A long road - Part 2
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
About this subject of resistance to therapy......it is such an incredibly difficult hurdle.
I, personally, dandylion, am going to place a majority of blame on our cultural messages!!
There is a long history of attaching stigma to anyone who receives or "needs" psychological help of any kind. It is a label. Yes, we have come a long way in recent decades---but these attitudes still exist. I will stick my neck out further, and say...that it is worse for men than women, in general. Again, I believe this is also for social reasons.
What I have seen, over the years, in my work is....that those who need it the very most--those who could benefit the very most...are those who are the most resistant to it. Another thing that I have observed: When those who are very resistant are finally in a position that they really have to receive help--through situational conditions---when it wasn't purely voluntary on their part---often embrace it the most!!
Very paradoxical.
The definition that I like to give people is that a (shrink, therapist, counselor, etc.) is nothing more than "a helping friend along the way". They just usually get paid for it.
The demon seems to be in the labels.
I am rambling on, here, this morning....LOL! I guess my point is that I sympathise with what chicory is up against with her son's resistance to therapy professionals. He seems clearly interested in help and understanding (deep down)...but is terrified of what that m ight say about him. The messages that we receive from our culture are subtle and pervasive...therefore, are very powerful.......sigh....
Just sharing my thoughts on this....
dandylion
I, personally, dandylion, am going to place a majority of blame on our cultural messages!!
There is a long history of attaching stigma to anyone who receives or "needs" psychological help of any kind. It is a label. Yes, we have come a long way in recent decades---but these attitudes still exist. I will stick my neck out further, and say...that it is worse for men than women, in general. Again, I believe this is also for social reasons.
What I have seen, over the years, in my work is....that those who need it the very most--those who could benefit the very most...are those who are the most resistant to it. Another thing that I have observed: When those who are very resistant are finally in a position that they really have to receive help--through situational conditions---when it wasn't purely voluntary on their part---often embrace it the most!!
Very paradoxical.
The definition that I like to give people is that a (shrink, therapist, counselor, etc.) is nothing more than "a helping friend along the way". They just usually get paid for it.
The demon seems to be in the labels.
I am rambling on, here, this morning....LOL! I guess my point is that I sympathise with what chicory is up against with her son's resistance to therapy professionals. He seems clearly interested in help and understanding (deep down)...but is terrified of what that m ight say about him. The messages that we receive from our culture are subtle and pervasive...therefore, are very powerful.......sigh....
Just sharing my thoughts on this....
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Not rambling at all, Dandylion... very very helpful and in a way encouraging. At least its good to know how most people react. And that situational conditions can help push them toward getting therapy. I intend to not let up on gentle pushing, combined with understanding and lots of communicating about it. no letting it go, no letting it die down, no letting it become just a blip on the screen.
What is pretty interesting here is, a lot of my family of origin, my siblings, myself included, have exhibited signs of this sort of disorder. in varying degrees. So its not like my son is the 'only one', who could benefit from understanding this.
I still have the computer limitations on. Still trying to figure out how to 'encourage' him to get therapy. Its good for him to know that for depression and anxiety, I have gotten therapy before, so it's not a shameful taboo thing in our home.
I am researching too, how to help him. What sort of therapy helps. Its very encouraging. especially since the whole fam damily seems to have some of the anxieties, I can hold up this one, that one, myself, in talking about it. He has not much to do on the internet as he used to, so we can spend a good bit of time talking about things. and on planning for his future, jobs, maybe school . Its really sad sometimes, how much this anxiety has held him back, in his thinking, and reluctance to push as much as people have to, these days, to find a good job. right now, working on getting something he can get to on bike. to save money for a car. then go from there. I believe him saving his own money for this will really make a difference. we have always helped him more, because he just could not seem to manage it, or to have the patience to plan things.
reading an ADD book too, which I finally got . enlightening stuff. good grief, how many things can one family be tangled up by??? lol. its good to learn. I wish they taught more things in school, about mental health, and did more screening for ADD. I believe I may have it, as I remember just blanking out in Math, and in Social Sciences, knowing I could not get it. always fell behind, and gave up. English was a joy for me, but the other stuff, I was fearful and teachers did not recognize it. Always said, 'You could do much better if you tried, etc".
sorry, blathering on.. but I am so so grateful for the help here and understanding.
What is pretty interesting here is, a lot of my family of origin, my siblings, myself included, have exhibited signs of this sort of disorder. in varying degrees. So its not like my son is the 'only one', who could benefit from understanding this.
