Advice - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

CNMC2C · 10-21-2009, 08:52 AM

Hello all,
Need advice. I have a friend whose daughter is an alcoholic. My friend called me this morning and told me that her daughter has relapsed again. My friend is devastated, as she has paid for her daughter to go to rehab several times and the daughter has ended up relapsing each time. My friend asked me about Al-Anon and I explained how the program works and sent her the web address. I offered to go with her to her first meeting if she wanted me to. Is this overstepping? I think that the correct way to handle this is just to step away from it now and stay out of it. If she ask me to go with her to a meeting I will, but now I'm wondering if I'm breaking Al-Anon's privacy rule? Is it ok to go to a meeting with someone you know who has never been? I don't want my codepedancy issues to come into play here and just thought that posting on here could help me stay on track of keeping my side of the street clean. Thanks in advance for any advice that is provided to me. Take Care.

Cowgirl1265 · 10-21-2009, 09:44 AM

I think your instinct to step back is a good instinct. You are wise to recognize how the desire to 'help' might play out with your own recovery issues.

NewMe11109 · 10-21-2009, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CNMC2C

I offered to go with her to her first meeting if she wanted me to. Is this overstepping? I think that the correct way to handle this is just to step away from it now and stay out of it.

I think it would be ok for you to help her to her first meeting, but then to step away as you suggest. She may need a good friend to help her through this first step, but then it probably is better for her to develop her own support structure in AlAnon.

***Pelican*** · 10-21-2009, 01:17 PM

You did good CNMC2C.

I agree with the others, sharing about Alanon is a great way to offer help to another person dealing with Alcoholism. Stepping back and letting her decide what to do with that information is the next healthy choice.

You caught yourself before you got all codie and scheduled what time to pick her up and drop her off after the next meeting LOL.

***Freedom1990*** · 10-21-2009, 01:21 PM

I think offering to go with her to her first meeting if she does want to go is a wonderful idea. I'd even opt for a couple of meetings with her.

I know for me, a big part of my recovery is reaching out to others in need who may also want recovery for themselves.

CNMC2C · 10-21-2009, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelican

You did good CNMC2C.

I agree with the others, sharing about Alanon is a great way to offer help to another person dealing with Alcoholism. Stepping back and letting her decide what to do with that information is the next healthy choice.

You caught yourself before you got all codie and scheduled what time to pick her up and drop her off after the next meeting LOL.

LOL! You know I had my Outlook Calendar pulled up on my laptop and was getting ready to schedule our Al-Anon dates for the next decade:0) It's so funny to catch myself in those Codie Tornado Moments now and to actually stop myself from my own insanity.

wanting · 10-21-2009, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CNMC2C

LOL! You know I had my Outlook Calendar pulled up on my laptop and was getting ready to schedule our Al-Anon dates for the next decade:0) It's so funny to catch myself in those Codie Tornado Moments now and to actually stop myself from my own insanity.

I know exactly what you mean!

***Pelican*** · 10-21-2009, 05:36 PM

Some of the wisdom I learned from this forum was about offering advise:

Say it once and I am offering helpful advise
Say it twice and I am trying to control another person

Glad you saw the humor in pulling out the calendar! We need to laugh at ourselves.

10-21-2009, 08:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
CNMC2C Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 119	Advice Hello all, Need advice. I have a friend whose daughter is an alcoholic. My friend called me this morning and told me that her daughter has relapsed again. My friend is devastated, as she has paid for her daughter to go to rehab several times and the daughter has ended up relapsing each time. My friend asked me about Al-Anon and I explained how the program works and sent her the web address. I offered to go with her to her first meeting if she wanted me to. Is this overstepping? I think that the correct way to handle this is just to step away from it now and stay out of it. If she ask me to go with her to a meeting I will, but now I'm wondering if I'm breaking Al-Anon's privacy rule? Is it ok to go to a meeting with someone you know who has never been? I don't want my codepedancy issues to come into play here and just thought that posting on here could help me stay on track of keeping my side of the street clean. Thanks in advance for any advice that is provided to me. Take Care.

10-21-2009, 09:44 AM	#2 (permalink)
Cowgirl1265 Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: In the barn Posts: 324	I think your instinct to step back is a good instinct. You are wise to recognize how the desire to 'help' might play out with your own recovery issues. __________________ ~~~~~~~* A goal is not a plan Hope is not a strategy

10-21-2009, 01:17 PM	#4 (permalink)
*Pelican* peaceful seabird Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: floating Posts: 3,650	You did good CNMC2C. I agree with the others, sharing about Alanon is a great way to offer help to another person dealing with Alcoholism. Stepping back and letting her decide what to do with that information is the next healthy choice. You caught yourself before you got all codie and scheduled what time to pick her up and drop her off after the next meeting LOL. __________________ "How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." Trina Paulus Hope for the Flowers

10-21-2009, 01:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
*Freedom1990* Wesley Employee Extraordinaire Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Kansas Posts: 9,340	I think offering to go with her to her first meeting if she does want to go is a wonderful idea. I'd even opt for a couple of meetings with her. I know for me, a big part of my recovery is reaching out to others in need who may also want recovery for themselves. __________________ DeVon & the Zoo Crew ‎Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. ~Arthur Somers Roche

10-21-2009, 05:36 PM	#8 (permalink)
*Pelican* peaceful seabird Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: floating Posts: 3,650	Some of the wisdom I learned from this forum was about offering advise: Say it once and I am offering helpful advise Say it twice and I am trying to control another person Glad you saw the humor in pulling out the calendar! We need to laugh at ourselves. __________________ "How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." Trina Paulus Hope for the Flowers

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