choublak

They don't make anyone happy, so why do we have them?

neferkamichael

Bootom line resentments are a waste of a my time. I struggle with them every day.

OnawaMiniya

Out of pain, a desire to control, jealousy, etc, I guess.

No matter what they are born of, I suppose they can be used to teach one something about themself.

foolsgold66

Standard equipment in all human beings. Contact the manufacturer for complaints or questions.

soberhawk

We care and have a sense and opinion on right and wrong.

LifeRecovery

Honestly for me resentments have been present in my life when I could not identify and/or say what I needed.

I did not think I had a right to my feelings.

For me, much like anger resentments were a sign that something was wrong and I was not taking care of myself.

They got "better" when I started caring for myself. Then I had room to figure out how to be with others a little better.

suki44883

We have resentments because we have expectations. When those expectations aren't met, which many times they are not, it causes resentment. The solution is to not have expectations.

m1k3

I resent not having expectations.

Your friend,

tootsl1

I try to let resentments go, they are such negative feelings, going no where,just bringing me down.

Seren

Thank you, Mike

foolsgold66

My expectation is to have resentments.

Seren

Resentment is an emotion, we don't choose to feel it. Resentment isn't something we go to the store and buy...then wonder why we bought it because we don't like it.

When we feel anger, we don't choose to feel angry. Our choice lies in what we do with that anger.

I think with resentment we have to figure out why we feel it and work to adjust our expectation or the situation in our lives that led to that resentment.

MIRecovery

I resent that you resent not having expectations

m1k3

I expected that.

amy55

I expected my ex to treat me like a person. He didn't, I had resentment.

I had no boundaries, and even without the boundaries, he still crossed them. (lol)

I no longer have expectations, I now have boundaries !!!!!!!

You want to be with you, you better d@mn well treat be like I am a person. (lol)

lillamy

The only function I can figure resentment has is to teach us to NOT DO THAT AGAIN. Sort of like an emotional scar that reminds us that "yeah, the last time I helped my coworker clean his office he didn't appreciate it one but; in fact he was mad at me for a week, the ungrateful bugger..."

suki44883

Expectations = Future resentments. You can laugh about it all you want, but it's the truth.

Resentments come along when someone or something doesn't meet the expectations we held.

nbay2013

I think the emotion of resentment goes deeper than having expectations that are not met. Resentment to me is a wrongdoing, an injustice, being used, lied to, hurt by, another person. I think I will go forward in my life, with the expectation that people should NOT treat me that way. Seems like an optimistic way to view the world to me. The trick is to not carry the resentment to other current and future relationships. I am not with my EX-AB anymore, and I resent that he lied to me. But, it's on me to get over it and let it go. I am a work in progress.

amy55

Expectations leads to resentment.

Of course it does. It still hurts when you expect someone to treat you like you exist, and they don't, and you let it go, and try to laugh it off.

I guess when this comes to really close intimate situations, you do have some expectations.

Expecting a neighbor to help me shovel my driveway because my back hurts, I guess would be an expectation, that could lead to resentment, where I should drop all expectations.

Expectations - that your children would call you on your birthday, yes, maybe drop those expectations also.

I really wasn't laughing about any of it. Guess just accepting that I can expect anything from anyone ever. Best medicine for that is laughter.

suki44883

Well, you expected him not to lie to you. You expected him not to hurt you. You expected him not to use you. It all boils down to expectations.

Yes, it is on you to get past those resentments. The person you resent probably doesn't even realize your resentment. Resentments are poison. To hold onto that resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.