Religion and recovery.

[livnfrme]

Hi everyone,


Well our son went to dad's to visit him on Saturday and Sunday. It turns out dad has started going to church. I do not have a problem with church but I do have a problem with either of us taking any action with our son regarding controversial subjects without discussing it with the other first.

I brought it up to dad and he did not have a problem with my views. Since the weekend I am seeing a real victimization role with A and I have been worried about him dealing with clients for our business as they are children so I hired someone to replace him and let him know my decision.

Now he is saying I am showing demonic attributes and I am just sick about how much more unstable he is getting as time goes on. I will have to remove access completely from our son. I am worried about dad attributing our son's reaction to this situation as demonic attributes.

I am worried about religion becoming the next addiction as that happens with anything he touches, hobbies, anything. I am also worried about him using it as another method to manipulate.

What part does religion have in recovery if anyone out there knows? Anyone have any experience with this?

[LaTeeDa]

I'm not religious at all, so take that into consideration when reading my reply.

Religion and recovery can go well together, or not. Depends on the individual. Just like religion and life really. Some people find great comfort in their religion and it helps them to live a fuller life. Others just go batsh!t crazy and use it as an excuse for their own twisted thinking. (The shooter of the doctor on Sunday comes to mind....) Religion is not the problem, people are.

L

[Freedom1990]

Originally Posted by LaTeeDa

Religion and recovery can go well together, or not. Depends on the individual. Just like religion and life really. Some people find great comfort in their religion and it helps them to live a fuller life. Others just go batsh!t crazy and use it as an excuse for their own twisted thinking. (The shooter of the doctor on Sunday comes to mind....) Religion is not the problem, people are.

I agree. I have some friends in recovery who integrate recovery and religion very well. I've also seen the zealots who go overboard, like LTD said.

Personally I recognize no organized religion as my own, though I was raised in a strict Catholic home. I practice spirituality on a daily basis in my life, and that is how I have taught my daughters since I got clean/sober.

I would be very concerned about your son being around him too. I'm sorry you're going through this.

:ghug :ghug

[livnfrme]

Originally Posted by Freedom1990

I agree. I have some friends in recovery who integrate recovery and religion very well. I've also seen the zealots who go overboard, like LTD said.

Personally I recognize no organized religion as my own, though I was raised in a strict Catholic home. I practice spirituality on a daily basis in my life, and that is how I have taught my daughters since I got clean/sober.

I would be very concerned about your son being around him too. I'm sorry you're going through this.

:ghug :ghug

I am more inclined to believe the overboard thing right now with his perceptions. I have heard very recently about how he is praying to god to get the demons out of his life. Now he is talking about my demonic attributes.

I don't view spirituality and religion to be the same thing at all. I am worried about what my son is going through. Being an adult I can handle whatever is thrown my way, or find support to handle it.

I hate the thought of our son missing dad and having to go without him again. I feel lots of anger that I have to process daily now and get rid of.

I hope this selfish thinking goes away sometime soon or the religion is helpful.

[TakingCharge999]

"I will have to remove access completely from our son."

I of course have not been in your shoes, but that sounds like a good plan. I have followed your posts and I do not trust him at all. I think he is far, far from using faith to improve his own life the way many of us do here. Honestly? He seems he is just switching addictions. Do you notice he is still blaming you for everything? The only difference is that he is using different words.

Trust your gut feeling. It is NEVER wrong.

"I hate the thought of our son missing dad"

livinfrme, picturing your son being dressed in a different way, anxious when seeing the other kids in the "right" clothes but him, when he was not bathed - even when your son spent time with him, dad was missing. Dad's figure is already missing, him physically being in your son's life, or not, and for that I am sorry.

If you remove access to his son, the only difference will be that your son and you, are going to do much better, and won't have a front row seat to what seems a long, bumpy road towards personal responsability from a man that is so willing to dissapoint his son, over and over.