Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > Friends and Family > Friends and Family of Alcoholics
Forgot Password? Join Us!
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read Chat Room [5]


Welcome to the Sober Recovery Community

Already registered? Login above ---^
OR
To take advantage of all Posting, Chatting, Gaming, and all the features available at SoberRecovery, join the over 100,000 current members, and become a member of our supportive community today! Ads will no longer appear on the forums, once you register.



Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-22-2012, 10:40 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: tennessee
Posts: 30
can't have relationships?

I keep reading about alcoholics lying, not being able to keep promises, etc. And I've found this to be the case with my friend (who for whatever crazy reason I still hope for a relationship with if she ever gets sober). Anyhow, why then does she keep running back to the guy she's been with for 2 years, even though he has been verbally abusive to her (I've heard this on multiple occasions while on the phone with her), she's been arrested with him for Domestic Violence, her parents can't stand him, he's an active addict or alcoholic, and he has no job and little or no money. For that matter, what keeps any woman in an abusive relationship?
scopikaz is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-22-2012, 10:47 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: md
Posts: 208
Could be Stockholm syndrome or she is hoping he will change. Could be from a life long pattern of abuse so she feels comfortable in what feels familiar.
sparklingeyes is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to sparklingeyes For This Useful Post:
kudzujean (08-23-2012), scopikaz (08-23-2012)
Old 08-22-2012, 10:59 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Tuffgirl's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Blog Entries: 3
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tionships.html ("Why Women Stay in Bad Relationships")

Here's two good articles on this very subject.

But each person's reasons are different...I have wondered if I was addicted to the drama myself, not in a good way but in the comfortably miserable way. It took a while after the drama ended to find comfort in serenity.
__________________
Make Mistakes! If you make mistakes, it means you are out there doing something. Neil Gaiman
Tuffgirl is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Tuffgirl For This Useful Post:
scopikaz (08-23-2012)
Old 08-22-2012, 11:11 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
ZiggyB's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: SAN FRANCISCO
Posts: 1,176
could be lots of things...

low self esteem, fear of being alone

Although I speak from experience that these guys can be highly manipulative. They will deny the abuse, say that you caused it, play the victim role and get you to feel sorry for them, claim that you are ones abusing them when you try to defend yourself. Sometimes they can be very charming and loving as well, it's like they have a duel personality. Very loving or very cruel. They make you doubt yourself and your own feelings about the abuse.
ZiggyB is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ZiggyB For This Useful Post:
scopikaz (08-23-2012)
Old 08-22-2012, 03:36 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 329
Well....I have asked myself this question concerning my XABF too. I have posted a little bit about my situtation but the story is too long and painful to tell. I put my XABF thru rehab and he met another women while he was in there. They are both alcoholics and it's been horrible the last 2-3 years....HORRIBLE! On and off again! I would ALLOW him back in my life thinking they'd finally be done...nope...he would disappear and the cycle would start over again. I don't get it but I am told that they have someone that allows them to behave and do what they want....which is drink! Someone that looks worse than they do, someone they feel they deserve....Trust me this I know .....you can't change it!
Shadydeal is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Shadydeal For This Useful Post:
scopikaz (08-23-2012), ZiggyB (08-22-2012)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:05 AM.


 
National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Centers
 
Drug Rehab | Best Treatment Center | Detox Center | Residential Treatment Center
Cocaine/Crack Treatment | Alcohol Rehab | Heroin/Oxycontin Treatment Center | Crystal Meth Treatment | Marijuana Treatment | Methadone Treatment | Suboxone Treatment
 
Local Treatment Resources and Events
 
Alabama | Alaska | Arizona | Arkansas | California | Colorado | Connecticut | DC | Delaware
Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas | Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine
Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi | Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire
New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota | Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania | Rhode Island
South Carolina | South Dakota | Tennesee | Texas | Utah | Vermont | Virginia | Washington | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming

© 2013 Internet Brands. | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Health Disclaimer
A proud member of the SoberRecovery® Network of Addiction and Recovery Websites