Sometimes it takes a death, to remember your life
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 82
Sometimes it takes a death, to remember your life
For the past couple of months, all I thought of was myself, AH, and how to deal with my new life. God has a way of showing you, it is not all about YOU.
My Dad died July 4th. I have never lost a parent, nor anyone really close to me before, so this was a mind altering experience.
An alcoholic can tie you up inside so much that you forget there is another world. Their problems become yours. Try as you will, those habits we all hope to break are hard and you continue to hope that this person you fell in love with will reappear. Maybe it was just a really awful dream?
My Dad really loved AH. Well, the old AH where he was kind, compassionate and cared about others more than himself. While in the hospital my sister and I were "discussing" AH and his inability to carry out one thing he promised. We have 3 pets and he was going to watch them. For whatever reason, he found an excuse not to do that.
Admist the conversations Dad had with persons not actually in the room, but during this specific conversation with my sister....(she speaking very honestly about AH) my Dad said....very clearly (and until now his speech had been hampered)..."But he had many good qualities".
When I started crying, he turned his head and watched the tears. He had not been aware of anything most of the day.
My Dad has been gone a week today. I talk to him in my heart and soul. I hope he hears me. I think he does as he tells me to be confident things will work themselves out. (Whatever that means)
AH has been gone longer than Dad. But, he has not asked about my father. Oh wait... he did come over for 15 minutes the night Dad was rushed to the ER. That person was a complete stranger, and one who only dwelt on himself. Alcoholism kills so much.
I celebrate my father. He was not the perfect person, nor am I or anyone else I know. But his death has taught me much about an alcoholic that I chose to ignore before.
Hold those close to you whose hearts you share. Know that this disease kills those you used to share your hopes and dreams with. Live. Breathe. Accept. It's all about you now. And for those you do care about:
No one really dies, as long as someone is left to remember.
Miss you Dad!
My Dad died July 4th. I have never lost a parent, nor anyone really close to me before, so this was a mind altering experience.
An alcoholic can tie you up inside so much that you forget there is another world. Their problems become yours. Try as you will, those habits we all hope to break are hard and you continue to hope that this person you fell in love with will reappear. Maybe it was just a really awful dream?
My Dad really loved AH. Well, the old AH where he was kind, compassionate and cared about others more than himself. While in the hospital my sister and I were "discussing" AH and his inability to carry out one thing he promised. We have 3 pets and he was going to watch them. For whatever reason, he found an excuse not to do that.
Admist the conversations Dad had with persons not actually in the room, but during this specific conversation with my sister....(she speaking very honestly about AH) my Dad said....very clearly (and until now his speech had been hampered)..."But he had many good qualities".
When I started crying, he turned his head and watched the tears. He had not been aware of anything most of the day.
My Dad has been gone a week today. I talk to him in my heart and soul. I hope he hears me. I think he does as he tells me to be confident things will work themselves out. (Whatever that means)
AH has been gone longer than Dad. But, he has not asked about my father. Oh wait... he did come over for 15 minutes the night Dad was rushed to the ER. That person was a complete stranger, and one who only dwelt on himself. Alcoholism kills so much.
I celebrate my father. He was not the perfect person, nor am I or anyone else I know. But his death has taught me much about an alcoholic that I chose to ignore before.
Hold those close to you whose hearts you share. Know that this disease kills those you used to share your hopes and dreams with. Live. Breathe. Accept. It's all about you now. And for those you do care about:
No one really dies, as long as someone is left to remember.
Miss you Dad!
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. I am scared to death of when this will happen to me. I am so sorry your AH is not there for you as I'm sure he promised he would be. I hope you are doing OK. My heart, thoughts, and prayers are with you. (((hugs)))
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: minnesota
Posts: 272
i am so very sorry that you have lost your dad. i lost my dad 8 years ago this summer. he was 88 and a recovering alcoholic - 33 years. he was my go-to-guy when i had a problem or needed help. i am glad you got to be with your dad when he died and that you got to be close to him at the end, that must bring some comfort to you. i like when you said that he lets you know that everything will be OK...cuz it will. God bless you and your family. Your dad raised a good daughter!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: near by
Posts: 151
So sorry for your loss and pain. It makes me realize how very lucky I am, and that I need to think about the wonderful parents I am still fortunate to have in my life. Thank you for being strong enough to post your story.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 82
So many thanks to those that have sent me hugs, prayers and love. I am not usually a public person with my own feelings, but am realizing that unless you share, you cannot heal. While the tears I have in my eyes now are of sadness cause Dad is gone, your kind words are a much needed Kleenex! Thank you!
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