Damaged, a meeting absolutely IS crucial for you too--you are on the right track! http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
here's a link to help you find one.
If you search this forum for "Alanon", you'll find a ton of references to Alanon from those of us who have indeed found help there. There are some threads dealing specifically with how
people feel it has helped them, too. It may take some searching to locate those, but they are very worthwhile. This is from the stickied threads at the top of the page, to get you started: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ings-like.html
If you can get your hands on any Alanon literature, that will likely be useful too. You can find a lot of choices, very reasonably priced, on Amazon. Your local library may have some of the books also.
Please do check out several meetings--anonymity is taken very seriously and newcomers are welcomed warmly. Everyone there will understand where you are at, and there is absolutely no pressure to speak or do anything you are not comfortable doing. Many folks say that at their first meeting, they just felt a huge weight slide off their shoulders. I hope this happens for you.
Taking care of yourself by checking into Alanon may be one of the most important things you ever do for yourself!