update and how to handle this?

[whereami]

I agree the Holidays seem to have a psychosis of their own and can create feelings of loneliness, fear and even lower our boundaries...that should be no reason to put yourself in a dangerous situation. Have you acknowledged that this is not just a phase for him and perhaps he will not change until you leave and even then maybe not?



He obviously feels that his life is out of control and he is willing to bring you down with him and even blame you for being there. If you get blamed anyway wouldn't you rather do it from a vantage point? Go to a friends for awhile just to get a fresh perspective. It really helped me see when I moved away from the situation.



Blackout or not this is extremely aggressive behavior and now that he knows you're still there after this behavior-somewhere in the back of his mind it is o.k.





Umm yeah that will be his next "blackout" and I wouldn't even take the chance. You have a future without him, don't believe that you don't. There are people in here that have found true love at 68 so I don't believe we should stick by them to watch.

It seems like you are worried about him and that is fine I felt the same way but you can love from a distance ...a safe one? Just my thought.

I wish you prayer and hope because I know it is hard.:praying

[whereami]

Oh and if anyone hasn't mentioned it Go to your local Library if you're interested and "Codependent No More" M. Beatie will make you so happy to find yourself again in the scenerios and advice...I don't push books but this is a good one for we who support the loved ones lost to addiction.

[Alphawoman]

Dear Hope Angel,

Please, please take yourself out of harm's way. You're concerned with everyone else's safety and life but your own? Why? Your AH obviously needs professional help. You're in counseling and this is very wise on your part. Your house will sell eventually. If he is intent upon hurting himself there's nothing you'll be able to do to stop him. Who can understand him at this time????? Please take yourself out of danger.
Alphawomabn

[embraced2000]

hope, hey check in with us, ok?

[Shivaya]

Hope, just now reading your thread and all the responses.

I bet you have a sibling or a close friend. Imagine if your sibling came to you and told you what you've shared with us. What would you do? I bet you'd do everything in your power to see that your loved one was kept safe.

So...dear loved one Hope Angel, use your Power to take care of yourself! Call the police!! Leave the house!! You are more important than a house or anything in it.

Open your heart, open your eyes, see the Truth...it will save you!!! Please don't deny that he could hurt you, he already has...and will continue to if you let him.

Stop the madness!!! Stop the cycle of abuse!!! You have the Power!!!

Praying for you,

Shivaya

[hopeangel]

all your responses have touched me to the core -truly. it's times like these when i read this board and see the strength, caring, and self awareness of the people here that i realize that i am gratful for the relationship i have had with an alcoholic. i really was struggling to find something that i was gratful for from my relationship with him- and here i find it... it has and will make me a stronger person. a lot of people go through their entire lives and never deal with themselves and because of that are not capable of finding true happiness or having a truly loving relationship with anyone. we are forced to do that and for that and all of you, i am gratful.

i really don't know what i am going to do -or how i am going to handle this all- or how i'm going to get through all of it. i'm taking it one day at a time.

AH did not drink until yesterday. i was scared and angry, but he kept to himself and i kept to myself. i am not talking to him again. at least now i have my answer...it doesn't matter what i do or how i act with him until he gets true help and treatment he is going to continue in has addiction.

please keep the prayers coming!!! and thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!!