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Old 06-23-2002, 01:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
JT
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Post Codependent checklist-could this be you?

Look over the list and check those things that describe you. Be open and honest enough to allow reflection on your patterns of reacting to life. Most of us have some codependent behavior guiding our responses to life.

1.Think and feel responsible for other people.

2.Feel compelled - almost forced - to help others solve problems, offering advice, suggestions, etc.

3.Anticipate other's needs, even before they ask; wonder why others don't do the same in return.

4.Say yes when I mean no, doing things I really don't want to be doing.

5.Doing more than my fair share of work & doing things other people can do for themselves.

6.Try to please others before seeking to please myself.

7.Feel safest when giving to others and insecure and guilty when others give to me.

8.Feel sad because I spend my whole life giving to others and nobody gives to me.

9.Feel attracted to needy people and attracted to them in dependent ways.

10.Get bored and feel empty when there is not a crisis or a problem to solve or someone to help.

11.Overcommit myself and feel controlled by events and people.

12.Believe deep inside other people are somehow responsible for me.

13.Try to control events & people through helplessness, guilt, coercion, advice, manipulation, etc.

14.Pretend circumstances aren't as bad as they are; "things will be better tomorrow."

15.Stay busy so I don't have to think about things.

16.Get confused, depressed or sick to stop doing things.

17.Become a workaholic.

18.Sometimes think God has abandoned me.

19.Don't feel happy, content or peaceful with myself.

20.Desperately seek love and approval.

21.Equate love with pain and stay in relationships that don't work.

22.Find it difficult to have fun and be spontaneous.

23.Say everything is my fault yet believe nothing is my fault.

24.Spend money compulsively or overeat, abuse drugs or alcohol.

25.Lie to cover up and protect people I love and lie to protect myself.

26.Don't trust myself, my feelings, my decisions or other people.

27.Ask people for what I want and need indirectly - sighing, for example or subtly suggesting.

28.Afraid of my own anger and frightened of other people's anger.

29.Have sex when I would rather be held, nurtured and loved or when I am angry.

30.Extremely responsible, a good martyr, sacrificing my own happiness for others.

31.Don't say what I mean and don't mean what I say. Don't even know what I mean.

32.Can become withdrawn and isolated - afraid of being hurt by others.

33.Give appearance of being depended upon, but are very dependent on others for approval.

The first step toward change is Awareness ; the second step is Acceptance !
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Old 06-23-2002, 02:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Great list JT - I see many items that appy to how I used to be, but sadly, I see a few that still apply. This list is an opportunity for me to identify those and do something about it.

Thank you.
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Old 06-23-2002, 02:33 PM   #3 (permalink)
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<img border="0" alt="[Rat]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/anirat.gif" /> GOOD HEAVEN ABOVE....I fit the entire list...........100%
It must have been written for me...I can anticipate anyones needs in a flash...and so on and so on!
Having a bad day with the A....caught him with a glass of vodka at 10:15 am when he was going to pick up his daughter! I really lost it. He denied that it was Vodka! It was right there in my hand and he looked and it and say no it's not! I said fine, go kill yourself but do not drive your kid...the kid is 15. I am begining to wonder if he is doing drugs too...as he came back acting very weird. Toooooooooo hammered for such a short time. He is getting laryngitis too and wakes up in the middle of the night ..like at four..ANYONE have any info about this one?

I really don't know a thing about drugs...we have never had that problem. I do know he used cocaine with his big time big deal friends once before we married. Never seen any since that one day 12 years ago.
My daughter stopped seeing her A dad when he drove her off the road and scared the lving wits out of her at just about the same age.
I told his daughter today...do not ride with your dad....ask to drive. Think I was wrong?
This whole thing is really getting me nuts. <img border="0" alt="[Jumper]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/ukliam2.gif" />
Love Crazy Kitty <img border="0" alt="[Hey Kitty]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/heykitty.gif" />
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Old 06-23-2002, 05:07 PM   #4 (permalink)
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JT-were you thinking of me when you did that? sounds like me!!!
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Old 07-13-2002, 05:38 AM   #5 (permalink)
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To the top...
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Old 11-01-2002, 04:31 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Old 11-01-2002, 06:43 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I hate it when I fit all the numbers on a list!!!

But I have the Awareness!! Am working on Acceptance!!

Thanks for bringing this up JT!
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Old 11-02-2002, 08:39 AM   #8 (permalink)
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WOW!!!!!
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I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06
The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR
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Old 11-02-2002, 11:05 AM   #9 (permalink)
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oh gawd

Wow jt, some of those really hit me , Well actually they alll did, i can see myself in so many of them,How did i get to be this way?


Thanks jt, i will be going through them again and working on the ones that really apply, all of em i guess.

hugs spin
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Old 11-02-2002, 11:11 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Sighhhh!!! Number 27 - yup that's me, sighhh.

Thanks JT. I needed this right now. Still got some work to do.
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Old 11-02-2002, 11:17 AM   #11 (permalink)
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YOU HAD TO GET ALL THE WAY TO 27?????!!!!

Clearly, I need to work step one again.
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Old 11-02-2002, 11:38 AM   #12 (permalink)
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It's not that I actually GOT to 27, Smoke....it just seemed like an easy one to start .

Like chocolates, I like to pick my favourites first, and leave the maple creams for last.
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Old 11-02-2002, 11:58 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Maple creams? I didn't see maple creams on the list. If there are maple creams involved, I may like being codependent.
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Old 11-02-2002, 12:13 PM   #14 (permalink)
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You can have mine . Canadians are supposed to like anything maple, but ewwww.

Okay, I 'm heading back to the list and going to pick two specific numbers to work on. That's the codependent in me coming out - if I pick two, I can change focus when one starts to hurt. Just kidding.:p I will start at the beginning and work my way down.
Acceptance, Awareness Allrighttttt!!!
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