I still have the computer limitations on. Still trying to figure out how to 'encourage' him to get therapy. Its good for him to know that for depression and anxiety, I have gotten therapy before, so it's not a shameful taboo thing in our home.
I am researching too, how to help him. What sort of therapy helps. Its very encouraging. especially since the whole fam damily seems to have some of the anxieties, I can hold up this one, that one, myself, in talking about it. He has not much to do on the internet as he used to, so we can spend a good bit of time talking about things. and on planning for his future, jobs, maybe school . Its really sad sometimes, how much this anxiety has held him back, in his thinking, and reluctance to push as much as people have to, these days, to find a good job. right now, working on getting something he can get to on bike. to save money for a car. then go from there. I believe him saving his own money for this will really make a difference. we have always helped him more, because he just could not seem to manage it, or to have the patience to plan things.
reading an ADD book too, which I finally got . enlightening stuff. good grief, how many things can one family be tangled up by??? lol. its good to learn. I wish they taught more things in school, about mental health, and did more screening for ADD. I believe I may have it, as I remember just blanking out in Math, and in Social Sciences, knowing I could not get it. always fell behind, and gave up. English was a joy for me, but the other stuff, I was fearful and teachers did not recognize it. Always said, 'You could do much better if you tried, etc".
sorry, blathering on.. but I am so so grateful for the help here and understanding.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Oh, WoW, chicory. It is just amazing how you have grabbed the bull by the horns.
On the Add thing....more girls get overlooked than boys, even. The interesting thing is that most adults get diagnosed after their kids do!!...LOL!
Actually, anxiety is the most common mental health category---even more than depression.
The good news is that---it is the most easily and successfully treated!! It does seem to cl uster in families...as does ADD. Whenever you see ADD...you are almost always going to see anxiety along with it.
One pearl that I learned along the way....is whenever you see someone who is bright..but labeled as an "underachiever".....always look for ADD. And, I have almost always found this to pan out........who knew? LOL.
I admire your tenacity.....
dandylion
On the Add thing....more girls get overlooked than boys, even. The interesting thing is that most adults get diagnosed after their kids do!!...LOL!
Actually, anxiety is the most common mental health category---even more than depression.
The good news is that---it is the most easily and successfully treated!! It does seem to cl uster in families...as does ADD. Whenever you see ADD...you are almost always going to see anxiety along with it.
One pearl that I learned along the way....is whenever you see someone who is bright..but labeled as an "underachiever".....always look for ADD. And, I have almost always found this to pan out........who knew? LOL.
I admire your tenacity.....
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
it sounds like he is letting go of his 1001 Excuses why he does not____________.
applying for jobs is good and will eventually lead to some kind of employment. a weekly therapy session will help keep him on track.
you want to push him for a job before he can use bad weather as an excuse.
applying for jobs is good and will eventually lead to some kind of employment. a weekly therapy session will help keep him on track.
you want to push him for a job before he can use bad weather as an excuse.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Wow, Chic, how far you and your son have both come. In the beginning it was just one challenge after another and constant quarreling but it is as if, when you put your foot down and yanked the computer privileges, it was like when Caesar Milan gives a dog one of those pokes that just snaps it out of it's red zone (don't mean to compare your kid to a dog, but it's a psychological thing that seems to work).
I'm proud of both of you and just mostly cheering you on...and sending hugs.
I'm proud of both of you and just mostly cheering you on...and sending hugs.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Hello all.
It has been very interesting since my son got his tentative diagnosis, of Avoidant Personality disorder, possible ADD, and anxiety and depression. He did not want to do therapy as of now, although there are times when I point out things he is doing which I believe are characteristic of those disorders. I am researching, and ordered two books on ADD( thanks Dandylion for suggesting that, it's been very interesting!)
I believe that he may believe this. I think that it is a relief to him, since it indicates that he is not just being lazy, selfish, nor is he avoiding getting a job because he is happy to freeload. Avoidant behavior stems from insecurity, and fear of not being liked, and fear of looking stupid and being criticized. Criticism blows them away. If they know they are liked, they are much more easily coaxed into applying for a job, or going to a social event. Deep seated fears of inadequacy are behind most of everything they do and think and say. Its more complicated than this, but this is just some of what he displays.
this is him, almost exactly. I have often said that if I tell him that someone likes him and would love him to work for them, he gets encouraged . He cannot admit failure. He hates when the sisters judge him for past failures, and would get crazy irrational in his excuses. neither myself nor the girls could figure out how he could believe the excuses he would give. anyway, this disorder just fits him and his ways of coping. His anxiety further complicates things, and depression and sleep disturbances don't help.
