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Old 06-13-2010, 07:44 AM   #1 (permalink)
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How to get help when you have no money?

What are ways of getting help when you have no money? We are totally broke and going to counseling is going to run us even more dry. But going without help isn't good either. Alanon and AA are free, but feel like I need more than that. Uggg. Frustrated, because I need to be working on things and dh does too, but the money is stressing me out and making me depressed too. Last year we saw a counselor that was totally unhelpful and wasted tons of money on her. I kept thinking it was going to get better with her and then it didn't. THis year, I found a counselor that I like, but dh wants one as well and we are just feeling the crunch of the money, but know that we need it. Is there any other way to get help???? I'm a book reader, so get a ton of info. that way, but dh isn't. There is only so much you should/can do on your own though, ya know.
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Old 06-13-2010, 07:55 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi PH, do go to church at all? Lots of compassionate people there, free! I also have no money, totally broke, I go to church, H used to go but not anymore, right now he is in denial and hasnt seeked any help! So I am trying to keep us together and our kids, he is good to us, as I have nowhere to go (and dont really want to leave either). I am unemployed, he works for himself, so that is tough, doesnt always bring in enough. I hope you find someone soon. (((HUGS)))
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Old 06-13-2010, 08:00 AM   #3 (permalink)
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With this economy... it's tight everywhere.

I also had a fabulous counselor faith based and specialized in addiction... but I just couldn't afford to continue...

SR, (used) books and meetings... that's what works for me.
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Old 06-13-2010, 08:01 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Yes, I do go to church, but need more direct help. I guess I need to really concentrate on going to alanon.
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Old 06-13-2010, 08:06 AM   #5 (permalink)
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You might try checking resources at Community Mental Health centers/drug rehab centers, there are very inexpensive resources out there, sometimes you get lucky.

Probably one of the best therapists I ever had worked at a methadone clinic! Sessions were only $25, a bargain even back in the late 80's.

As he explained it, their funding was based on the number of clients they saw, unfortunately the majority of the patients at the clinic didn't utilize the counseling services.

Fantastic, he was a recovering alcoholic, an adult child of alcoholic parents, I even got to see him at meetings, though we rarely sat at the same table.
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Old 06-13-2010, 08:06 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Does counseling really work anyway? I've been to a bunch of counselors in my life and I found more help from books and from others and just dealing with things that way. Counselors usually just aren't that helpful. I realized that I was going to the last couple of counselors with the goal to decide what to do. They can try to help me sort that out, but they can't give me the answer, I have to figure that out on my own. I'm my worst enemy. Other counselors just listened and gave no advice and I might as well have talked to a friend. My dh and I have been to counseling where we've argued through the sessiona dn the counselor did nothing to help us through it, but just let us get everything out and 10 sessions later, we were arguing about the same stuff and they wouldn't intervene at all. Totally pointless. Books help me out a lot. I think change is made by identifying the problem and then doing the work consistently to fix the problem. We often need help itentifying and admitting the problem though.
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Old 06-13-2010, 08:09 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Does counseling really work anyway? We often need help itentifying and admitting the problem though.

Thing is, you can share with a counselor things that you could never share at any meetings, not appropriate.

Have found that unloading to someone can be very cathartic.
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Old 06-13-2010, 08:21 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I don't have funds or insurance for counseling.

I have been helped by a friend who works as a social worker, but mostly Alanon meetings, SR and self-help books.
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Old 06-13-2010, 11:15 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Do you work? Most companies have an EAP Emplyee assistance program, they can set you up with about 5 free sessions. If your low income look in the blue pages of your phone book. Keep calling till you get some help. You can get adult insurnace thru Chip like for kids at a low cost depending on how much you make. hey I would even call welfare. Good luck keep trying
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Old 06-13-2010, 11:24 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Check out the Salvation Army. Not only do they have an EXCELLENT rehab program, but they also have counseling services for the families. All FREE.

Hope that helps.

