Does anyone else feel this way?

[veryrestless722]

Originally Posted by bookwyrm

I feel pity for him and the women he will truly screw up/over

i wouldnt feel pity for either of them. She will get whats coming to her also. Dating a married man is as low as a woman can get. I have absolutely no respect for a woman who would date a married man. Does trash like that actually think they wont do it to them, that they are so special that he wont cheat on them too.

When my AH ran off for 5 1/2 months in '06, i almost felt sorry for the girl he was with cause he had bought her an engagment ring, talked about having a baby, yada yada yada, then he came back to me (yes i was stupid and took it back) she tried like hell to get him back, called constantly, even had her other kids call trying to get him to call her back, she even tried telling him she was pregnant, even tried after "9 months" sent his mom a picture of a baby and tried to tell his mom it was hers, for one her tubes were tied and yes i know its still possible to get pregnant but in this case i dont believe it, i didnt believe it then and still dont, but the kicker was his mom wanted him with me and never told him about the girl sending the picture of her so called baby, i only found out that when he left this time, she was just pathetic in trying to get him back, but i simply cant feel sorry for someone she knew he was married when she got with him, and i told her that on the phone once, what did you expect, you dont date married men, it always bites you on the a** , im sure she was really hurt by him but she brought it on herself

and when things fall apart with the one this time, i wont take him back ,and she best not come to me crying like the other one , its her own fault, and this one can keep him , i dont want to deal with him anymore

[bookwyrm]

Well, having lived with him for so long, I know what she's letting herself in for and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy!! I hope she gets out before he starts eroding her self esteem and lays on the manipulation. Hah, who am I kidding, he does this automatically! Such a control freak.

I hold my AH more responsible for it than her - she doesn't know me, has never met me, I'm just a background figure, while he supposedly loves me! He betrayed me, not her! My AH can be funny and charming and who knows what he has said to her. His is a master at making himself out to be the victim in every situation.

I think I've come a long way so quickly - I've moved on from wondering why I couldn't be 'everything' for my AH, why I couldn't make him sober/happy etc to realising that we are not good for each other and I need to put the focus firmly on me. I'm moving towards being indifferent to him. It hasn't been easy but I can change me! I want to be happy!

veryrestless, I hope you too will make it through your anger and pain. I used my anger in the early days to keep the focus on me and it helped me take the baby steps to get to where I am now. It does get better, honest!

[veryrestless722]

thanks bookworm, i guess everything is still just fresh for me but im getting better every day, i think im more in the acceptance phase, still hurts but what can i do it is what it is, anytime i start getting mad or sad about it, i think about my son who will be born shortly and i realize what i truly do have in my life, i would rather have my son than my AH, im making it because i know ill have bad days but i embrace my good days and i know its a long process, but ive already come a very long way

oh and i get that hes responsible for what he did, but to me it says alot about a womans character to date a married man, i just couldnt do it, the thought of hurting some other woman like that is something i couldnt do, guess i was raised diffferntly

[chrisea]

the woman after me (thank you, for taking him)... learned within months (regret it took me 2 yrs). Getting sober & living a great life - highly unlikely, most likely he is getting his share of what he brings to himself. So hope he gets old. mostly I could care less.


if we are lucky enough to find someone to share the journey of life with us. For the younger on this site, I hope you find him (look for a giver) someone who cares for you as much as he cares for himself.

[HopeandPrayer]

To tell you the truth, I still have these moments and its been 17 years.

But mostly I just let his current wife deal with him. The only contact I have with him is when our sons ask me to talk to him when they can't, and usually that is when these moments happen. Then I realize I don't live with him and can hang up on him if I want to..
Barb

[baileyboop]

I honestly harbor no anger or resentments for my X at this time. I do still have sadness from time to time..but I think that is natural.