The good news is, since he saw the counselor, and since we talk about it a lot, he is calmer, more functional, and I can tell that he is determined to not let this decide his life. He does not want to take any meds... not anxiety ( I feared he would abuse anxiety meds), not depression meds, or ADD, but we have been discussing ADD a LOT, especially since I think I have some of that as well. I have had anxiety, depression and was medicated for it, at times in my life. He does not like the side effects, nor how the SSRI 's make him feel. He has a fear of them for some reason.
I hope that if he cannot fight this on his own, that he will be open to therapy and meds. He really does need therapy. It would make such a difference in his life, especially since he is a smart guy and he wants better things for his self. I think he is encouraged, and think of how therapy would further encourage him!
more encouraging news is... he has been applying for jobs, and doing follow ups. Getting ready and going to pick up apps, finishing them up and taking them in right away! on his own, with my help for transportation. He has been doing call backs, and today got a call on one job, and a call from another. His background check came back at one place, and he goes in Saturday morning for some computer work and paper work. another place wants him to come in too.
He is getting encouraged by these small successes, just by trying to remain positive.
I was getting so overwhelmed last week, I was almost hyperventilating...lol. I kept feeling like I wanted to help him, that I needed to think of another place, etc. I talked to him about it, and it cleared the air.
I realized that just because he has a mental disorder , it does not mean that he cannot work on his own problems. my codependency was kicking in and I did not want him to get discouraged.... last week it did not look so promising about jobs, but it just took a bit of time and calls and things started to look up. And I had to take my hands off the controls, and let him do it. Praising him and encouraging him seems to work wonders. Telling him that I understand now why he said things that made me crazy, and we had some good talks about that.
I worry about the future, alcohol dependence, and things, but I cannot let that make me go crazy. I am taking it a day at a time, and hoping for the best. I do know that I won't hesitate to give him consequences if he abuses alcohol here again.
I have a long way to go, in my recovery from codependency. I had to get out my 'Codependent No More' the other day and read from page 183:
"We can, as Earnie Larsen says, learn to ignore nonsense. We can refuse to talk to someone's illness, whether it is alcoholism or another compulsive disorder. If it doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense. We don't have to waste our time trying to make sense out of it or trying to convince the other person that what he or she said didn't make sense. Learn to say,"I don't want to discuss this"."
Interestingly enough, this happened yesterday morning, as my son started to talk his 'defense jumble'... starting to be negative, making some excuses, giving reasons why something would not work, no reason to try this or that, etc, etc. getting frustrated the way he always did.
I pointed out to him that this was his disorder talking,, the fear talking. and that I wasn't going to talk about it with him. That this is why he should go to therapy. I left for several hours, and when I came back, it was over and everything was ok, and he helped me paint the bathroom and had changed his attitude.
It amazes me that he was struggling this way for years, and I did not have the sense to see that it was something he needed help with. I did think so, many times, but you just sort of think that they are being an a## for some reason, and didn't even think it might really be a real condition. two alcoholic parents, dysfunctional family of origin.. lots of stuff gets under the radar.
so, seems like things are going alright. I am learning, he is learning, and I just hope that things don't go crazy anytime soon.
Ann, I loved the thread you started today. I wanted to post this stuff on there, but did not get a chance to. I don't have a lot to teach anyone right now, but I would love to be able to help someone else the way SR folks have saved me.
love and hugs
It has been very interesting since my son got his tentative diagnosis, of Avoidant Personality disorder, possible ADD, and anxiety and depression. He did not want to do therapy as of now, although there are times when I point out things he is doing which I believe are characteristic of those disorders. I am researching, and ordered two books on ADD( thanks Dandylion for suggesting that, it's been very interesting!)
