Think I may have a roommate - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

DESIGNER · 02-09-2008, 03:29 PM

I am kind of excited. I made a phone call to my mom and dads old neighbor and they have a daughter who I might be able to live with!! She is my age and a really sweet girl(used to be childhood friends). I talked with her dad and he said that possibly she may do that and that he would give her my phone #. Keep your fingers crossed....if she says no than I will have to get a small efficiecy apartment and make ends meet somehow.

I know this though I am kind of excited about having my own relaxing place again and starting fresh.

If abf wants the help I will be there for him but untill he has made a lifestyle change I will not be going near him!!! NO CONTACT.

I honestly think that if I can get my own place than I will be able to move on so much easier....can't wait.

peaceteach · 02-09-2008, 03:34 PM

Good for you, Sweetie. Keep plowing ahead with these thoughts that are focused on what is best for YOU today. It's the right path, I believe. Your gut instinct is telling you that by giving you a little "lift" of hope in your heart.

denny57 · 02-09-2008, 03:44 PM

Yay!

anvilhead · 02-09-2008, 03:45 PM

See? all we gotta do is stay open to the possibilities! way to go

SerenitySeaker · 02-09-2008, 03:47 PM

When one door closes, God opens a window.

This could be your Golden Opportunity, good luck!

Growing · 02-09-2008, 04:22 PM

Good for you Designer!

DMPA · 02-11-2008, 08:13 AM

i'm so excited for you! i just moved into my "own" place and it's been "fabulous"! congrats!

DESIGNER · 02-11-2008, 11:59 PM

Well just a little update. i don't have a roommate. She cannot afford to be on her own right now. Looks like I am back to square 1. I wish that I could just get my own place but 1 bedroom apartments are not cheap where I live.

Abf has it easy though.....of course 2nd time moving out and he has a friend to live with. Why is it always seem like everything falls into place for him? His friend he is living with is also offering to pay for the abf to go back to school. Wow is that not enabling!!! He says that he is wanting to pay for his school because he really wants him to apply himself.

My first suggestion to his friend would be to stop calling him to go out all night and drink......knowing what I have been through and knowing that he has a drinking problem. Does he not get it?

Oh well I guess it is not my problem anymore.........his friend will find out soon enough about him.......his other roommate did.

denny57 · 02-12-2008, 08:28 AM

Try to think of it as square three. Not easy, but it might help. Are there studio apartments available? Anyone in your area that rents out rooms in a nice big house? Is it possible to widen your options? Would you consider downsizing considerably for 6 months to save the money for something bigger? Have you made a list of all possible avenues?

Good luck - I believe everything will work out for you.

SerenitySeaker · 02-12-2008, 09:14 AM

Why is it always seem like everything falls into place for him?

Designer,
I have always said that my husbands "bread always falls jam side up" and I can never understand it. However, when I look at his life and the kind of man he truly is I know even though it may seem like he gets all the brakes, he does not.

My husband is 46 years old, his kids won't have anything to do with him, his family barely knows him, his wife is walking out the door, he is miserable at work, he thinks his heart can be filled with highs from sex, drugs, and expensive material items. These are all consequences of deliberate choices he has made in his adult life. The reality is not only does his bread not fall jam side up, his whole sandwich is moldy.

I feel sad for him because I love him and wish he loved himself, but in the end I have to be away from him because when I'm with him, I don't love me.

DESIGNER · 02-12-2008, 10:37 PM

Another update.....feeling better tonight. I found a studio apartment. It has all the things that I will need to survive(dishwasher-ha, washer/dryer hookups, bathroom, closet,deck,fireplace even!!) the only thing that it is missing is a seperate bedroom-oh well My bed will be my couch for a while.

Ok so feel better and actually excited. I did some number crunching tonight and boy it will be tight....may be not have a lot of food in my apartment and will be eating roman noodles but hey at least I will be skinnier!!!!!

I will be ok. Say a prayer for me because I believe that possibly I may be getting a promotion tommorrow at work that I have been waiting for. If that is the case then I will be really ok as far as money is concerned.

Still moving forward.

Shivaya · 02-13-2008, 08:17 PM

Hi Designer,
Just read your posts tonight. Wow! I am so proud of you. Just keep on keepin' on girl! YES! Your own place! Take care of yourself, and I'm sending positive thoughts your way for a promotion tomorrow!

Life is good!

02-09-2008, 03:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
DESIGNER Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Missouri Posts: 236	Think I may have a roommate I am kind of excited. I made a phone call to my mom and dads old neighbor and they have a daughter who I might be able to live with!! She is my age and a really sweet girl(used to be childhood friends). I talked with her dad and he said that possibly she may do that and that he would give her my phone #. Keep your fingers crossed....if she says no than I will have to get a small efficiecy apartment and make ends meet somehow. I know this though I am kind of excited about having my own relaxing place again and starting fresh. If abf wants the help I will be there for him but untill he has made a lifestyle change I will not be going near him!!! NO CONTACT. I honestly think that if I can get my own place than I will be able to move on so much easier....can't wait.

