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| | #1 (permalink) |
| Recovering Nicely Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 931
| I called police tonite!
Hi All, I know you are all familiar w/my circumstances w/AH. I had a court order but found out that it didn't ban him from drinking in the house, etc. Anyway, he was drunk again tonite, found out that the took $1500 from the home equity line, etc., plus other money (he's unemployed). Anyway, me and my sons were talking about it, and of course, AH become beligerant, etc. Came out of the room several times to start fights, etc. Finally, I said I had enough. I called the police. AH disappeared in his truck. Police said they couldn't arrest him, but gave me the paperwork to bring to the DA tomorrow to modify the order. I also told them AH was intoxicated, gave them the make, model and license plate no. of his truck. They said they would watch out for him. Watch out they did! He proceeded to drive and park in front of my house w/a cop car behind him, got out of his truck and came home without that cop stopping him. This is the second time in two weeks. I called the precinct, they were of no help. Tomorrow I am going to the DA to get my order amended to have him out of the house, and I feel like telling her what the police did. My sons could not believe it. Any other person would have been arrested. I locked AH out and have not heard from him. He is still drinking and driving, but I know i did what I needed to do to protect everyone else. Tomorrow I will go to the DA and protect me and my kids. And oh. btw, my younger son is moving out, he can't take the drama and chaos. Breaks my heart, but what can I do. Love you guys, any ideas welcome.
__________________ Maybe it's not about always trying to fix something that is broken ... Maybe it's about starting over and creating something better! Action may not bring about happiness, but there is no happiness without action! |
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| | #4 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 5,359
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QT, my heart goes out to you. You have been dealing with this for a really long time. We keep doing the next right thing and we don't always get the outcome we expect. But, I want to encourage you to keep doing what is right for you and it will eventually all work out. The universe is as it should be. Acceptance of that was the key to my serenity. One foot in front of the other. (((hugs))) L
__________________ The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.--Henry David Thoreau I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun.--Katharine Hepburn |
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| | #6 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,061
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I can understand how exasperated you must feel after so long. Getting him out of your house will provide relief as you rebuild your sanity and a better life. Good luck and stay centered.
__________________ i close my eyes and see clearly i stop trying to listen and hear truth i am silent and my heart sings i seek no contact and find union i am still and move forward i am gentle and need no strength i am humble and remain whole (ancient taoist meditation) |
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| | #7 (permalink) |
| Ph.D in insanity!! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Florida
Posts: 698
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You should live here. The good ol boys in my town would love to mess with him. Since the guys on my side of the family are cops anyway they just make a poster child out of my husband. You do what you have to. At least he can not call your bluff. Stick to your guns girl!!! |
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| | #8 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: MO
Posts: 724
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((((queenteree)))).......This too shall pass. And what is waiting for you on the other side is so much better.
__________________ You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go.~Dr. Suess |
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| | #9 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,298
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Tell the DA exactly what happened, including the inaction by the police. And stay strong! You are doing great.
__________________ I trust you are capable of handling your own life and I now stop interfering by trying to rescue you. There's only one corner of the universe you can be sure of improving, and that's your own self. - Aldous Huxley |
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| | #11 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 534
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Stay strong and keep calling when you know he is drinking and driving. I did and it worked. He is furious with me now, but I don't care. With the help from every great person on this board I realized I saved his life and probably some others as well.
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| | #12 (permalink) |
| Recovering Nicely Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 931
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DA said there is nothing they can do to modify the order because there was no proof that he was drinking, it's my word against his, and not that they think I'm being vindictive, but vindictive people do this sometimes. I guess I'll just have to stay strong and keep calling the police each and every time he gets like this. Oh, and the police would need a reason to pull him over, they cannot just go on my word. So that's the story in my neck of the woods. Thanks for all your support, and I'll keep you posted.
__________________ Maybe it's not about always trying to fix something that is broken ... Maybe it's about starting over and creating something better! Action may not bring about happiness, but there is no happiness without action! |
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| | #14 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 534
| Quote:
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| | #15 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 11,833
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QT, I'm glad you're doing what's right for you! Prayers going out for you and your children. Stay strong.
__________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!" |
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| | #17 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Hesperia
Posts: 3
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My 23-year-old AS and his friend got pulled over for running a stop sign and the cop noticed he was drunk. So, the cop calls me and said if I come and drive him and his friend (who is blind by the way) home, he'll only cite him for the stop sign violation and not drinking and driving. The cop said he couldn't wait the 10 minutes until I got there, so he left. When I got there, my son saw me and just waved me on to follow him to his friend's house. I was livid both at the cop for not staying there and at my son for having me follow him instead of driving him. I was just as mad at myself for rescuing him. I shouldn't have agreed to pick him up! I am learning! This site has really helped me a great deal. I walked up to the friend's door and asked to speak to his friend's wife, to tell her what happened and that her husband was letting my drunk son chauffeur him around. She just stared at me and didn't say a word. My son's friend says it's his truck, not his wife's, so he can do what he wants. This is their only vehicle and they have kids. Unbelievable.
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