2 drink limit? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

sadwife · 08-13-2003, 08:42 AM

I thought things were getting better. AH saw specialist and is going back tomorrow. But in the mean time told me that he had 2 drinks at dinner Fri nite! Said his problem is binge drinking and he can stop at 2 drinks. Thought my head would explode. Is it possible for him to live his life with only 2 drinks? I guess I already know the answer to that one. Can binge drinkers limit and drink without going overboard? I thought he was getting over this to easy. Please any feedback will be appreciated. Thanks

smoke gets in my eyes · 08-13-2003, 08:51 AM

Hello sadwife.

I would share your skepticism. However, such things are unknowable with any certainty. The only recovery you can work is your own. Try to leave this up to him. If it won't work, it will become obvious soon enough. In the meantime... try to get your mind off of it and do something nice for you.

Hugs,
Smoke

**margo** · 08-13-2003, 08:55 AM

Hi Sadwife - "controlled" drinking/using is something that a lot of alcoholics/addicts like to think they can do, and I believe that it can be a stage along the way to acceptance of true powerlessness over the substance in question. IMHO, it's an example of diseased thinking, and most alcoholics/addicts quickly learn that there is no such thing as control over their DOC - that's what makes them alcoholics/addicts in the first place.

Just my 2 cents!

Ditto to Smoke's wise words!

snoopy · 08-13-2003, 08:57 AM

Hi there,
Well, from my experience the answer would be no. MY H would limit himself for awhile and I thought oh, thats not so bad. Then it started to be more then more until he was back to himself or worse. But, maybe in your H case that is not so. Everyone is so different. I think a couple drinks could lead to more. Sorry, this is not more positive for you. Just keep taking one day at a time. Let go and Let God. I do lots of praying that helps me take my mind off alot of my worries. take care, Snoopy

sadwife · 08-13-2003, 10:03 AM

Thats what I kinda thought. Just when you think things are looking up. I guess I do have to stop thinking about him and concentrate on myself. I just feel so let down by him. I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself. I will just have to get on with my life. Thanks for the quick responses!

EyesOpen · 08-13-2003, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sadwife
Thought my head would explode.

Yeah, I thought my head would explode on several occasions too.

There is another thread posted here recently where the term "too much" was used. This seems to be one of the common traits to indicate a problem. They can't bear to imagine a future without alcohol, so they attempt to bargain with the devil. My AH used to line up his empties in an attempt to count how many he was drinking.

I've since realized that anyone who DOESN'T have a problem with alcohol can do COMPLETELY without it and be at peace. If they hang on .... even to one drink a day, there's a problem.

Toby Rice Drews has a book called "Getting Them Sober". (The title is misleading -- the book is actually a guidebook to help us - those who live with them). She makes the case that ANY amount of alcohol in their bodies will not only continue the dependency, it will make the disease progress. I suggest you get a copy of her book -- it will help with dealing with that "head exploding" feeling.

MeMeMookieeee · 08-13-2003, 05:00 PM

My husband thinks that he can control his addictions by just drinking beer...no hard alcohol and then shows up with a pint, sometimes he drinks it before he gets home.

My experience is that the only true "control" is abstinance which I've yet to see in my husband's case. I have hope, but its dim hope

I think you just have to give it time to see if he can control it. Some can...many can't!

JT · 08-14-2003, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Thought my head would explode.

This tickled me for some reason this morning. Couldya just SEE the look on his face???

JT

HOPEFULL · 07-20-2004, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sadwife

I thought things were getting better. AH saw specialist and is going back tomorrow. But in the mean time told me that he had 2 drinks at dinner Fri nite! Said his problem is binge drinking and he can stop at 2 drinks. Thought my head would explode. Is it possible for him to live his life with only 2 drinks? I guess I already know the answer to that one. Can binge drinkers limit and drink without going overboard? I thought he was getting over this to easy. Please any feedback will be appreciated. Thanks

i hear your pain. my husband can only drink 2 drinks if i am there controlling it all. but what kind of life is that for me.. binge drinkers romance there drinking,.. they see it as more than a drink. its a romance.. they tease themselves when they can with one or 2 or three, all the time knowing in there heads there is a time coming soon when they can drink all they want.
that is why they need to stop drinking all together.. i am new to this post, i am hoping to find support and i can see i have already , i am going to alanon starting on monday.. i have been told if we make changes in our life styles they will follow our lead. i am willing to try anything.. i hope this helps you....

Dan · 07-20-2004, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by margo

Hi Sadwife - "controlled" drinking/using is something that a lot of alcoholics/addicts like to think they can do, and I believe that it can be a stage along the way to acceptance of true powerlessness over the substance in question. IMHO, it's an example of diseased thinking, and most alcoholics/addicts quickly learn that there is no such thing as control over their DOC - that's what makes them alcoholics/addicts in the first place.

Add my two cents to Margo's.
Best wishes to you.

dlhsmiles · 07-20-2004, 01:11 PM

My experience with my binge drinking husband is that once he starts... he doesn't stop until he passes out or is physically removed from the premises. He blacks out and doesn't remember a thing, therefore for him these episodes are never really that bad or serious. For me, taking the focus off the alcoholic and on to myself is very difficult...because I still feel that HB is the root of all problems, I know that is flawed thinking, but it is my honest gut reaction to his drinking and the problems that always follows. Take care of yourself.

