
Sorry to dump in your thread, dear chicory.
Love from Lenina
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Lauren,,, oh, my goodness, you made them beautifully! I can almost smell them. Aren't they absolutely wonderful? and I am not an orange desserts person. Ok, those are going into the vault thank you, for posting them, its so pretty, it does brighten a day to see them, and remember how good they taste.
Lenina, thank you for sharing ! you make it more interesting I am sorry about your brother though. I have one who does not take much interest in me, or my other sisters. unless its something HE is interested in.
Im sorry your brother is so yearning for a caring father. isn't it a shame that we have to dream up parental love and devotion? a really tragic shame. oh, well, you love him. and thats a good thing, he has that, when he really needs it.
you seem a very stable, together woman, Leelee... I adore ya.
thank you, for posting them, its so pretty, it does brighten a day to see them, and remember how good they taste.Lenina, thank you for sharing ! you make it more interesting
I am sorry about your brother though. I have one who does not take much interest in me, or my other sisters. unless its something HE is interested in. Im sorry your brother is so yearning for a caring father. isn't it a shame that we have to dream up parental love and devotion? a really tragic shame. oh, well, you love him. and thats a good thing, he has that, when he really needs it.
you seem a very stable, together woman, Leelee... I adore ya.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Oh lordy, I can smell Lauren's cookies too...they are the loveliest cookies I have ever seen and literally made me drool....something that comes easier as we age, lol.
Chic, things are going better, it's progress. It may not be perfect but it's the path that will take you to where you want to go. Baby steps have taken me miles and miles on my journey.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Hugs
Chic, things are going better, it's progress. It may not be perfect but it's the path that will take you to where you want to go. Baby steps have taken me miles and miles on my journey.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Working hard here to recover from my overactive 'fixer'.
He still intends on going to next therapist appt. I am not asking, not trying to convince.
He will occasionally complain about lack of computer functionality, but lets it go after one low key comment. I took him yesterday to go into businesses close by... not many close,but within few miles , as he can bike there.
I hesitated to write this early, as anything can happen, but just saying, I am working hard on not being manipulative , as well meaning as it might have been, its useless to try to make someone see what they do not want to see or are not ready to see.
letting him do work for stuff he needs. getting a lot of help around the house. today , he paints!
He still intends on going to next therapist appt. I am not asking, not trying to convince.
He will occasionally complain about lack of computer functionality, but lets it go after one low key comment. I took him yesterday to go into businesses close by... not many close,but within few miles , as he can bike there.
I hesitated to write this early, as anything can happen, but just saying, I am working hard on not being manipulative , as well meaning as it might have been, its useless to try to make someone see what they do not want to see or are not ready to see.
letting him do work for stuff he needs. getting a lot of help around the house. today , he paints!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Bumpity bump...Chic, you have been very quiet lately..how did the 2nd therapy appointment go? and most importantly, How are YOU?
I thought of this thread when my brother showed up with the new Samsung tablet he did NOT buy at Costco...because he took it back and got it $35.00 cheaper at BJ's.
I hope that no news is good news...hugs.
I thought of this thread when my brother showed up with the new Samsung tablet he did NOT buy at Costco...because he took it back and got it $35.00 cheaper at BJ's.
I hope that no news is good news...hugs.
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