I'm not surprised...but I had hoped for better... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

HanahGoodness · 11-21-2009, 06:30 PM

After 2 months of what I thought were sober months for my husband, I find him drinking again this morning. He lied to me, and I think he still has been lying for the past 2 months. My goal now is to just get the money together to go back to my lawyer and be really done. I am stronger now than I was before, and I see that he really isn't going to change. I don't want to waste anymore precious time waiting for him to get better.

Please just give me the fortitude to get through the next couple of weeks with holidays and such as I gather my funds for this next step in my life!

honoryourself · 11-21-2009, 06:42 PM

Good luck Hanah, I am sort of where you are. I have been slowly moving towards making things final. I need money and support and I don't want to have to move out of my house but I doubt my AH will leave if we separate, and that's a requirement.

I find it VERY depressing to have the holidays around the corner, and divorce on the horizon. I never expected to be alone again over christmas, but thank God for family and friends.

I was driving to the store today and I noticed all these couples out doing their errands and christmas shopping and thanksgiving prep together, and I got this warm feeling of togetherness, mutual support, respect and love. Then I thought about doing these things with my H and all I felt was emptiness, irritation, disappointement, bargaining, drinking, and sadness... It kind of helped push me in the right direction, like.. you'll probably never have that with your AH, time to move on if you want more from life. And I do! I want Joy!

So keep that in mind as you move forwards, and best of luck.

HanahGoodness · 11-22-2009, 10:22 AM

Wow! You are exactly where I am! It sounds like you have family support as well.

I don't want to leave my house, so I co-exist trying to make it work right now. Good luck.

whereisthisgoin · 11-22-2009, 04:56 PM

My ah told me today because he drank more than he should and he's going to keep drinking like this because he likes it.

I believe him.

Feeling stronger - changes are coming.

Carol Star · 11-22-2009, 07:35 PM

I look back and can see at least what I learned....boundaries.....how to break patterns....a holiday is just a day...I will be grateful I am living in the solution instead of the problem,out of the chaos,crazies,ick,and lies and not worrying about what is going to happen next. New happy holiday memories.....!

MeHandle · 11-22-2009, 10:46 PM

Hanahgoodness,

I understand.......... and it is okay.

Your are probably right about the last 2 months.

Wolfchild · 11-23-2009, 06:23 AM

4U

11-21-2009, 06:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
HanahGoodness Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Orange County, CA Posts: 74 Blog Entries: 1	I'm not surprised...but I had hoped for better... After 2 months of what I thought were sober months for my husband, I find him drinking again this morning. He lied to me, and I think he still has been lying for the past 2 months. My goal now is to just get the money together to go back to my lawyer and be really done. I am stronger now than I was before, and I see that he really isn't going to change. I don't want to waste anymore precious time waiting for him to get better. Please just give me the fortitude to get through the next couple of weeks with holidays and such as I gather my funds for this next step in my life!

11-22-2009, 04:56 PM	#4 (permalink)
whereisthisgoin Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 275	My ah told me today because he drank more than he should and he's going to keep drinking like this because he likes it. I believe him. Feeling stronger - changes are coming. __________________ A heart should be drawn with shaky lines. Love and trepidation at the same time. Yes, a heart should be drawn with shaky lines. --whereisthisgoin

11-23-2009, 06:23 AM	#7 (permalink)
Wolfchild Disposable Hero Tournaments Won: 3 Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Being, ME Posts: 3,758 Blog Entries: 3	4U __________________ Any clean addict is a miracle and keeping the miracle alive is an ongoing process of awareness, surrender, and growth

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

11-21-2009, 06:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
honoryourself Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: east siiiide Posts: 254	Good luck Hanah, I am sort of where you are. I have been slowly moving towards making things final. I need money and support and I don't want to have to move out of my house but I doubt my AH will leave if we separate, and that's a requirement. I find it VERY depressing to have the holidays around the corner, and divorce on the horizon. I never expected to be alone again over christmas, but thank God for family and friends. I was driving to the store today and I noticed all these couples out doing their errands and christmas shopping and thanksgiving prep together, and I got this warm feeling of togetherness, mutual support, respect and love. Then I thought about doing these things with my H and all I felt was emptiness, irritation, disappointement, bargaining, drinking, and sadness... It kind of helped push me in the right direction, like.. you'll probably never have that with your AH, time to move on if you want more from life. And I do! I want Joy! So keep that in mind as you move forwards, and best of luck.

11-22-2009, 10:22 AM	#3 (permalink)
HanahGoodness Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Orange County, CA Posts: 74 Blog Entries: 1	Wow! You are exactly where I am! It sounds like you have family support as well. I don't want to leave my house, so I co-exist trying to make it work right now. Good luck.

11-22-2009, 07:35 PM	#5 (permalink)
Carol Star Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 958	I look back and can see at least what I learned....boundaries.....how to break patterns....a holiday is just a day...I will be grateful I am living in the solution instead of the problem,out of the chaos,crazies,ick,and lies and not worrying about what is going to happen next. New happy holiday memories.....!

11-22-2009, 10:46 PM	#6 (permalink)
MeHandle 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 love Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: IL Posts: 436	Hanahgoodness, I understand.......... and it is okay. Your are probably right about the last 2 months.

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)