What we don't miss - Page 2 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

transformyself · 10-17-2009, 08:17 AM

Thank You For This Thread

I don't miss feeling like I'm not good enough, like I"m the one missing out because he doesn't love me.

I don't miss wondering what I did wrong and how to make it better.

Don't miss wondering what i did wrong and being terrified I can never make it better.

I don't miss becoming entangled in the madness and caring way more about him than I did myself.

I don't miss so much anxiety that I can't accomplish anything.

I don't miss waking up to his text messages going off, he's passed out on the couch and the woman he promised me he didn't care about and wasn't talking to on the other end. I don't miss reading his texts to her saying, "I miss you, you never left me,"

Don't miss living in a house knowing he brought that other woman into my home, made her dinner, wrote her poems while I was gone with the kids.

I do not miss his lies or convincing myself they are true.

Don't miss crying while he rages around yelling at me.

Don't miss not having milk for our kids so he can have beer, because he deserves it.

SheCanRun · 10-17-2009, 09:17 AM

I want in on this.... will be an helpful reminder for later when I'm feeling weak.

I won't miss...

Being manipulated

Conversations in which I walk away shaking my head saying what just happened?

Empty liquor bottles all over the basement, in the pantry and anywhere else he decided to leave them

His attempts to control what he did not like about me, my business and my life

His hateful comments about my friends that he didn't like (the ones he knew supported me & want me to get out)

His sarcastic comments about my belief system

Us not speaking for weeks on end after a fight

Him snoring next to me after a long night of drinking, the stumbling around and waking me up. Him sleeping in while I do kid duty in the morning.

Never knowing if he's going to be in a good or bad mood, having to adjust my mood to his. Having to look across the room to my 9 year old & send him a silent msg to watch out.

Being scared that I can't buy food, gas, pay the bills

Being yelled at that I didn't pay a bill and something got canceled. Him yelling louder & getting madder at me when I point out there is NO money to pay said bill

Him starting a fight with me, ripping into me for 45 minutes and then expecting me to say I'm sorry for the wrong I have caused him. And when I refuse to apologize the hell that we live for the next weeks. I eventually always come back and say I'm sorry. Won't miss that AT ALL.

Him getting mad b/c I don't have sex with him enough. Hearing that there must be something wrong with me that I don't walk around all day wanting him. All his ex's wanted to do him all the time, what's my problem?

Him being angry. At me and at everything

Being blamed for everything. Him never taking responsibility.

Feeling crazy.

kv816 · 10-17-2009, 02:41 PM

I won't miss the way my heart would sink every time the phone rang....wondering if it was him on the other end wanting a ride home from the bar. If I say no, he'll be angry and we'll fight. If I said yes then I'd be upset and we'd fight.

I won't miss the questions. When's he coming home? IS he coming home? Who has he been out with? What did they talk about? Did he think about me? Is he seeing all these other girls drinking and when he comes home is he going to fight because I wasn't there drinking with him like the other guys' girls were? Will he have drank so much he'll pass out?

I won't miss him monitoring my finances....how much was my check, how much was each bill I paid, what happened to the rest of what I had left after paying bills. Won't miss the fights when I refuse to give that information out.

The insecurity and "obvious" attack every time I stood behind him watching him cook my favorite dish or something I've never seen or had before. I want to see how it's cooked--not nit pick at what you're doing wrong!

I won't miss my kids sitting at the table for hours on end because there are starving kids in Ethiopia. Some people like breaded, deep-fried chicken gizzards....my kids are not some of those people!

Being second guessed because it's not the way his mother did it.

Him not letting my kids talk to me because they didn't say "ma'am" first. I'm their mother, not their drill instructor.

Only have one or two pieces of chicken with dinner. If I don't want three, I don't want three! Oh wait, there's starving kids in Africa so I have to have three.

I won't miss sneaking through the grocery store. Can I bypass the aisle that has the beer in it too?

I won't miss him. I won't miss the few loving days, the fightless nights. The smiles, the laughs, the problem-solved conversations. I won't miss the sober him.

Tally · 10-17-2009, 08:46 PM

I don't miss dreading when he would wake up, not knowing what mood he would be in.
I don't miss watching what I said incase he would take it the wrong way and flare up.
I don't miss being threatened.
I don't miss being emotionally abused and made to feel as if I was going insane.
I don't miss not having any money because it was all spent on alcohol.
I don't miss that disgusting "garlic" morning breath.
I don't miss watching him pour his first glass at 6am.
I don't miss the word "drink" that would be part of almost every sentence.
I don't miss the pity parties and the "woe is me" attitude.
I don't miss the anger in his voice and the cold look in his eyes.

I don't miss anything from his drinking days.