Love and hugs,
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Old 06-13-2010, 11:30 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Yes, I do go to church, but need more direct help. I guess I need to really concentrate on going to alanon.
There have been times I was frustrated about help due to lack of funds. That's when I dug even harder into the resources that were available, including Alanon.

I don't know what your income situation is, but I know my mental health center works on a sliding scale for those who don't have health insurance.

Back before I changed the type of health insurance I had, and counseling wasn't covered, I was only charged $5 a session.
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Old 06-13-2010, 11:32 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Hi PH,

Perhaps talk to your counselor / therapist about two options:

1.) sliding his/her scale (some will do that), or

2.) paying in "chunks" or on a monthly basis. I do this with my therapist because I cannot afford to pay him at each session; I pay him monthly.

Maybe talk to your therapist about what options are out there for you...
wishing you hugs and good thoughts.
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Old 06-13-2010, 11:35 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I second Sailor John on the unloading thing...therapy can be very helpful in the sense that you can talk about things that you would never talk about anywhere else--IF you choose to do it! It took me a long time to get comfortable with my therapist to the point where I can talk about anything, but I got there, and in my experience, I've found therapy the most helpful outlet for me. It also helps to have a therapist that you feel comfortable with (imperative and essential to the process, I think).
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Old 06-13-2010, 11:38 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I've seen four different therapists in my adult life. I never went back to the first one after the first visit because I was in denial. I couldn't afford his fees and that made it easy to stay in denial. I went a few years to the 2nd one and the fee was on a sliding scale because it was a United Way agency. My 3rd was for a very specific issue and ended when she broached issues I didn't want to deal with. I've been seeing my current therapist for over 2 years now and it's a match made in heaven. He insists that I utilize Alanon, and because of it, I'm down to one visit per month with him. Sometimes I don't see him for two months.

When I first met him, I said "these are my issues and I want resolution. How will you help me achieve that?" It was like a job interview.

What I've learned is that not all therapists use the same techniques. Some are all about talk therapy and that's good when you need to get stuff out of your system, but it's easy to get stuck there if you don't have a plan.

I've also learned that if I want advice and suggestions, I have to ask for it. If a therapist is unable to give me that, then I need a different one.
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Old 06-13-2010, 04:31 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Have either of you worked the Steps with a sponsor?

That's free.
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Old 06-13-2010, 06:47 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Try the mental health center, and as already said, the Salvos have a counseling service.
over here we have Centacare which is run by the Catholic church, Anglicare for the Anglican church and Drug and Alcohol counselors for addicts and families, run by Government.

I would be surprised if St Vincent de Paul didn't have a counseling service also.

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Old 06-13-2010, 07:23 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Hello - I didn't read all of the responses, so forgive me if this has been said.

I went through the county mental health, and my therapy was $3 a session.

I also saw on a church's website, that they offer FREE counseling, but a licensed therapist.

Those are my two options, and I'm sure there are a million more other resources.
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Old 06-16-2010, 10:53 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Some places have sliding fee scales that go based off what your income is. If you don't make a lot or you have family, a lot of times, you're not responsible for paying.

Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator
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Old 06-16-2010, 11:16 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Looking at the Salvation Army site, I don't see anything listed for family counseling.
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Old 06-16-2010, 11:37 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Yes, I do go to church, but need more direct help.
Have you talked to your pastor? Lots of churches have FREE resources. Of course first you have to ask for help.

Quote:
I guess I need to really concentrate on going to alanon.
Yes you do. Have you tried it yet?

People have given you so many suggestions. But you are the one who has to do the work necessary to feel better. That's the hard part. At some point we have to take ownership of our problems and actually do something about them. It's hard though. I understand.

Sometimes it's much easier just to do nothing and then wonder why nothing gets better. Its about actions not words. Sometimes I think I am addicted to being miserable. It's just easier that way. It gives me something to complain about. It doesn't take a lot of effort to be miserable. But it takes a lot of effort to improve my situation.
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