My boyfriend is an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Raleig, nc
Posts: 39
What can I do? Please..
Hi , I Have the same problem... First I'm not from here so my English is not that good but hope you guys can help me .
My bf and I have almost 7 months together almost living together and now is a nightmare , he is out of control full of anger and insults;when I met him he was different or he was looking different , he was so respectful and always having fun , I star feeling signals about alcohol like if I was working he was drinking at home alone and don't answer the phone then when I was at home he was drunk but then he acted so nice like making dinners and saying he was drinking cus he had a great day at work then was cus he was upset, then cus is to hot ,summer time , after to Hear all kind of scusses I of tired ...we start to fight cus the drinking issues , one day he kick me out of the house all drunk. And I left him , the next day he was begging me to back home and telling me bulshit how bad he was felling and he loves me and he want I help him and I back home cus yes I love him ,but this happened 4 other time ...and now all the relationship is destroy and I don't know what to do , he just blaim me for everything , he just scream all the time at me for no reason , I believe after drink 24 beers plus wine and shots for the next day his brain and nerves are all destroy , now if I forgot to turn off the light he just bulling me ...I be alive he is angry with his own person , he know all the promises he told me to back home with him and now the only thing he say to me is (he is fine , he don't have any problem and he was fine before he met me ) what I feel right now is sad for me and for him , I was thinking to talk with his family and sister about this because nobody knows about his problem cus he hide this for years , I don't know even if I should talk with him about go to therapy and find help but right now I feel like he hate me ...the worse part is I don't have family here to talk or help either ...
My bf and I have almost 7 months together almost living together and now is a nightmare , he is out of control full of anger and insults;when I met him he was different or he was looking different , he was so respectful and always having fun , I star feeling signals about alcohol like if I was working he was drinking at home alone and don't answer the phone then when I was at home he was drunk but then he acted so nice like making dinners and saying he was drinking cus he had a great day at work then was cus he was upset, then cus is to hot ,summer time , after to Hear all kind of scusses I of tired ...we start to fight cus the drinking issues , one day he kick me out of the house all drunk. And I left him , the next day he was begging me to back home and telling me bulshit how bad he was felling and he loves me and he want I help him and I back home cus yes I love him ,but this happened 4 other time ...and now all the relationship is destroy and I don't know what to do , he just blaim me for everything , he just scream all the time at me for no reason , I believe after drink 24 beers plus wine and shots for the next day his brain and nerves are all destroy , now if I forgot to turn off the light he just bulling me ...I be alive he is angry with his own person , he know all the promises he told me to back home with him and now the only thing he say to me is (he is fine , he don't have any problem and he was fine before he met me ) what I feel right now is sad for me and for him , I was thinking to talk with his family and sister about this because nobody knows about his problem cus he hide this for years , I don't know even if I should talk with him about go to therapy and find help but right now I feel like he hate me ...the worse part is I don't have family here to talk or help either ...
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Galita, the man that you are describing is dangerous. A person who loves you does not abuse you. He is very sick and you cannot help him. It is not a good idea to stay with this person.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 386
Orchid, hugs, and sorry for your pain. I know it well because my relationship with ABF was so similar. I say *was* because I finally ended it last week. After one stressful/scary incident too many, I was done. You will know when you reach that point with him -- if you are still alive to find out. Not trying to be too blunt or dramatic. I'm worried for you sweetie. Violence and threats are the opposite of love.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Welcome Galita. This is an old thread; it would be great if you started your own new thread so people don't get confused about who they are talking to!
Looking forward to "meeting" you...
~T
Looking forward to "meeting" you...
~T
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 1
It's been years ..
Originally Posted by RRTL 
It brings me some peace of mind to have found this website I don’t feel so alone on this. I have been dating my boyfriend for two years now and he is an alcoholic. I am so disappointed in myself my entire youth I promised myself I wouldn’t never date an alcoholic since my father was one. When I first started dating my boyfriend I didn’t know he was an alcoholic until five months into the relationship. I’m not going to lie I had a feeling after a couple of months but I ignored it because he is a great person when he doesn’t drink. When I confronted him he denied it. After five months we had a long talk and he cut down, which I thought for a long time. After one year of dating lots of things changed, emotionally I wasn’t the same anymore, I started developing anxiety .There has been times that he could be so mean verbally when he drinks and the next day he acts like nothing. When we go out by ourselves or with friends 80% of the time he gets really drunk to the point that I have to drive home or get a taxi. The next day he doesn’t remember anything. That’s one of the problems I can’t babysit him all the time. When he drinks hard liquor he doesn’t remember the next day, how can I trust someone like that. Everyone that knows him and I tell me that I am too good for him that he doesn’t treat me how I should be treated, and I know that but don’t know why I stay. I love him and I know he loves me to but that is not enough anymore. I have started counseling to deal with my issues, on why I stay, but I am still in the relationship. If anyone can give me advise on this please. Every night I go to sleep thinking on how much more time can i invest in him. It makes it really hard because I love him, I expect what should be right to me in a relationship but dont feel like its going to happen.
How are you doing? It's been years now.. Did you leave your boyfriend? Sounds like similar situation that I'm in now. I know your post is a couple years ago old but it sounds like my life right now. I know the right thing to do is but why's it so hard.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Hi, Alex--welcome to SR. I looked at RRTL's posts, and she has not posted here since 2011, so I'm thinking you will not likely get a reply to your questions for her; looks like she has moved on.
Please feel free to start your own thread--you'll probably get more responses that way. This is a very active board with a lot of experience, strength and hope shared.
I hope you find the support you're looking for here. Keep coming back, everyone here "gets it."
Wishing you strength and clarity.
Please feel free to start your own thread--you'll probably get more responses that way. This is a very active board with a lot of experience, strength and hope shared.
I hope you find the support you're looking for here. Keep coming back, everyone here "gets it."
Wishing you strength and clarity.
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