need opinions please

[wish he'd quit]

I am supposed to pick up AH's med tonight. Well this is the last refill he has of the drug. I spoke with our family doctor a while ago to make him aware that AH's drinking was out of control and he was making comments about not liking himself and all. Well the family doctor said that he would not give him any more refills until he went and saw a counselor once. He did do that and that is where this last refill is comming from. But he refuses to go back and see the counselor. He doesnt know that I have already talked to our dr once already but he says that he will go back and see him for a refill. I am wondering if I should say something to him about AH not going back to see another counselor. I told AH already that he wont do it. I know that I am not his keeper but I hate to see him try to manipulate other people. Or if I should call and say something to the counselor. This may all blow up very soon anyways when he finds out I want a divorce.

[Barbara52]

You are not responsible for your AH's choices, actions, lack of actions, manipulation of you or others, etc. Nor are you responsible for the doc's choice to prescribe or not to prescribe.

He's a big boy. Let him take care of himself. By calling the doc and all the rest you are sending the message that AH is not an adult capable of taking care of himself or making his own decisions.

[wish he'd quit]

You are right. Thanks for the kick in the butt!

[anvilhead]

why are you picking up his meds? especially meds that you have strong reservations about him taking while drinking? how about stopping all manners of enabling right now, today? let him do whatever it is he's gonna do, but do not participate in any way...........?? let him make his own decisions, act as he sees fit, AND deal with the consequences of those decisions....

[wish he'd quit]

Originally Posted by anvilhead

why are you picking up his meds? especially meds that you have strong reservations about him taking while drinking? how about stopping all manners of enabling right now, today? let him do whatever it is he's gonna do, but do not participate in any way...........?? let him make his own decisions, act as he sees fit, AND deal with the consequences of those decisions....

Normally I get his meds because the pharmacy is closed when he gets off work. If it is one of his other meds I usually do make him pick it up himself because he can get it over the counter. I am definitely working on stopping all the enabling. I have quit buying his beer, nor will I run to the store after he runs out or is close to it. I love using Keeping My Joy's line " I will no longer enable you to treat me bad." Or fill in the blank with what ever behavior. She posted something about it when I first joined the board and it has stuck with me.