christinastar10

Hello,

So my xabf keeps asking to meet with my son and I at the park. I tell him no since that was one of my boundaries I set with him. I told him I don't want to hang out as a family if we are not trying to be a family. He said he understood. But last week he just showed up. I didn't say anything since my son was happy to see him. But today he sent me a email, I'll see at the park on Tuesday. I told him again I don't want to hang out as a family since we are no longer a family. He responded with well we can talk about it on Tuesday. I just got annoyed with him.

Sorry just needed to vent.

Hawkeye13

Go to a different park or do something else Tuesday.

He doesn't have the right to force himself on you.

The choice is yours, not his.

Hang in there christina--you've had a rocky road but are being very strong.

christinastar10

Thank you Hawkeye!

When he said he wanted to talk. I said to myself we have nothing to talk about.

He's basically acting the same way he was a few months ago. It can be frustrating.

FeelingGreat

Hi Christina, would you trust him enough to meet him at the park to check his sobriety, then you go off for a walk or coffee and let your husband have some time with your son?

christinastar10

Hi Feeling great!

No I dont. He's not allowed to see our son unsupervised and I have a court order for that. He is still drinking. He has admitted that to me.

dandylion

Chrisstina....hold those boundaries. If you give an inch...he will take a mile.

There is a saying in AA circles....."Say what you mean;mean what you day; and, don't say it mean".

Pretend that you are working at the DMV.
(that is a joke!)

dandylion

ladyscribbler

Hugs Christina. I am dealing with something like this, albeit indirectly. My son is with my ex's parents for the summer. They have set boundaries that my ex has to be sober to be in their home. So far my ex has not managed to do that. Of course he is accusing all of us of "keeping his son from him."
Stay strong and stick with your boundaries. Sad that he is stalking you like that. Agree with Hawkeye, maybe find another park or someplace else for Tuesday. Sucks that you have to disrupt you and AJ's routine on account of your ex's nonsense, but safety first. You're a great mom with a good head on your shoulders.

FeelingGreat

Hi Christina, in which case I totally agree that he is crossing a heap of boundaries, and if he persists you may have to go back to the court. His behaviour sounds extremely controlling, in that you've said no, and he's ignoring you. As you have a record of the text messages, you have proof and can return to the court for further action.

You shouldn't have to hide from him to get him to stop, either.