How separating can turn lives around

[Kimmieh]

I need to post this because I want to let people know how taking a physical break from the addict can benefit both parties.

My ABF and I have not broken up technically, but we haven't seen each other in a while and yes, I have had a hard time with that. During the past week, however, I have received so many good news (mostly career-wise) that it just blows my mind. Everything just seems to fall into place right now. He called me two days ago and told me all the good things that are happening to him (great job offers, etc.). I remember when I passed my exams, he said to me: "It was good that I moved out. That way you had time to focus on your work and not about my drinking."

But he also has had time to focus on his work and life and not on my nagging and controlling. It has worked for both of us in terms of our lives outside of the relationship. I believe things happen for a reason and I realize that this physical AND emotional distance that I was struggling with has led to a determination on my part to work harder because I might have to make it on my own in the future and because I wasn't preoccupied with worries - I didn't know what exactly he was doing and that was good.

I believe in energies and I think we both have created negative energy for each other and ourselves. Right now I am decluttering my apartment to get rid of old stuff and to be able to do a deep clean because I want things clean and non-redundant (I am also a believer in Feng Shui, hehe). I am proud of myself for what I have accomplished already this year and I am happy for him that his life went to being dependent on me to being all-around independent and self-sufficient. I don't know where we are going, but I know that on an individual basis, we are a lot better than we were before he moved out. Perhaps two healthier people can walk through life together, but even if not, I think we have learned a lot, even if there will be times of frustration again and even if we break up.