Do we all become anti-social? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Kitty · 06-15-2002, 06:59 PM

Hi all.
Reading some of the posts I see that many say it is hard for them to be social. I am having a real problem with this. I am not going on any drug to be social...that is for sure. However, I USED to be more receptive to being with people. Even family is a struggle for me. I seem to like being ALONE...quiet..by myself....is it all the turmoil of an A relationship? It is really making me think....I just feel anxious when I am with people.
Love Kitty <img border="0" alt="[Hey Kitty]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/heykitty.gif" />

06-15-2002, 07:15 PM

Kitty,
I've been wanting to give you this picture.

<a href="http://www.animatedgif.net/cartoons/flmarky_e0.gif" target="_blank">http://www.animatedgif.net/cartoons/flmarky_e0.gif</a>

I am not anti social with people I see everyday, but I'm too tired and depressed to make friends and go out. No energy what so ever. I think mine started at menopause. I was ok until then.

Energy is the biggest factor with me. Just washing and drying my hair is all I can stand.

Hugs,

MG

Kitty · 06-15-2002, 07:39 PM

MG!
How do I keep that gif and use it?

I know what you mean about the meno thing. I did that early. 7 years ago. I think I am just getting lazy too. So much maintenece of the body these days!

Nothing in my life sparks me. But I work out like crazy, play tennis, take pilates and babysit my Grandaughter...but NOTHING rings my bell <img border="0" alt="[Fight]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/fight.gif" />
I think many times I am just seeing the glass half empty instead of half full. My A does not make me feel any better either...his problems have a strong effect on me.
I hope your anti-d does it for you...it has helped many of my friends to feel much better!!
Love, Kitty <img border="0" alt="[Hey Kitty]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/heykitty.gif" />

**Ann** · 06-15-2002, 08:39 PM

Hi Kitty

I know that when I am struggling with life, I tend to isolate and stay in my "safe zone" which is my house. I used to be very active and see my friends often, even the ones who live in another city, but because of the issues with my son the past few years, I have not been as social. I can't really talk much about what is happening, because it would take 100 years to try to explain addiction and codependency and what it really means, they don't really want to hear all the horror stories, and because that was such a big part of my life, I didn't have much else to talk about with them. I know that they would in their own compassionate way, just say why don't you just forget about him and not see him at all.

I found it hard to get motivated to do "fun" things, and I felt depressed and just wanted to stay quiet and safe. And my high energy level, fell to an all-time low. I was drained.

As I worked my recovery, I learned to "make" myself do at least a few things to get my mind on anything else, and after a while I found that I felt better right after doing those things. So I started to do a little more, and it got better.
I still isolate sometimes, but usually when I really need the peace of being alone. But I make sure that I do some little thing every day to keep me out of my "funk".

This is an exhausting disease, and it drains us physically, emotionally, and mentally. We have to work to get our strength back.

And I take hormones

. It also helps me a lot (seriously). Menopause just made everything 10 times worse, and with hot flashes to boot.

Hugs

06-15-2002, 08:48 PM

Kitty,

You could use the little guy in your signature. You go to my profile and click edit/update profile and then scroll down to the signature box. Copy the address above and put it between
[IMG] [/IMG] in the box. It will then be on all of your posts below. You could write a little saying with it too. Then scroll down and click update profile.

MG

Debbie · 06-16-2002, 02:54 AM

Hi Kitty

I don't think I become anti-social on purpose, its just embarrassing sometimes to have to explain things especially to people who haven't been there. I was never a big social butterfly to begin with even in the good times when when my A was clean. My friends are basically the people I work with and my family and I can honestly say I didn't pull away from them. I think I talked them more this time (the MIA A), then I did when he was clean. Who knows how this all works. I think I am rambling on...lol

I also was flipped out when the doctor gave me an anti-depressant. I thought no way but then I thought if it makes me calmer and less anxious during these crazy situations, then okay.

You take care.
Many hugs.
Love,
Debbie

Kitty · 06-16-2002, 07:48 AM

Thanks Guys!
I am getting out of town for four days...goiing to visit my daughter. Yipeeeee <img border="0" alt="[Devil]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/devil.gif" /> no A for a bit.
MG, I will have to keep trying with the dancing guy,,,,I am a dunce when it comes to some things on the computer!
I hope this trip will perk me up....it will feel good not to have to look at his face. I will try to keep up with the board while I am gone, but I know my daughters computer is very ill

Have a great week !!
Love Kitty <img border="0" alt="[Hey Kitty]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/heykitty.gif" />

06-16-2002, 08:02 AM

Have a great time, Kitty.

We'll see you when you get back,

Hugs,

MG

**Ann** · 06-16-2002, 08:10 AM

Have a great time Kitty...and have some fun.

We'll miss you, but see you soon.