I believe that he may believe this. I think that it is a relief to him, since it indicates that he is not just being lazy, selfish, nor is he avoiding getting a job because he is happy to freeload. Avoidant behavior stems from insecurity, and fear of not being liked, and fear of looking stupid and being criticized. Criticism blows them away. If they know they are liked, they are much more easily coaxed into applying for a job, or going to a social event. Deep seated fears of inadequacy are behind most of everything they do and think and say. Its more complicated than this, but this is just some of what he displays.
this is him, almost exactly. I have often said that if I tell him that someone likes him and would love him to work for them, he gets encouraged . He cannot admit failure. He hates when the sisters judge him for past failures, and would get crazy irrational in his excuses. neither myself nor the girls could figure out how he could believe the excuses he would give. anyway, this disorder just fits him and his ways of coping. His anxiety further complicates things, and depression and sleep disturbances don't help.
The good news is, since he saw the counselor, and since we talk about it a lot, he is calmer, more functional, and I can tell that he is determined to not let this decide his life. He does not want to take any meds... not anxiety ( I feared he would abuse anxiety meds), not depression meds, or ADD, but we have been discussing ADD a LOT, especially since I think I have some of that as well. I have had anxiety, depression and was medicated for it, at times in my life. He does not like the side effects, nor how the SSRI 's make him feel. He has a fear of them for some reason.
I hope that if he cannot fight this on his own, that he will be open to therapy and meds. He really does need therapy. It would make such a difference in his life, especially since he is a smart guy and he wants better things for his self. I think he is encouraged, and think of how therapy would further encourage him!
more encouraging news is... he has been applying for jobs, and doing follow ups. Getting ready and going to pick up apps, finishing them up and taking them in right away! on his own, with my help for transportation. He has been doing call backs, and today got a call on one job, and a call from another. His background check came back at one place, and he goes in Saturday morning for some computer work and paper work. another place wants him to come in too.
He is getting encouraged by these small successes, just by trying to remain positive.
I was getting so overwhelmed last week, I was almost hyperventilating...lol. I kept feeling like I wanted to help him, that I needed to think of another place, etc. I talked to him about it, and it cleared the air.
I realized that just because he has a mental disorder , it does not mean that he cannot work on his own problems. my codependency was kicking in and I did not want him to get discouraged.... last week it did not look so promising about jobs, but it just took a bit of time and calls and things started to look up. And I had to take my hands off the controls, and let him do it. Praising him and encouraging him seems to work wonders. Telling him that I understand now why he said things that made me crazy, and we had some good talks about that.
I worry about the future, alcohol dependence, and things, but I cannot let that make me go crazy. I am taking it a day at a time, and hoping for the best. I do know that I won't hesitate to give him consequences if he abuses alcohol here again.
I have a long way to go, in my recovery from codependency. I had to get out my 'Codependent No More' the other day and read from page 183:
"We can, as Earnie Larsen says, learn to ignore nonsense. We can refuse to talk to someone's illness, whether it is alcoholism or another compulsive disorder. If it doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense. We don't have to waste our time trying to make sense out of it or trying to convince the other person that what he or she said didn't make sense. Learn to say,"I don't want to discuss this"."
Interestingly enough, this happened yesterday morning, as my son started to talk his 'defense jumble'... starting to be negative, making some excuses, giving reasons why something would not work, no reason to try this or that, etc, etc. getting frustrated the way he always did.
I pointed out to him that this was his disorder talking,, the fear talking. and that I wasn't going to talk about it with him. That this is why he should go to therapy. I left for several hours, and when I came back, it was over and everything was ok, and he helped me paint the bathroom and had changed his attitude.
It amazes me that he was struggling this way for years, and I did not have the sense to see that it was something he needed help with. I did think so, many times, but you just sort of think that they are being an a## for some reason, and didn't even think it might really be a real condition. two alcoholic parents, dysfunctional family of origin.. lots of stuff gets under the radar.
so, seems like things are going alright. I am learning, he is learning, and I just hope that things don't go crazy anytime soon.
Ann, I loved the thread you started today. I wanted to post this stuff on there, but did not get a chance to. I don't have a lot to teach anyone right now, but I would love to be able to help someone else the way SR folks have saved me.
love and hugs
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Thank you Ann, for the encouragement. and the hugs you are right.. things are a lot different.
I can't actually believe that anything positive has happened, you know? I had no idea of how things would ever change, but they have.
I will keep my poking stick handy though.
you are right.. things are a lot different. I can't actually believe that anything positive has happened, you know? I had no idea of how things would ever change, but they have.
I will keep my poking stick handy though.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Chic - This is all so interesting - and hopeful! I pray this breakthrough will mean a huge improvement for your son and you. I never heard of Avoidant Personality Disorder. I'm grateful to know about it. My son has similar behavior.
