He did it again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 41
He did it again.
Looking at my relationship with my ex boyfriend I am so sad about what happened. If you read my previous blog called confused it was about a year and half ago that I posted that. I had written that my boyfriend dumped me after everything he finally got clean and sober and stayed that way for months.
Well I was literally in a deep dark hole of depression from sept to January. He and I kept hanging out and talking but he never wanted to get back together with me. I mean he would say he cared about me but didn't feel that way about me anymore but he just needed to be single at this time. Well he ended up relapsing in December and we got back together in January because I just wanted him back so much. I still really loved him.
Well he went back into rehab in January and came back at the end of February home. I was really happy and excited and we were doing well and then he ended up relapsing again multiple times.
During this time I was using what I learned from al anon to get through all the different relapses. Finally I was fed up and about to break up with him and he decided on his own he was going to go to rehab far away in Virginia. He was there for a month. At the time I started seeing a therapist who specialized in alcoholism. She made me really see what I wanted and if I wanted my relationship with my boyfriend. And in the end I decided I did want to keep trying.
Well he didn't come back home he ended up going to Florida because the rehab suggested he would do better if he went there and had a better chance at staying clean. Well he wasn't suppose to stay there for no more than two months and then he ended saying he wasn't coming back to Pittsburgh. We worked through it and I visited him there 3 different times and it was soo amazing each time. I was working my program and he was working his program. We were actually a real couple finally and really working together. He came to visit for thanksgiving and it was perfect. We had such a great time and I saw how much he had changed. He then came back up for Christmas and New Years and it was fantastic too. We were really happy.
We have been talking about me moving to Florida when I was done with my grad school program which would of been this coming April. We were finally moving along and talking about apartments and areas we wanted to move to. I was just soooo happy with our relationship and my progress in al anon. I have worked through my steps, not all but def a majority of them which made me proud of myself.
Well literally two weeks after he left he called me one day and said he wanted to break up. He said he needed to work on his recovery more and he wasn't in love with me anymore in that way. He said that his feelings have changed and he just doesn't feel that way about me. I was so heart broken. I am still heart broken. I don't know how someone can love you one min and totally ready to move in with you and then the next he doesn't love me anymore and it's over.
He's still clean and sober and living in a half way house still. He once again got all good and clean and dumped me. I see this as his pattern and I think I just need to let him go and just let him be with himself. I mean I'm still very much love him and I do want him back but I've learned through al anon that I can't change anything except myself. I need to just let go and let God. I have been praying and trying to stay strong.
I haven't talked to him in a few days and it's killing me but all I can do is pray. Thanks for reading my story I just wish I could change things but I know I can't.
Well I was literally in a deep dark hole of depression from sept to January. He and I kept hanging out and talking but he never wanted to get back together with me. I mean he would say he cared about me but didn't feel that way about me anymore but he just needed to be single at this time. Well he ended up relapsing in December and we got back together in January because I just wanted him back so much. I still really loved him.
Well he went back into rehab in January and came back at the end of February home. I was really happy and excited and we were doing well and then he ended up relapsing again multiple times.
During this time I was using what I learned from al anon to get through all the different relapses. Finally I was fed up and about to break up with him and he decided on his own he was going to go to rehab far away in Virginia. He was there for a month. At the time I started seeing a therapist who specialized in alcoholism. She made me really see what I wanted and if I wanted my relationship with my boyfriend. And in the end I decided I did want to keep trying.
Well he didn't come back home he ended up going to Florida because the rehab suggested he would do better if he went there and had a better chance at staying clean. Well he wasn't suppose to stay there for no more than two months and then he ended saying he wasn't coming back to Pittsburgh. We worked through it and I visited him there 3 different times and it was soo amazing each time. I was working my program and he was working his program. We were actually a real couple finally and really working together. He came to visit for thanksgiving and it was perfect. We had such a great time and I saw how much he had changed. He then came back up for Christmas and New Years and it was fantastic too. We were really happy.
We have been talking about me moving to Florida when I was done with my grad school program which would of been this coming April. We were finally moving along and talking about apartments and areas we wanted to move to. I was just soooo happy with our relationship and my progress in al anon. I have worked through my steps, not all but def a majority of them which made me proud of myself.
Well literally two weeks after he left he called me one day and said he wanted to break up. He said he needed to work on his recovery more and he wasn't in love with me anymore in that way. He said that his feelings have changed and he just doesn't feel that way about me. I was so heart broken. I am still heart broken. I don't know how someone can love you one min and totally ready to move in with you and then the next he doesn't love me anymore and it's over.
He's still clean and sober and living in a half way house still. He once again got all good and clean and dumped me. I see this as his pattern and I think I just need to let him go and just let him be with himself. I mean I'm still very much love him and I do want him back but I've learned through al anon that I can't change anything except myself. I need to just let go and let God. I have been praying and trying to stay strong.
I haven't talked to him in a few days and it's killing me but all I can do is pray. Thanks for reading my story I just wish I could change things but I know I can't.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 427
Sometimes God removes people from our lives for our own protection. Whether you believe in a higher power or not, if someone wants to walk out of your life, let them.
If he truly wants you in his life and you truly want him in yours, he will work his recovery program and you will let him. A few months of sobriety is nothing in the big picture.
After having been through it all and more with an A in my life, I would say let him go and don't look back. If it's truly meant to be, he will remain sober and work his program and down the road things will come together for the two of you. Until then..live YOUR life.
If he truly wants you in his life and you truly want him in yours, he will work his recovery program and you will let him. A few months of sobriety is nothing in the big picture.
After having been through it all and more with an A in my life, I would say let him go and don't look back. If it's truly meant to be, he will remain sober and work his program and down the road things will come together for the two of you. Until then..live YOUR life.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 565
Originally Posted by MyBetterWorld 
After having been through it all and more with an A in my life, I would say let him go and don't look back. If it's truly meant to be, he will remain sober and work his program and down the road things will come together for the two of you. Until then..live YOUR life.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 41
thank you for all your posts. Yeah it's definitely been hard with the no contact and I miss him a lot. But i know I just need to leave him alone and figure out his own life and figure out my own life. I have the world ahead of me and I have to be grateful for that.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
dump me once, shame on you.
dump me twice, shame on me.
now you know to hold yourself in high enough regard that if you are involved with someone and they END it suddenly and unceremoniously, you are DONE.
dump me twice, shame on me.
now you know to hold yourself in high enough regard that if you are involved with someone and they END it suddenly and unceremoniously, you are DONE.
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