Binge Drinking vs. Daily Drinking
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 407
Binge Drinking vs. Daily Drinking
If I knew how to put this in Poll form I would. Maybe someone who does know could do this.
I have been here for almost two years and read many many posts from others and I have often wondered which would be easier to live with.
My ex is a binge drinker. When he drinks he does nothing else but drink. He would quit working, quit eating, quit everthing and concentrate on his bottle of vodka. He would pass out several times a day. He would disappear and I would wonder if the next call I got would be the cops telling me they had found him dead or arrested. When he wasn't drinking he was really a good guy - kind, considerate, loving, caring. At one point he went 2 years without a drink. His binges all required detoxing and either inpatient or outpatient treatment afterward. He would then be great. I would let my guard down and think that maybe this time things would be OK. I always seemed to be able to maintain my hope for that. Then the next binge . . . . . . . I wanted so much to believe in him and trust him and each binge hurt more than the last one.
I finally had enough as each binge became worse than the last and I just couldn't live like that anymore.
I think that if he had been a daily drinker that perhaps I wouldn't have been able to maintain my hope as long as I did. If I had to live with it on a daily basis it would have just been too much or do you just get "used" to it? But since that wasn't the way at our house I'll never know.
What do you all think? If you had to pick one type of alcoholic to live with (hahaha) which do you think would be the most difficult - the daily drunk or the binge drinker?
Hugs, Jo
I have been here for almost two years and read many many posts from others and I have often wondered which would be easier to live with.
My ex is a binge drinker. When he drinks he does nothing else but drink. He would quit working, quit eating, quit everthing and concentrate on his bottle of vodka. He would pass out several times a day. He would disappear and I would wonder if the next call I got would be the cops telling me they had found him dead or arrested. When he wasn't drinking he was really a good guy - kind, considerate, loving, caring. At one point he went 2 years without a drink. His binges all required detoxing and either inpatient or outpatient treatment afterward. He would then be great. I would let my guard down and think that maybe this time things would be OK. I always seemed to be able to maintain my hope for that. Then the next binge . . . . . . . I wanted so much to believe in him and trust him and each binge hurt more than the last one.
I finally had enough as each binge became worse than the last and I just couldn't live like that anymore.
I think that if he had been a daily drinker that perhaps I wouldn't have been able to maintain my hope as long as I did. If I had to live with it on a daily basis it would have just been too much or do you just get "used" to it? But since that wasn't the way at our house I'll never know.
What do you all think? If you had to pick one type of alcoholic to live with (hahaha) which do you think would be the most difficult - the daily drunk or the binge drinker?
Hugs, Jo
believer
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,023
Hi Jojo,
I grew up with a daily drinker and my husband is a binge user so I have some perspective.
My dad was a functioning alcoholic for 15 years, then he was no longer functioning, lol. His drinking increased over the years as his tolerance grew and in the end he also required detoxing and inpatient treatment to get sober.
My dad's daily drinking meant waking up every day not knowing what you were going to be dealing with that day. But you basically got used to it.
If I had to choose, I would definitely choose the daily drinker. Even having to deal with it every day, there was some predictability to it. Dad went to work, came home, drank until he passed out and did the same thing the next day. It was predictable. Binges are not predictable, they seem to bring more chaos and cause more problems.
I grew up with a daily drinker and my husband is a binge user so I have some perspective.
My dad was a functioning alcoholic for 15 years, then he was no longer functioning, lol. His drinking increased over the years as his tolerance grew and in the end he also required detoxing and inpatient treatment to get sober.
My dad's daily drinking meant waking up every day not knowing what you were going to be dealing with that day. But you basically got used to it.