06-15-2002, 06:59 PM	#1 (permalink)
Kitty Paused Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 175	Do we all become anti-social? Hi all. Reading some of the posts I see that many say it is hard for them to be social. I am having a real problem with this. I am not going on any drug to be social...that is for sure. However, I USED to be more receptive to being with people. Even family is a struggle for me. I seem to like being ALONE...quiet..by myself....is it all the turmoil of an A relationship? It is really making me think....I just feel anxious when I am with people. Love Kitty <img border="0" alt="[Hey Kitty]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/heykitty.gif" />

06-15-2002, 08:39 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ann Sharing Our Light Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 15,156	Hi Kitty I know that when I am struggling with life, I tend to isolate and stay in my "safe zone" which is my house. I used to be very active and see my friends often, even the ones who live in another city, but because of the issues with my son the past few years, I have not been as social. I can't really talk much about what is happening, because it would take 100 years to try to explain addiction and codependency and what it really means, they don't really want to hear all the horror stories, and because that was such a big part of my life, I didn't have much else to talk about with them. I know that they would in their own compassionate way, just say why don't you just forget about him and not see him at all. I found it hard to get motivated to do "fun" things, and I felt depressed and just wanted to stay quiet and safe. And my high energy level, fell to an all-time low. I was drained. As I worked my recovery, I learned to "make" myself do at least a few things to get my mind on anything else, and after a while I found that I felt better right after doing those things. So I started to do a little more, and it got better. I still isolate sometimes, but usually when I really need the peace of being alone. But I make sure that I do some little thing every day to keep me out of my "funk". This is an exhausting disease, and it drains us physically, emotionally, and mentally. We have to work to get our strength back. And I take hormones . It also helps me a lot (seriously). Menopause just made everything 10 times worse, and with hot flashes to boot. Hugs __________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~

06-16-2002, 08:10 AM	#9 (permalink)
Ann Sharing Our Light Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 15,156	Have a great time Kitty...and have some fun. We'll miss you, but see you soon. __________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~

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06-15-2002, 07:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
Morning Glory Guest Posts: n/a	Kitty, I've been wanting to give you this picture. <a href="http://www.animatedgif.net/cartoons/flmarky_e0.gif" target="_blank">http://www.animatedgif.net/cartoons/flmarky_e0.gif</a> I am not anti social with people I see everyday, but I'm too tired and depressed to make friends and go out. No energy what so ever. I think mine started at menopause. I was ok until then. Energy is the biggest factor with me. Just washing and drying my hair is all I can stand. Hugs, MG

06-15-2002, 07:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
Kitty Paused Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 175	MG! How do I keep that gif and use it? I know what you mean about the meno thing. I did that early. 7 years ago. I think I am just getting lazy too. So much maintenece of the body these days! Nothing in my life sparks me. But I work out like crazy, play tennis, take pilates and babysit my Grandaughter...but NOTHING rings my bell <img border="0" alt="[Fight]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/fight.gif" /> I think many times I am just seeing the glass half empty instead of half full. My A does not make me feel any better either...his problems have a strong effect on me. I hope your anti-d does it for you...it has helped many of my friends to feel much better!! Love, Kitty <img border="0" alt="[Hey Kitty]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/heykitty.gif" />

06-15-2002, 08:48 PM	#5 (permalink)
Morning Glory Guest Posts: n/a	Kitty, You could use the little guy in your signature. You go to my profile and click edit/update profile and then scroll down to the signature box. Copy the address above and put it between [IMG] [/IMG] in the box. It will then be on all of your posts below. You could write a little saying with it too. Then scroll down and click update profile. MG

06-16-2002, 02:54 AM	#6 (permalink)
Debbie I used to work here ;) Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :) Posts: 2,018	Hi Kitty I don't think I become anti-social on purpose, its just embarrassing sometimes to have to explain things especially to people who haven't been there. I was never a big social butterfly to begin with even in the good times when when my A was clean. My friends are basically the people I work with and my family and I can honestly say I didn't pull away from them. I think I talked them more this time (the MIA A), then I did when he was clean. Who knows how this all works. I think I am rambling on...lol I also was flipped out when the doctor gave me an anti-depressant. I thought no way but then I thought if it makes me calmer and less anxious during these crazy situations, then okay. You take care. Many hugs. Love, Debbie

06-16-2002, 07:48 AM	#7 (permalink)
Kitty Paused Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 175	Thanks Guys! I am getting out of town for four days...goiing to visit my daughter. Yipeeeee <img border="0" alt="[Devil]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/devil.gif" /> no A for a bit. MG, I will have to keep trying with the dancing guy,,,,I am a dunce when it comes to some things on the computer! I hope this trip will perk me up....it will feel good not to have to look at his face. I will try to keep up with the board while I am gone, but I know my daughters computer is very ill Have a great week !! Love Kitty <img border="0" alt="[Hey Kitty]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/heykitty.gif" />

06-16-2002, 08:02 AM	#8 (permalink)
Morning Glory Guest Posts: n/a	Have a great time, Kitty. We'll see you when you get back, Hugs, MG

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