My Alcoholic Husband Filed for Divorce
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: RI
Posts: 177
Originally Posted by duqld1717 
Sotrue-there really is no rationalizing with an A...they are mentally ill so does it matter why they contradict themselves constantly? Its just symptoms of the disease. Would you ask a person with the flu, why do you have the chills and the aches? The fact that he is filing for divorce is a good thing for YOU. Now you are free to find someone who has the capability to be a rational human being.
Also, he says you wouldn't be getting a divorce if you would have done what he wanted??? What about what you wanted? Since when did you want someone who revolves their life around alcohol. I'm sure that's not what you bargained for either.
Also, he says you wouldn't be getting a divorce if you would have done what he wanted??? What about what you wanted? Since when did you want someone who revolves their life around alcohol. I'm sure that's not what you bargained for either.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Rock Island, IL
Posts: 5
Thanks PurpleSquirrel for your insight...I would have never looked at the letter in that way! But now I can see that you are right- the letter is just him whining about himself basically. Your story is very encouraging for me!
THere are many tough days up ahead for me and I know it, but I also know that I'll survive somehow. There won't be a custody battle because we don't have any young children. I'm hoping and praying that the judge won't let my AH leave me with very little to get by on- which I know he'll do. I'm not looking forward to being forced to leave my home but I think that's what will happen. My Atty. is going to press for enough alimony to see me through 2-3 years of college so that I can get a degree and be able to make a living for myself.
My AH says that he is doing all this for his own self-preservation...isn't that funny?
THere are many tough days up ahead for me and I know it, but I also know that I'll survive somehow. There won't be a custody battle because we don't have any young children. I'm hoping and praying that the judge won't let my AH leave me with very little to get by on- which I know he'll do. I'm not looking forward to being forced to leave my home but I think that's what will happen. My Atty. is going to press for enough alimony to see me through 2-3 years of college so that I can get a degree and be able to make a living for myself.
My AH says that he is doing all this for his own self-preservation...isn't that funny?
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Bay Area - Northern California
Posts: 69
Ditto on what Shellcrusher said.
I don't have experience in this area but had a thought come to mind.
What if you called his bluff, kicked him to the curb and told him that if he wants anything to do with you and the children to call you when he has a year of sobriety under his belt?
I'm not suggesting you do this as I am not qualified to give advice. I can't help but wonder what he'd do though.
Best of luck to you...
I don't have experience in this area but had a thought come to mind.
What if you called his bluff, kicked him to the curb and told him that if he wants anything to do with you and the children to call you when he has a year of sobriety under his belt?
I'm not suggesting you do this as I am not qualified to give advice. I can't help but wonder what he'd do though.
Best of luck to you...
Originally Posted by Shellcrusher
Hello and welcome to SR. I'm happy you found us but sad you had to.
You have some tough circumstances to work through.
dollydo brought up a good point and I'd modify it a bit.
Your first responsibility is you. Your child come second. If you're not healthy, they can't be. This is how I see it at least.
You have some tough circumstances to work through.
dollydo brought up a good point and I'd modify it a bit.
Your first responsibility is you. Your child come second. If you're not healthy, they can't be. This is how I see it at least.
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: where the streets have no name
Posts: 1,078
Originally Posted by lillamy
I didn't even get to the next sentence.
That one in itself made me go "Danger, Will Robinson!" and think of polite ways to say "RUN!!!!!"
My A told me that if I gave him oral sex every day he would stop drinking.
Sorry if that sounds harsh but that's sort of my hard-earned opinion...
That one in itself made me go "Danger, Will Robinson!" and think of polite ways to say "RUN!!!!!"
My A told me that if I gave him oral sex every day he would stop drinking.
Sorry if that sounds harsh but that's sort of my hard-earned opinion...
I am sure you intended no pun.
There is NO RHYME OR REASON to his thinking so don't let it cloud yours.
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