If I had to choose, I would definitely choose the daily drinker. Even having to deal with it every day, there was some predictability to it. Dad went to work, came home, drank until he passed out and did the same thing the next day. It was predictable. Binges are not predictable, they seem to bring more chaos and cause more problems.
watching the clouds roll away
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: bliss
Posts: 87
Hi jojo,
my ex seems to be both. Sometimes he is a binge drinker sometimes daily. I was always much more able to handle the daily times then the binge ones. Simply because the predictability, like journey was talking about. My whole body reacted to the shock of the things that happened when he was bingeing (spelling?) when he was daily, I just felt disappointment a lot, but the drama wasn't there...the trouble with the law, the disappearing etc that only occurred when he was bingeing. So, hopefully I will never ever have to make this choice but if I did I would definately choose daily.
my ex seems to be both. Sometimes he is a binge drinker sometimes daily. I was always much more able to handle the daily times then the binge ones. Simply because the predictability, like journey was talking about. My whole body reacted to the shock of the things that happened when he was bingeing (spelling?) when he was daily, I just felt disappointment a lot, but the drama wasn't there...the trouble with the law, the disappearing etc that only occurred when he was bingeing. So, hopefully I will never ever have to make this choice but if I did I would definately choose daily.
Caring for the 3 little bears
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Oz
Posts: 509
My AH was a daily drinker for a long time and the past 8 years been a binge drinker. It's hard for me to say. Both are bad. Probably easier to live with the daily drinker for the same reasons everyone else said. With the binge drinker, you go through phases. Eventually they become predictable if it goes on long enough. From what I have read, its alot like abuse. It starts with being scared/sad, then anger/mad, then a honeymoon phase - you know where he apologizes, and believe it will never happen again, this time will be different, this time he will seek more help, all this happens over a few months. Then, WAM... it starts all over again. That has been my life for the past 8 years. But the easiest to live with is without him. He has been out of our home for 17 weeks... no problems... peace... kids seem happier.... a few pity parties occassionally, poor poor me, but everytime I have one, it lasts for a shorter period of time than the time before. So, I am thinking, I may have one or two more pity parties, and then that will be done and I can take one more step towards total freedom!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
jojo, you bring up an interesting question. Binge vs. daily ... hmmm ... I suppose that depends on how much their daily consumption is. If it's to the point that they're getting to the "yak-yak-yak zone" (as I call it when my AH starts a conversation that is one-sided and goes on for 45 minutes!) or the "oohhh baby, baby let me grope you" phase (ick!) then it can be tough to take. I frequently put up with that type of daily phase, particularly when we're on vacation.
However, I have to say that the binges are worse, from my perspective. They've become worse over the years and they last from two to four days. Basically, he's in complete blackout, incoherent, or just passed out (sometimes as much as 20 out of 24 hours). At that point, I just leave the house and go to a meeting, go out with a few friends, go to the library to study, call up some friends, or go upstairs and watch a few DVD's. Fortunately, our pets sense something is up ... the dog generally sleeps with my AH, but the two cats will hang close to me - good companionship.
However, I have to say that the binges are worse, from my perspective. They've become worse over the years and they last from two to four days. Basically, he's in complete blackout, incoherent, or just passed out (sometimes as much as 20 out of 24 hours). At that point, I just leave the house and go to a meeting, go out with a few friends, go to the library to study, call up some friends, or go upstairs and watch a few DVD's. Fortunately, our pets sense something is up ... the dog generally sleeps with my AH, but the two cats will hang close to me - good companionship.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
Interesting answers so far.
My AH would fall under the "binging" title. However, I want to clarify something (from my own perspective) as I saw a previous post I thought was interesting.
Being a binge drinker in my book can vary from drinking every single day for a month to not drinking for months on end before another binge takes place. Still, drinking everyday - I consider them binging as there is always a break that takes place in between the binges. (Make sense?)
Having lived with a binger, I'd have to say that if I had to choose between the daily drinker and the binger - I'd choose the binger.
Yes, there is no predictability. Yes, the times in between binges does give you hope and it's devastating when they binge yet again.
However, I think that it would be overly depressing for me to have to watch a daily drinker destroy their lives on a daily basis with so little hope of having them recover. I know I always hated to be around my AH when he was drinking and there were times he'd ruin a planned activity or event for us because of his drinking. But to live with that on a daily basis, I can't imagine the severity of the loss of hope and the depression that it would cause me.