I'm glad you feel encouraged! You've been through so much.
I'm glad you feel encouraged! You've been through so much.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Thank you Hevyn
There is a lot of stuff online, you can check out. There are some personality disorders which are more dreaded, but this one is treatable, and not delusional.
hope he gets some help , Hevyn. It is encouraging, to just understand why.
There is a lot of stuff online, you can check out. There are some personality disorders which are more dreaded, but this one is treatable, and not delusional.
hope he gets some help , Hevyn. It is encouraging, to just understand why.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Great news Chic, but please remember googling and reading can lead to you trying to fix everything and you are not the person to diagnose your son. You seem to be trying so hard.
You might channel your encouragement to him seeing a licensed therapist as she can give him professional help.
I know you too are desperate for answers but you have to let him do it himself.
You might channel your encouragement to him seeing a licensed therapist as she can give him professional help.
I know you too are desperate for answers but you have to let him do it himself.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I agree with Fandy, Chic, and I know that's exactly how it is with me...I'm a "fixer upper" and I need to have answers NOW...oh lordy how hard it is to let them learn their own way and find their own answers. Your son may have a disability...but he has many many "abilities" Chic and I think it will build self-confidence for him to do his own work. Research for you and your own peace of mind, offer encouragement for him, then let God and your boy do the rest.
Are you kidding me, Chic? You have so much to teach and that would help others who are stuck and who struggle with this very thing. With members, our problems may vary and differ, but the solutions and how to work through them are often similar and work for everyone. Yours is an awesome story of recovery and the lessons you have learned along the way are invaluable.
Hugs
Ann, I loved the thread you started today. I wanted to post this stuff on there, but did not get a chance to. I don't have a lot to teach anyone right now, but I would love to be able to help someone else the way SR folks have saved me.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Yes, I am too anxious to get some forward movement for him.. true.
I have my own disorder to work on. I can see this in lots of my family members. It's a big dysfunctional pot of stew... but thank goodness they are all pretty nice people! I am blessed.
I will continue to encourage him to go to therapy. My brain is like a pair of hands- gotta try to keep my mind where it belongs! On my own stuff...
He is doing well, though. and I am so happy that it worked out this way. Its a hopeful beginning!
love and hugs!
I have my own disorder to work on. I can see this in lots of my family members. It's a big dysfunctional pot of stew... but thank goodness they are all pretty nice people! I am blessed.
I will continue to encourage him to go to therapy. My brain is like a pair of hands- gotta try to keep my mind where it belongs! On my own stuff...
He is doing well, though. and I am so happy that it worked out this way. Its a hopeful beginning!
love and hugs!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
If you want someone to fix, I have about 10 medical students I will happily ship off to you for 8 weeks....they are brilliant, rude and dysfunctional, entitled, complaining selfish brats who think they know everything.
..now they are about retirement age..lol.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
I just want to clarify for anyone new reading this, that my son was professionally diagnosed... I am not diagnosing him. Not qualified for that. But I am educating myself on this disorder, since it directly affects me and it helps me to best support him.
I shall continue my therapy and hopefully he will go. I am hoping that he will recognize how it is hindering him, and that he will decide that he would benefit from it .
I can only fix me, but I can be loving and supportive. If I had not, he would not have gone to therapy and I would still be in the dark , knowing there was something, but not knowing what in the world it was.
I shall continue my therapy and hopefully he will go. I am hoping that he will recognize how it is hindering him, and that he will decide that he would benefit from it .
I can only fix me, but I can be loving and supportive. If I had not, he would not have gone to therapy and I would still be in the dark , knowing there was something, but not knowing what in the world it was.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
But he only saw therapist twice? Idk, I read back and you stated it was a "tentative dx"...
She probably will be better informed after she meets with him again and gets more in depth, its not instant, took me about 2 months of going 2-3 times a week to start making real changes and working myself out of the maze I was in....I was a regular in her office for almost 3.5 years.
But the important thing is forward, not backward.
She probably will be better informed after she meets with him again and gets more in depth, its not instant, took me about 2 months of going 2-3 times a week to start making real changes and working myself out of the maze I was in....I was a regular in her office for almost 3.5 years.
But the important thing is forward, not backward.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Well, to be honest, I added the 'tentative' when I posted here, because he did not go on to see the psychologist for evaluation for medications that the therapist felt he would need. She cannot prescribe meds, the psych. is necessary for that.
