LucyA

It's been a whole year on the 30th since Joes mum died and my brothers addiction was revealed to the rest of us.
For those of you who don't know me, Joe is my 11 year old nephew and his Dad is my Abrother, Joe's been living with me since April this year.

For those who do know me, well, Joe is doing fine, in fact we're all doing great really. Joe's asked me if he can stay with us for good, which made me a little sad to be honest, made me think he's realised his Dad isn't going to 'be there' for him, but also made me happy that he feels safe enough with us to ask that question.

I've started things with a solicitor about getting a residence order for Joe, my brother has had letters but hasn't responded to them, so I think it might be pretty much straightforward in that department, especially now Joe has expressed his own wishes about where he wants to live.

It's the school holidays here now, six weeks of mayhem! I was off on leave last week and got thinking about looking after me, so I've got the next two weeks off work too now.



We're all going out to buy a bush or something tomorrow, to plant for Joes mum, we don't have any other memorial or anything to remember her by, except for photos, because her sister and my brother wont decide what to do with her ashes. So I was talking to Joe today and we decided to try to find something that flowers in October for her birthday, and to buy a nice pot to plant it in as were thinking about moving house so we want to be able to take it with us.

I just wanted to share with you all, I wouldn't be so far on with Joe if it wasnt for you. Thanks.

Astro

Joe is very blessed to have someone like you to care for him. Sounds like a miracle of your recovery?

Thanks for sharing this Lucy. Reading it brought happy tears to my eyes, to know that a child wasn't forgotten and left behind, you're there for him since his father has chosen not to be.

Barbara52

Its good to read that you are all doing so well. You are a wonderful person to have stepped in this way. {hugs}

Spiritual Seeker

The flowering potted bush sounds like a fantastic idea.

What a wonderful person & wonderful compassionate aunt you are.

peaceteach

Lucy,

Thanks for letting us in on what's been going on with your family. Joe sounds great, and his chance for a good, healthy, child-focused life is because of you, sweetie. I think the plant sounds just lovely, and just the fact that Joe is able to talk freely about his mom with you and be part of the plant-picking sounds simple, but says volumes to his feelings of being safe with his Auntie Lucy. You take care of YOU too, Lucy.

GiveLove

Oh, Lucy, what a wonderful post. I don't imagine that life with Joe will be forever all happiness and light (he will have, and cause, his trials, as we all do) but I'm so glad he's with you. And it makes me so happy to hear you making such plans together.

Hugs to you all
GL

reader

That did bring tears to my eyes too Astro... Joe is lucky to have such a wonderful Aunt to look after him. I wish u both a happy life together. Hugs to u both.. Congratulations! With Love, Kerry

sadandhopeless

Trees and flowers are a great way to represent a memorial in someones honor. Thank god Joe has someone like you to love him. I wish you all well. Good luck.

LucyA

A bit more of my update. We all went out to buy the plant I mentioned and couldn't find one that wasn't shrivelled up or dried out or half dead, there was just the one little rose bush that looked healthy-ish. Anyway, we bought this little bush, it had a couple of buds on and looked ok. We brought it home complete with nice new pot for it to live in and Joe planted it by himself. The day after we set off for a couple of days in Wales with Joes other Aunt and his Grandma. When we got back on Saturday the rose bush had transforned itself, four gorgeous yellow roses were waiting for us, Joe said he thought his mum had sent one each for us (which if you knew Joe isn't usually the way he thinks, so I found that pretty moving)

Also I mentioned in my other post that Joes mums ashes are still waiting for something to be done with them, my mum and I decided we would just go ahead and sort out a spot in the garden of remembrance at the cemetary, we didnt need the ashes but we would all, especially Joe, have somewhere to go to put flowers and remember Catherine. I mentioned this to Joes other Aunt while we were at her house (she's his mums sister) and now it's all fallen into place and been agreed that Caths ashes are going to be buried there too.

The other, most important thing for me, is that after talking a few times with Joe he's agreed that he needs someone to talk to about his mum and how he feels now. I can talk with him and we can talk about his mum, but I've reached my limit with helping him work through his feelings, I just don't know how to do it. I need to phone the social workers today to sort that out for him.

All in all a good week for us.

JoBloggs

It sounds as if Joe is really lucky to have you! The memorial plant for his mum was a lovely idea and I love what he said about the four roses. In the past, I have planted a tree and a beautiful hibiscus for my mum, and this weekend I started planting a flower bed in a shady corner of my garden where I am going to put a bench in her memory... it's nice to have a place to go and sit and remember...

I wish you happiness in your lives together XX

Lilyflower

Joe sounds as though he has come on leaps and bounds, and it is down to you Lucy. You are remarkable, and Joe is sooooo lucky to have you,

Love Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Impurrfect

(((Lucy)))

Thanks for letting us know how you all are doing. That is really cool about the roses.

Joe is so lucky to have you, and I think you are all blessed for the relationships you have now.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

LucyA

I just had to post and say, there are days, like today, where I love him to bits, but he is a right royal pain in the ass sometimes.

It's not all sunshine and roses, but we'll get there :ghug3