Confused - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

nothappy · 11-03-2009, 08:50 PM

AH was sober for awhile but has spent the last year falling back into the bottle and insanity. He's still functioning at work but at home he's very unpleasant to be around. One of his partners wants us to meet for dinner and "drinks" this weekend. I'm confused. I don't know if I should refuse to go to the dinner, leave if AH drinks or what. Usually he drinks secretly and I just know because of his mean and off the wall behavior, the way he smells, the empty bottles, etc. Years ago, I left and refused to come back until he promised to get sober. He did get sober. I didn't have a plan for what to do if he didn't stay sober. I've told him what I've been seeing over the past year and he's ignored me. This last week his behavior has been especially bad. I confronted him about it today and he ignored me. This dinner invitation couldn't have worse timing. Not showing up would be bad form. Leaving even worse. I didn't go to the company picnic this Summer because I refused to go pretend everything was fine when we weren't even speaking to each other at the time. I don't know if that was the right thing to do. I don't know what to do now. I'm not new to this but I'm starting over and feeling completely overwhelmed. No need for an ultimatum. I don't make them. I just go when I can't take it anymore. I'm leaving next month anyway and will only see AH on weekends for the following 4 months. I'll be away with our children because they're competetive atheletes. Something that evolved, in part, out of our need to be away from AH in the past. I wasn't this tough a person when I met AH. I'm not really that tough now. I'm just trying to make a good life for my boys and I. I wish things could be better with AH, they are sometimes, but I don't have any control over that.

sailorjohn · 11-03-2009, 08:54 PM

Welcome!!!

***Pelican*** · 11-03-2009, 09:06 PM

Welcome to the Sober Recovery family!

You have found an awesome source of information and support here at SR. Pull out your keyboard and make yourself at home.

I'm sorry that your husband has picked back up.

nothappy · 11-04-2009, 08:45 AM

I just answered my own question by answering someone else's post. I will do whatever feels best to me at the time. Not for anyone but me.

11-03-2009, 08:50 PM	#1 (permalink)
nothappy Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 63	Confused AH was sober for awhile but has spent the last year falling back into the bottle and insanity. He's still functioning at work but at home he's very unpleasant to be around. One of his partners wants us to meet for dinner and "drinks" this weekend. I'm confused. I don't know if I should refuse to go to the dinner, leave if AH drinks or what. Usually he drinks secretly and I just know because of his mean and off the wall behavior, the way he smells, the empty bottles, etc. Years ago, I left and refused to come back until he promised to get sober. He did get sober. I didn't have a plan for what to do if he didn't stay sober. I've told him what I've been seeing over the past year and he's ignored me. This last week his behavior has been especially bad. I confronted him about it today and he ignored me. This dinner invitation couldn't have worse timing. Not showing up would be bad form. Leaving even worse. I didn't go to the company picnic this Summer because I refused to go pretend everything was fine when we weren't even speaking to each other at the time. I don't know if that was the right thing to do. I don't know what to do now. I'm not new to this but I'm starting over and feeling completely overwhelmed. No need for an ultimatum. I don't make them. I just go when I can't take it anymore. I'm leaving next month anyway and will only see AH on weekends for the following 4 months. I'll be away with our children because they're competetive atheletes. Something that evolved, in part, out of our need to be away from AH in the past. I wasn't this tough a person when I met AH. I'm not really that tough now. I'm just trying to make a good life for my boys and I. I wish things could be better with AH, they are sometimes, but I don't have any control over that.

11-03-2009, 08:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
sailorjohn Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Baghdad Posts: 2,828	Welcome!!! __________________ Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.

11-03-2009, 09:06 PM	#3 (permalink)
*Pelican* peaceful seabird Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: floating Posts: 3,650	Welcome to the Sober Recovery family! You have found an awesome source of information and support here at SR. Pull out your keyboard and make yourself at home. I'm sorry that your husband has picked back up. __________________ "How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." Trina Paulus Hope for the Flowers

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11-04-2009, 08:45 AM	#4 (permalink)
nothappy Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 63	I just answered my own question by answering someone else's post. I will do whatever feels best to me at the time. Not for anyone but me.

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