10-17-2009, 08:17 AM	#26 (permalink)
transformyself I Love Who I Am Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Midwest Posts: 2,649 Blog Entries: 2	Thank You For This Thread I don't miss feeling like I'm not good enough, like I"m the one missing out because he doesn't love me. I don't miss wondering what I did wrong and how to make it better. Don't miss wondering what i did wrong and being terrified I can never make it better. I don't miss becoming entangled in the madness and caring way more about him than I did myself. I don't miss so much anxiety that I can't accomplish anything. I don't miss waking up to his text messages going off, he's passed out on the couch and the woman he promised me he didn't care about and wasn't talking to on the other end. I don't miss reading his texts to her saying, "I miss you, you never left me," Don't miss living in a house knowing he brought that other woman into my home, made her dinner, wrote her poems while I was gone with the kids. I do not miss his lies or convincing myself they are true. Don't miss crying while he rages around yelling at me. Don't miss not having milk for our kids so he can have beer, because he deserves it. __________________ Love is calling "...if he's going to burn the house down, would you rather be in it with him, or safe somewhere else? I doubt you were put down here on this earth to follow a grown man with a dustpan, a fire extinguisher, and a pack of Huggies."---GiveLove

10-17-2009, 02:41 PM	#28 (permalink)
kv816 Only stepping forward Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Alabama, USA Posts: 330	I won't miss the way my heart would sink every time the phone rang....wondering if it was him on the other end wanting a ride home from the bar. If I say no, he'll be angry and we'll fight. If I said yes then I'd be upset and we'd fight. I won't miss the questions. When's he coming home? IS he coming home? Who has he been out with? What did they talk about? Did he think about me? Is he seeing all these other girls drinking and when he comes home is he going to fight because I wasn't there drinking with him like the other guys' girls were? Will he have drank so much he'll pass out? I won't miss him monitoring my finances....how much was my check, how much was each bill I paid, what happened to the rest of what I had left after paying bills. Won't miss the fights when I refuse to give that information out. The insecurity and "obvious" attack every time I stood behind him watching him cook my favorite dish or something I've never seen or had before. I want to see how it's cooked--not nit pick at what you're doing wrong! I won't miss my kids sitting at the table for hours on end because there are starving kids in Ethiopia. Some people like breaded, deep-fried chicken gizzards....my kids are not some of those people! Being second guessed because it's not the way his mother did it. Him not letting my kids talk to me because they didn't say "ma'am" first. I'm their mother, not their drill instructor. Only have one or two pieces of chicken with dinner. If I don't want three, I don't want three! Oh wait, there's starving kids in Africa so I have to have three. I won't miss sneaking through the grocery store. Can I bypass the aisle that has the beer in it too? I won't miss him. I won't miss the few loving days, the fightless nights. The smiles, the laughs, the problem-solved conversations. I won't miss the sober him. __________________ When suffering becomes more difficult than changing, it's time to change. There comes a point in your life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything. It's not giving up. It's realizing you don't need certain people or the drama they bring.

10-17-2009, 08:46 PM	#29 (permalink)
Tally Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: England Posts: 735	I don't miss dreading when he would wake up, not knowing what mood he would be in. I don't miss watching what I said incase he would take it the wrong way and flare up. I don't miss being threatened. I don't miss being emotionally abused and made to feel as if I was going insane. I don't miss not having any money because it was all spent on alcohol. I don't miss that disgusting "garlic" morning breath. I don't miss watching him pour his first glass at 6am. I don't miss the word "drink" that would be part of almost every sentence. I don't miss the pity parties and the "woe is me" attitude. I don't miss the anger in his voice and the cold look in his eyes. I don't miss anything from his drinking days. __________________ Poor is the man whos pleasures depend on the permission of another. Denying reality doesn't make it go away, it only prolongs the suffering. - LTD

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10-17-2009, 09:17 AM	#27 (permalink)
SheCanRun Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: East Coast Posts: 90	I want in on this.... will be an helpful reminder for later when I'm feeling weak. I won't miss... Being manipulated Conversations in which I walk away shaking my head saying what just happened? Empty liquor bottles all over the basement, in the pantry and anywhere else he decided to leave them His attempts to control what he did not like about me, my business and my life His hateful comments about my friends that he didn't like (the ones he knew supported me & want me to get out) His sarcastic comments about my belief system Us not speaking for weeks on end after a fight Him snoring next to me after a long night of drinking, the stumbling around and waking me up. Him sleeping in while I do kid duty in the morning. Never knowing if he's going to be in a good or bad mood, having to adjust my mood to his. Having to look across the room to my 9 year old & send him a silent msg to watch out. Being scared that I can't buy food, gas, pay the bills Being yelled at that I didn't pay a bill and something got canceled. Him yelling louder & getting madder at me when I point out there is NO money to pay said bill Him starting a fight with me, ripping into me for 45 minutes and then expecting me to say I'm sorry for the wrong I have caused him. And when I refuse to apologize the hell that we live for the next weeks. I eventually always come back and say I'm sorry. Won't miss that AT ALL. Him getting mad b/c I don't have sex with him enough. Hearing that there must be something wrong with me that I don't walk around all day wanting him. All his ex's wanted to do him all the time, what's my problem? Him being angry. At me and at everything Being blamed for everything. Him never taking responsibility. Feeling crazy.

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