02-09-2008, 03:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
peaceteach Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 1,001	Good for you, Sweetie. Keep plowing ahead with these thoughts that are focused on what is best for YOU today. It's the right path, I believe. Your gut instinct is telling you that by giving you a little "lift" of hope in your heart. __________________ "Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, a loss of power, and a sense of spiritual deadness." - Shakti Gawain

02-09-2008, 03:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
denny57 Free at last Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,913	Yay! __________________ We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. Albert Einstein

02-09-2008, 04:22 PM	#6 (permalink)
Growing Progress Not Perfection Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: "Further up and further in!"---C.S. Lewis Posts: 565 Blog Entries: 3	Good for you Designer! __________________ Take what you like and leave the rest. "I am only just returned to a sense of real wonder about me..."---George Eliot "The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning." The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis Have you read my blog?

02-12-2008, 08:28 AM	#9 (permalink)
denny57 Free at last Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,913	Try to think of it as square three. Not easy, but it might help. Are there studio apartments available? Anyone in your area that rents out rooms in a nice big house? Is it possible to widen your options? Would you consider downsizing considerably for 6 months to save the money for something bigger? Have you made a list of all possible avenues? Good luck - I believe everything will work out for you. __________________ We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. Albert Einstein

02-09-2008, 03:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
anvilhead Honorary Cheesehead Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Western Washington Posts: 7,117	See? all we gotta do is stay open to the possibilities! way to go

02-09-2008, 03:47 PM	#5 (permalink)
SerenitySeaker Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Hampton Roads, VA Posts: 68	When one door closes, God opens a window. This could be your Golden Opportunity, good luck!

02-11-2008, 08:13 AM	#7 (permalink)
DMPA Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: smalltown, MS Posts: 40	i'm so excited for you! i just moved into my "own" place and it's been "fabulous"! congrats!

02-11-2008, 11:59 PM	#8 (permalink)
DESIGNER Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Missouri Posts: 236	Well just a little update. i don't have a roommate. She cannot afford to be on her own right now. Looks like I am back to square 1. I wish that I could just get my own place but 1 bedroom apartments are not cheap where I live. Abf has it easy though.....of course 2nd time moving out and he has a friend to live with. Why is it always seem like everything falls into place for him? His friend he is living with is also offering to pay for the abf to go back to school. Wow is that not enabling!!! He says that he is wanting to pay for his school because he really wants him to apply himself. My first suggestion to his friend would be to stop calling him to go out all night and drink......knowing what I have been through and knowing that he has a drinking problem. Does he not get it? Oh well I guess it is not my problem anymore.........his friend will find out soon enough about him.......his other roommate did.

02-12-2008, 09:14 AM	#10 (permalink)
SerenitySeaker Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Hampton Roads, VA Posts: 68	Why is it always seem like everything falls into place for him? Designer, I have always said that my husbands "bread always falls jam side up" and I can never understand it. However, when I look at his life and the kind of man he truly is I know even though it may seem like he gets all the brakes, he does not. My husband is 46 years old, his kids won't have anything to do with him, his family barely knows him, his wife is walking out the door, he is miserable at work, he thinks his heart can be filled with highs from sex, drugs, and expensive material items. These are all consequences of deliberate choices he has made in his adult life. The reality is not only does his bread not fall jam side up, his whole sandwich is moldy. I feel sad for him because I love him and wish he loved himself, but in the end I have to be away from him because when I'm with him, I don't love me.

02-12-2008, 10:37 PM	#11 (permalink)
DESIGNER Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Missouri Posts: 236	Another update.....feeling better tonight. I found a studio apartment. It has all the things that I will need to survive(dishwasher-ha, washer/dryer hookups, bathroom, closet,deck,fireplace even!!) the only thing that it is missing is a seperate bedroom-oh well My bed will be my couch for a while. Ok so feel better and actually excited. I did some number crunching tonight and boy it will be tight....may be not have a lot of food in my apartment and will be eating roman noodles but hey at least I will be skinnier!!!!! I will be ok. Say a prayer for me because I believe that possibly I may be getting a promotion tommorrow at work that I have been waiting for. If that is the case then I will be really ok as far as money is concerned. Still moving forward.

02-13-2008, 08:17 PM	#12 (permalink)
Shivaya Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: California Posts: 285	Hi Designer, Just read your posts tonight. Wow! I am so proud of you. Just keep on keepin' on girl! YES! Your own place! Take care of yourself, and I'm sending positive thoughts your way for a promotion tomorrow! Life is good!

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