Really hard time right now!

[desysmommie]

I'm trying so hard to work on me. But I find it really hard to work on me with somebody so hateful in my life. Last month my mom and step-dad bought me a house for me and my daughter. I thought it was great! But I decieded that I would work on my house slowly and see if he is gonna stay sober this time around.

Well he started with the snide comments that I'm so used to now. And then it was coming home hours after he was supposed to be home. Then it went to him not coming home at all. He said that I nag to much and when I'm not nagging I'm being a cold hearted b$tch! I find that when he's around I don't talk to him unless I have to. My sponser says "Say what you mean, mean what you say, don't say it mean!" I'm trying hard to do that.

So when I saw how his old ways where coming into play I started putting stuff in lay-a-way. Well somehow he found out about the house and the lay-a-way! And the way he reacted blew my mind. Like I just ambushed him with the way that I feel. I've been telling him for months that something has to change. He can't act single and run the streets and come home when he feels like it.

I really hope that I'm doing the right thing about moving out. I'm tired of worrying about if he's gonna pay the rent or not. He always hangs that over my head!

I guess I just need some nice words unstead of mean words!

[Gabe]

and you deserve them. I suspect you will get nothing but meaness from him, however, because that's how they react when you decide it's time to live your own life. It's a big, huge threat to them when you move out from under their thumb. You are on the right path to a happy life for you and your daughter. Don't let anyone get in your way. Congrats on your new, happy, peaceful home. I'm sure you will be very happy and serene there.
Peace,
Gabe

[Rose56]

Mommie,
I agree with Gabe, you deserve a new start with just you and your daughter. They can be so mean when they are afraid that they won't have you to lean on anymore. Great that you have a good sponcer. Keep using her for guidance and support and you can change your life. You are in my prayers.

[JT]

I love your sponsors words...and she is right!! Give some thought to what you have to say.

There was a time several years ago that Ward broke a coffee table...and it was the second one that he broke, falling on it while he was drunk. Also the same week he set off the smoke alarm by pushing the wrong buttons on the microwave (not 3 minutes but 30 and he was passed out on the couch...no one was home but him). I will never forget how calmly I managed to say "I am not leaving today but I can't continue to do this forever"

He still drinks, but none of those things have happened again...I don't know if it was what I said. Probably not. But I DO know I was honest and calm. And there was not alot he could say back.

Hugs,
JT