I'm not saying anything about all of you - I'm saying that for me, that's how I would feel.
On another note, regardless of the type of drinker that your SO is.....well, let's face it, that may factor in as well. Some are happy drunks, some are mean, some are just normal-acting, others are a different way. Still, I would have to pick the binger over the every day drinker. I know I just couldn't handle it.
My AH would fall under the "binging" title. However, I want to clarify something (from my own perspective) as I saw a previous post I thought was interesting.
Being a binge drinker in my book can vary from drinking every single day for a month to not drinking for months on end before another binge takes place. Still, drinking everyday - I consider them binging as there is always a break that takes place in between the binges. (Make sense?)
Having lived with a binger, I'd have to say that if I had to choose between the daily drinker and the binger - I'd choose the binger.
Yes, there is no predictability. Yes, the times in between binges does give you hope and it's devastating when they binge yet again.
However, I think that it would be overly depressing for me to have to watch a daily drinker destroy their lives on a daily basis with so little hope of having them recover. I know I always hated to be around my AH when he was drinking and there were times he'd ruin a planned activity or event for us because of his drinking. But to live with that on a daily basis, I can't imagine the severity of the loss of hope and the depression that it would cause me.
I'm not saying anything about all of you - I'm saying that for me, that's how I would feel.
On another note, regardless of the type of drinker that your SO is.....well, let's face it, that may factor in as well. Some are happy drunks, some are mean, some are just normal-acting, others are a different way. Still, I would have to pick the binger over the every day drinker. I know I just couldn't handle it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 443
Hi there:
I was actually going to start a thread about this: Binge drinking vs. Alcohol dependency--because I think that's what we are really talking about here. The term "alcoholic" is a slippery one, in the sense that it means different things to different people. Some people self-define any type of drinking problem or alcohol abuse as being "alcoholic," while the medical/psychiatric community defines "alcohol abuse" (binge drinking) and dependency as "alcoholism." So, I think it's helpful to be very clear by what we mean not just with the term "alcoholism" but also with "binge drinking"
I am clearly in the "Binge Drinking" camp--however, my binges only last one night, always during a social event, sometimes ending with black-outs and always resulting in hangover's I wouldn't wish on the Koch brothers. (Well, on second thought...) In between these times, I either don't drink at all for days, or if my husband comes home with a 6 pack, my off "switch" seems to work just fine. My Uncle was a more severe binge drinker than this. He would go for periods of time with out drinking and requiring no detox to do so, and then go on a bender for a few days.
However, I think at some point the line between binge drinking and alcoholism gets blurred: If someone is binging for weeks, sometimes months of daily drinking with periods of detox and withdrawals, I'd call it alcohol dependency at that point.
I have a friend who does this periodically--detoxes and stays sober for a while, and then goes back to drinking and stays drinks daily for months. My admittedly non-professional opinion here is that--I think the difference here is the non-dependent binge drinker doesn't have to detox or go through withdrawals to stop.
Here is an article that really found interesting on this subject: Alcoholism Binge Drinking
I'm not suggesting that the options for either type of drinkers should be different--though for some milder cases of binge drinkers, maybe it is. The jury is out on that one for me.
However, I personally do not prescribe to the "alcoholism as disease" concept, or at least, if it is--it shouldn't be "self-diagnosed," because I don't know any other disease that is! I don't know any one that is a "self-diagnosed" diabetic.
What I'm getting at here, is that while it seems that the "recovery" community actively discourages these distinctions, the psychiatric community does make these distinctions: http://www.alcoholcostcalculator.org...about/dsm.html Though, in my further online research, it seems like there might be some movement to merge the two diagnosis, but personally I think that's because the philosophy and culture of A.A dominate the recovery industry to such an extent that it's ideas become the excepted ones despite research or evidence to the contrary.
While sobriety may still be the best and only option for both types of drinkers, I think it's important that we validate everyone's experience with their drinking problem as valid and unique to them, and that is one of the many area's I differ with A.A, (maybe more on that somewhere else.)
Just thought I'd put my two cents in here on the subject.
