If I'm not supposed to pay his bills what do I do about crt fees?

[whyamistaying]

I'm so grateful for this site. I really am. Thank you.

[LaTeeDa]

My first thought when I saw the comment about going to AA was "OMG, now she's going to see first hand that alcoholics can and do recover, and it's going to make her cling even more tightly to the idea that she can somehow make her AH to see the light."

But I do not know what your path is. Maybe going to AA will make letting go harder. Maybe you will see what real recovery for A's looks like and realize just how far from that your AH is. Maybe that will make letting go easier. Who knows?

You have to do what you have to do. I hope your path will lead you to a happier, more serene, fulfilling life, not to further pain and misery. But, it's your path to follow, not mine. ((()))

L

[whyamistaying]

I see your point. Maybe a red herring and I should focus back on me. I consulted with someone today.

[Daisy30]

I am inspired, moved to tears sometimes by the stories of alcoholics who have recovered (my own father for one!) but it is a short hop from there to thinking about my brothers and their struggles and their repeatedly going to the lowest possible places due to alcohol....and then I get "hopeful" or excited that there is hope for them and then....before I know it time has gone by, maybe hours, maybe weeks, nothing has changed and I feel depressed because my fantasies of their recovery all go down in my mind.

So, again, there is nothing wrong with feeling hopeful - but for me - because of my old codie habits of mind - that can quickly translate into an expectation, and a whole lot of wasted time and emotion on other people's problems. Energy better spent paying attention to my own problems and hammering out a real plan to change my own self, my own life.

Thanks B! I needed to hear that tonight.

[whyamistaying]

I wonder if maybe God is talking to me. Every week a new crisis. To wake me up so I can't get a breather? Maybe that is his answer?

Tonight AH decided to sleep at work so he wouldn't have to ride his bike to work and the owner of the company walked in on him drinking. Asked him what he was doing there. He said sleeping. The boss said no and drove AH home. AH was wasted and told his boss everything and his boss drove him home. The boss wants to talk to him first thing tomorrow morning.

Every week. Progressive disease. There isn't much time to think and contemplate because things just keep getting worse and worse.

[Daisy30]

I know God always gives me just what I need

And just when you think things can't get any worse......the bottom drops out