Nightowl · 07-20-2004, 01:18 PM

I'm trying to figure out what HB is???

dlhsmiles · 07-20-2004, 01:29 PM

Oh, HB is my short version for husband.

myles1 · 07-20-2004, 01:34 PM

Hi Sadwife,

Good news! The idea of "controlled drinking" is one of the stages along the way towards us alcoholics bottoming out. We go through a stage where we think we can control it and we try only to fall flat on our faces.

He'll find out...........in the mean time for you, Alanon!

All you can do.

Ngaire

HOPEFULL · 07-20-2004, 04:07 PM

DOES ANYONE OUT THERE know about any more good books that can help both the person with the drinking problem and the person living with this nightmare...?

08-13-2003, 08:42 AM	#1 (permalink)
sadwife Paused Join Date: May 2003 Location: chicago IL Posts: 38	2 drink limit? I thought things were getting better. AH saw specialist and is going back tomorrow. But in the mean time told me that he had 2 drinks at dinner Fri nite! Said his problem is binge drinking and he can stop at 2 drinks. Thought my head would explode. Is it possible for him to live his life with only 2 drinks? I guess I already know the answer to that one. Can binge drinkers limit and drink without going overboard? I thought he was getting over this to easy. Please any feedback will be appreciated. Thanks

08-13-2003, 08:51 AM	#2 (permalink)
smoke gets in my eyes 1000 Post Club Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: That's what I'd like to know. Posts: 2,432	Hello sadwife. I would share your skepticism. However, such things are unknowable with any certainty. The only recovery you can work is your own. Try to leave this up to him. If it won't work, it will become obvious soon enough. In the meantime... try to get your mind off of it and do something nice for you. Hugs, Smoke __________________ It is better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life. 21st century proverb

08-13-2003, 08:55 AM	#3 (permalink)
margo Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia Posts: 1,747	Hi Sadwife - "controlled" drinking/using is something that a lot of alcoholics/addicts like to think they can do, and I believe that it can be a stage along the way to acceptance of true powerlessness over the substance in question. IMHO, it's an example of diseased thinking, and most alcoholics/addicts quickly learn that there is no such thing as control over their DOC - that's what makes them alcoholics/addicts in the first place. Just my 2 cents! Ditto to Smoke's wise words! __________________ Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky. ~Ojibwe saying~

07-20-2004, 04:07 PM	#15 (permalink)
HOPEFULL Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: LA, CA Posts: 7	Books DOES ANYONE OUT THERE know about any more good books that can help both the person with the drinking problem and the person living with this nightmare...?

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08-13-2003, 08:57 AM	#4 (permalink)
snoopy Paused Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: OR Posts: 18	Hi there, Well, from my experience the answer would be no. MY H would limit himself for awhile and I thought oh, thats not so bad. Then it started to be more then more until he was back to himself or worse. But, maybe in your H case that is not so. Everyone is so different. I think a couple drinks could lead to more. Sorry, this is not more positive for you. Just keep taking one day at a time. Let go and Let God. I do lots of praying that helps me take my mind off alot of my worries. take care, Snoopy

08-13-2003, 10:03 AM	#5 (permalink)
sadwife Paused Join Date: May 2003 Location: chicago IL Posts: 38	Thats what I kinda thought. Just when you think things are looking up. I guess I do have to stop thinking about him and concentrate on myself. I just feel so let down by him. I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself. I will just have to get on with my life. Thanks for the quick responses!

08-13-2003, 05:00 PM	#7 (permalink)
MeMeMookieeee Paused Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 19	My husband thinks that he can control his addictions by just drinking beer...no hard alcohol and then shows up with a pint, sometimes he drinks it before he gets home. My experience is that the only true "control" is abstinance which I've yet to see in my husband's case. I have hope, but its dim hope I think you just have to give it time to see if he can control it. Some can...many can't!

07-20-2004, 01:11 PM	#11 (permalink)
dlhsmiles Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 5	My experience with my binge drinking husband is that once he starts... he doesn't stop until he passes out or is physically removed from the premises. He blacks out and doesn't remember a thing, therefore for him these episodes are never really that bad or serious. For me, taking the focus off the alcoholic and on to myself is very difficult...because I still feel that HB is the root of all problems, I know that is flawed thinking, but it is my honest gut reaction to his drinking and the problems that always follows. Take care of yourself.

07-20-2004, 01:18 PM	#12 (permalink)
Nightowl Paused Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Indianapolis, In Posts: 112	I'm trying to figure out what HB is???

07-20-2004, 01:29 PM	#13 (permalink)
dlhsmiles Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 5	Oh, HB is my short version for husband.

07-20-2004, 01:34 PM	#14 (permalink)
myles1 Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Ayer's Cliff, Quebec Posts: 797	Hi Sadwife, Good news! The idea of "controlled drinking" is one of the stages along the way towards us alcoholics bottoming out. We go through a stage where we think we can control it and we try only to fall flat on our faces. He'll find out...........in the mean time for you, Alanon! All you can do. Ngaire

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