I was actually going to start a thread about this: Binge drinking vs. Alcohol dependency--because I think that's what we are really talking about here. The term "alcoholic" is a slippery one, in the sense that it means different things to different people. Some people self-define any type of drinking problem or alcohol abuse as being "alcoholic," while the medical/psychiatric community defines "alcohol abuse" (binge drinking) and dependency as "alcoholism." So, I think it's helpful to be very clear by what we mean not just with the term "alcoholism" but also with "binge drinking"
I am clearly in the "Binge Drinking" camp--however, my binges only last one night, always during a social event, sometimes ending with black-outs and always resulting in hangover's I wouldn't wish on the Koch brothers. (Well, on second thought...) In between these times, I either don't drink at all for days, or if my husband comes home with a 6 pack, my off "switch" seems to work just fine. My Uncle was a more severe binge drinker than this. He would go for periods of time with out drinking and requiring no detox to do so, and then go on a bender for a few days.
However, I think at some point the line between binge drinking and alcoholism gets blurred: If someone is binging for weeks, sometimes months of daily drinking with periods of detox and withdrawals, I'd call it alcohol dependency at that point.
I have a friend who does this periodically--detoxes and stays sober for a while, and then goes back to drinking and stays drinks daily for months. My admittedly non-professional opinion here is that--I think the difference here is the non-dependent binge drinker doesn't have to detox or go through withdrawals to stop.
Here is an article that really found interesting on this subject: Alcoholism Binge Drinking
I'm not suggesting that the options for either type of drinkers should be different--though for some milder cases of binge drinkers, maybe it is. The jury is out on that one for me.
However, I personally do not prescribe to the "alcoholism as disease" concept, or at least, if it is--it shouldn't be "self-diagnosed," because I don't know any other disease that is! I don't know any one that is a "self-diagnosed" diabetic.
What I'm getting at here, is that while it seems that the "recovery" community actively discourages these distinctions, the psychiatric community does make these distinctions: http://www.alcoholcostcalculator.org...about/dsm.html Though, in my further online research, it seems like there might be some movement to merge the two diagnosis, but personally I think that's because the philosophy and culture of A.A dominate the recovery industry to such an extent that it's ideas become the excepted ones despite research or evidence to the contrary.
While sobriety may still be the best and only option for both types of drinkers, I think it's important that we validate everyone's experience with their drinking problem as valid and unique to them, and that is one of the many area's I differ with A.A, (maybe more on that somewhere else.)
Just thought I'd put my two cents in here on the subject.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
Either way the sober person walks on eggshells, what kind of life is that? A crappy one!
I think binging is worse simply because there is more of a roller-coaster. Roller-coasters create more trauma (dissecting that simple thing alone with no other variables).
Living with a daily drunk I didn't have to wonder whether he would drink that day or not, I knew he would. Crappy consistancy...but consistancy.
And on that note...the days he didn't drink were WORSE because I knew he was testing himself to see if he could forgo...and I knew he WANTED a drink and was denying himself...there was an unspoken tension you could cut with a knife....
I think binging is worse simply because there is more of a roller-coaster. Roller-coasters create more trauma (dissecting that simple thing alone with no other variables).
Living with a daily drunk I didn't have to wonder whether he would drink that day or not, I knew he would. Crappy consistancy...but consistancy.
And on that note...the days he didn't drink were WORSE because I knew he was testing himself to see if he could forgo...and I knew he WANTED a drink and was denying himself...there was an unspoken tension you could cut with a knife....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
ABF is a daily drinker. Goes to work sober, very thoughtful and caring. Pays bills, doesn't drive drunk. Sweet, Happy, fun, loving drunk (except 1 out of 20 times.) No idea what will cause him to 'turn' 1/20 times. Could be anything.
I always feel like THAT is a rollercoaster ride. The bingers seems like an even bigger rollercoaster, but either way, the fun of it all stopped for the rest of us after the first hill drop.
I always feel like THAT is a rollercoaster ride. The bingers seems like an even bigger rollercoaster, but either way, the fun of it all stopped for the rest of us after the first hill drop.
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