why do I see my qualifier as capable of no wrong?

[dolphy]

I don't understand this and am searching for some insight.

I have always regarded my qualifier as capable of no wrong. I have been so adamant about adjusting my reality to fit this notion that when they first told me they were an alcoholic and going into recovery, I was honestly truly blind sighted and never saw it again. Later, when the same person told me they were now going into recovery for substance abuse, I felt blind sighted again. I was never able to see the effects of alcoholism or substance abuse until after the fact.

I am curious. What made me so willing to be blind? Has anyone else ever gone through something similar to this? Why do we do this?

[GiveLove]

For me, there was something inside that desperately, COMPLETELY needed to believe that "he" was the person I thought he was. I needed to believe in the fantasy I had built of him, in order to feel good about my life, and in life in general.

It was also something my childhood trained me to do - trust my "intuition" rather than the facts staring me in the face. Unfortunately, it turned out that my intuition had rose-colored glasses. I needed to learn to process facts, not just feelings.

Learning to be realistic -- to see what's in front of me, and adjust my beliefs accordingly -- has brought me unseen benefits that I never could have imagined. It is a practice, and the skill doesn't come overnight, but it comes if you want it to.

[sailorjohn]

Originally Posted by dolphy

I am curious. What made me so willing to be blind? Has anyone else ever gone through something similar to this? Why do we do this?

Denial. A human, very common response, a defense mechanism. Don't fault yourself for being human.

[cmc]

Alot of things made me blind to such things. It doesn't matter so much to me now because I can't go back and change the past, but I can work on myself and change how I see things, my attitudes and most importantly- I can change my actions.

I remember one time when a friend told me outright: 'you know...I drink too much.' and I didn't bat an eye. Today I am training myself to listen to those cues and learn from my mistakes.

How I learn to do better is by asking the very questions put forth in this thread, and by seeking out those who understand and have found a better way.

It's nice to meet you dolphy, you are off to a good start by coming here.
Welcome to SR.