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Old 11-07-2009, 10:43 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Ringer Turned Off

Hello all! I have decided that the ringer on my phone will be permanently turned off. I can check it throughout the day and decide if I want to return the phone calls to the people who call me throughout the day/night. It's a lot easier to not answer calls when I don't know certain people that I don't need to be talking to are calling. For instance, last night before I went to bed I checked my phone and I had 3 calls from the A XBF from 10PM-10:30PM....all went to vm and I had no clue he was calling me....because the ringer on my phone was off. I proceeded to check voice-mail and delete. He must have been pretty out of it, b/c on all 3 voice-mails it was just him...breathing heavy. Probably passed out drunk yet again, holding onto his phone for dear life, and hitting the speeddial button he has my contact information saved under by accident as he was sleeping it off. He did this all the time when we were still together. Now, he wouldn't run into this issue if he would just do what a normal healthy person would do, which would be to delete my contact information from his phone, like I did his over a year ago. The minute I saw his phone # (unfortunatley I know it when I see it) show up on my call log...I deleted it ...as I do every time he calls so that I won't accidentally call him back. The last 6 weeks of his texts and calls are yet another reminder that he is not a sane, rational, healthy person. The universe keeps sending me these reminders of how messed up he really is, and I completey thank my HP for that! Just needed to get my thoughts out in the open. Hope all of you are having a blessed day!
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Old 11-07-2009, 10:46 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I used to do that same thing and it helped so much! I slept a LOT better at night. Hope you have a great day, too!
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Old 11-07-2009, 10:59 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I deleted his info out of my phone awhile ago. Really I did it initially because I was so upset with him.
Just a couple of weeks ago I blocked him from facebook...but finally because I just wanted to REALLY start to heal myself. And even seeing his picture caused me SO MUCH pain.
He doesn't contact me; he certainly doesn't seem to care that i'm no longer in his life.

And right now i'm just trying to get past that sick twisted part of me that wishes he would just send ONE text or call asking how I am as "proof" that he still thinks of me. I can't wait until I get to that point where I truly don't care.
The blocking and no contact thing was the best thing I could do for myself at this point.
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Old 11-07-2009, 01:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
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i'm with you, cnmc2c-

all phone ringers turned off. check.
caller id install. check.
answering service. check.
flashing landline phone. check

i've developed my own phone system, in response to drunken calls at late hours from xABF.

i bought an old landline phone that has flashing red lights when someone calls, which i turned the ringer off on.

the flashing red lights signal someone is calling, although i don't hear anything. i can then check my other cordless phone, which has caller id.

i know this sounds complicated, but it gives me a live phone during the night, but no ringing and if i'm awake, i can see it flash at my desk, check caller id and make a decision whether to answer it or not.

before i got the flashing landline phone, i used to pull my phone at night because xABF likes to call me when i'm sleeping. i was uncomfortalbe not having a live phone and the incessant ringing disturbed my peace.
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