The point I was making is that I did not diagnose him by reading online as you seemed to think. He has been evaluated three times, in total. One of those times he was told he has situational depression. He did not get treatment then either. Its hard to make someone take meds if they do not believe they need to.
It will be his choice, and as I said, since he lives with me, I want to understand all I can about the disorder. It fits perfectly with his symptoms and his lifestyle. I can't do much more than that... its his choice whether he wants to go, but he seems to be working on it. Talk therapy is recommended for the disorder. along with antidepressants if needed.
not everyone uses meds, nor therapy. it would be ideal, but his choice, again.
and things are better, so I can only assume that its been positive for him.
The point I was making is that I did not diagnose him by reading online as you seemed to think. He has been evaluated three times, in total. One of those times he was told he has situational depression. He did not get treatment then either. Its hard to make someone take meds if they do not believe they need to.
It will be his choice, and as I said, since he lives with me, I want to understand all I can about the disorder. It fits perfectly with his symptoms and his lifestyle. I can't do much more than that... its his choice whether he wants to go, but he seems to be working on it. Talk therapy is recommended for the disorder. along with antidepressants if needed.
not everyone uses meds, nor therapy. it would be ideal, but his choice, again.
and things are better, so I can only assume that its been positive for him.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
[QUOTE=dandylion;4890509]About this subject of resistance to therapy......it is such an incredibly difficult hurdle.
I, personally, dandylion, am going to place a majority of blame on our cultural messages!!
There is a long history of attaching stigma to anyone who receives or "needs" psychological help of any kind. It is a label. Yes, we have come a long way in recent decades---but these attitudes still exist. I will stick my neck out further, and say...that it is worse for men than women, in general. Again, I believe this is also for social reasons.
What I have seen, over the years, in my work is....that those who need it the very most--those who could benefit the very most...are those who are the most resistant to it. Dandylion, thank you, for the encouragement to keep pressuring .... I am not forgetting this, trust me. Haven't figured out an effective way of getting him there yet, but its still on the front burner here at home. He would probably really soak it up-but those crappy labels-
I, personally, dandylion, am going to place a majority of blame on our cultural messages!!
There is a long history of attaching stigma to anyone who receives or "needs" psychological help of any kind. It is a label. Yes, we have come a long way in recent decades---but these attitudes still exist. I will stick my neck out further, and say...that it is worse for men than women, in general. Again, I believe this is also for social reasons.
What I have seen, over the years, in my work is....that those who need it the very most--those who could benefit the very most...are those who are the most resistant to it.
Another thing that I have observed: When those who are very resistant are finally in a position that they really have to receive help--through situational conditions---when it wasn't purely voluntary on their part---often embrace it the most!!
Very paradoxical.
Very paradoxical.
Guest
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 2,968
Chic..you are understanding the situation and are being proactive.
This is all so young yet for your son/you, minor weeks in fact and the progress
is already showing with a more positive acceptance by both of you. It
has made peace in your home in such a short time.
In our family, once the diagnosis was accepted and it took many months..years
in fact with all family members understanding rather than criticizing ..well it just
became a family again..my brother was schizophrenic..he became peaceful as then
we also knew how to bring him out to enjoy the family events..he would come and
be awkward...since we knew the problem.. we would mellow and show him respect.
He couldn't help his fate in life..yet he started to trust that we did love him despite
it all. It took his every part of energy to participate and it drained him..yet at the
end of the day..he was happy..yet it took him days to recover..
To me..it is all coming along..I am not a guru on anything to do with the mind..
I was just a sister that watched it unfold and wanted my family as a family.
Hugs
lauren
This is all so young yet for your son/you, minor weeks in fact and the progress
is already showing with a more positive acceptance by both of you. It
has made peace in your home in such a short time.
In our family, once the diagnosis was accepted and it took many months..years
in fact with all family members understanding rather than criticizing ..well it just
became a family again..my brother was schizophrenic..he became peaceful as then
we also knew how to bring him out to enjoy the family events..he would come and
be awkward...since we knew the problem.. we would mellow and show him respect.
He couldn't help his fate in life..yet he started to trust that we did love him despite
it all. It took his every part of energy to participate and it drained him..yet at the
end of the day..he was happy..yet it took him days to recover..
To me..it is all coming along..I am not a guru on anything to do with the mind..
I was just a sister that watched it unfold and wanted my family as a family.
Hugs
lauren
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