Cost of Rehab?

[KariSue]

I'm new to all this. I have a lot of questions and have asked one on another thread. My next one is what do you do if your loved one (in this case my adult son) needs professional help and has no job or insurance and your resources are limited?

I just typed out my whole situation and then thought "Geez, people don't want to read all this plus it gets so confusing that even I get confused!"
So I deleted it all.

We do still have a chance to buy Cobra from his last job at $400 a month which I think we have to do. It's not a matter of him taking over his own problems (at least temporarily) cause he's had a concussion from an auto accident and is still not right and gets confused. He also was withdrawing at the same time so we don't know how much was the concussion and how much was withdrawal symptoms.

I guess I just have to call around but I'm just worried about it NOW on a Sunday so have heard there are some free places to get help. Or places he can pay back later maybe??? How does that work?

Thanks, KariSue

[geees poncho]

Welcome karisue, try to fnd a place with a sliding scale for payment.
I'm sure their out their. Good Luck
Sunday is one of thei busiest days.

[dgillz]

AA and Salvation Army have free programs. AA does not give you a place to live. Salvation Army sometimes will, but attending a daily AA meeting is usually required as far as I know.

Any sober living house is going to require this as well, but the costs of the house are not insignificant. Also none of these are going to give him medical care, they will just help him to stay sober after he has sobered up.

[Barbara52]

It depends on what sort of treatment you sons needs and wants. If its treatment for the effect of the accident, insurance might be a good idea if he needs rehab therapies for brain damage or physical damage. If you are thinking more along the lines of rehab for addiction, check what the policy may pay for before deciding. Some don't pay much at all.

There is free detox/recovery available. The salvation Army comes to mind. Check with your local health services agencies to find out what is available.

The most important thing about getting your son into addiciton rehab those is his desire to do so. Paying for it, getting him into it won't help at all if he is not wanting it and ready to change. You cannot change him. Only he can do that.

[SaTiT]

There's also NA,
There's also your local health department or mental health.
There's also VOA..

mmm what your son wants and what your son needs are two
different things..

He wants to get high..he needs to get clean.

I walk off my job when I hit bottom...no job = no money or insurance.
VOA was pack and with a waiting list.

NA and AA's doors were open.
My local mental health department help me.
if your son had a job. State disabilty takes money from his check
My doctor deem it was best that i focus on my recovery for at least
one year...no job..that's where i was getting drunk and high all the time,
at work with the boys. roughly about 40% of my quarterly income or whatever
they took out. I got $1800 a month from my state disability insurance.

All of the VOA people gets vaned into there anyway.
A couple times a week the VOA people gets vaned into AA or NA anyway.

I just had to earn my recovery.
I don't know..it has meaning and vaule to me,
But it was simple and direct..i either wanted it and was going to do it
or i wasn't.

My mother ..bless her heart.
I slept in my car for almost a month.
Then I graduated to the side of her house
Then I graduated to her patio
Then i graduated to her den's floor.
Then I graduated to to my own apartment.

[cmc]

Welcome to SR. I am a mom of a recoverying addict. He used off and on for over 10 years. He has been clean since May 2006. I'll share some of my ESH with you. (experience, strength & hope)

What SaTit said here gives a very good example of how recovery really works, and is what was required before my son became ready to stop using and find _his own_ recovery.

I just had to earn my recovery.
I don't know..it has meaning and vaule to me,
But it was simple and direct..i either wanted it and was going to do it
or i wasn't.

My mother ..bless her heart.
I slept in my car for almost a month.
Then I graduated to the side of her house
Then I graduated to her patio
Then i graduated to her den's floor.
Then I graduated to to my own apartment.

If I had it to do over now, I would not have paid or even arranged for my son's original rehab experience. It was a 28 day program and very expensive even with insurance paying a portion of the costs. He was 18 and had committed a minor crime related to his drug use. He modified his use for awhile and then continued on the downward path. We did what we thought was best at the time and gradually through the years of living with the situation grew to learn a better way. I am not against these programs but just sharing how it was for our family.

I will not pay for his recovery anymore. I learned in Alanon to let him take charge of his own life. I am involved and do support him when I can and when it is appropriate for me to do so. We spent a small fortune trying to help somebody who didn't really want to change. It made me feel better to help him. The constant rescuing just prolonged his destructive lifestyle. It took a bit of time for his dad and I to realize that we were not helping our son by paying for things and taking care of his 'stuff' for him.

Going to open NA and AA meetings also helped me to realize, like SaTit explained, that I needed to stay out if my son's recovery for #1. myself and #2. for him.
In Alanon I learned about the 3 C's of alcoholism:
I did not Cause it
I cannot Control it
I cannot Cure it
and #4 is I can Contribute (in the minus or plus areas)

Going to Alanon taught so much and I don't know what would have become of myself, my family and my son had I not become a regular attendee in my home group.

I realize you have asked about how to pay for rehab, not whether to place him in one or not. My experience has been that the program did not matter. He did learn valuable information there but until the willingness to actually find recovery was there- things got worse.

Another option is a halfway house. My son completed several 'stays' in two of them. These are public or private facilities where the addict lives and often is required to maintain a job outside or within the facility. I have found some near me where they are required _not_ to work for a short while and payments are adjusted after that initial period to pay for their stay.

What works? Whatever my son decided to do was always best for him in the long run, even when those decisions were poor choices. Ultimately those choices landed him in jail, for about a year the second time and one month the first time. He finally became serious. He had finally had enough and that is what it took to bring true lasting change. I don't take any credit for his recovery but I must add that it was shortly after we took on a 'hands off' approach that he did find his way.

There are plenty of people who find recovery by going to meetings, working a program and or entering rehabs, halfway houses, just as many find it by ending up in hospitals and jail.

[CBrown]

All above makes sense. If the desire is there, it will happen. People embrace recovery whether they're in the Salvation Army's free program, or at a pricey Hazeldon clinic.

My own food addiction is the same. When I'm ready to lose, I lose. It doesn't matter whether I go to Weight Watchers, Curves or do it on my own. Only I can do it.

In your son's case, he may not be able to do it all on his own because of his physical injuries. That's a tough situation, and I wish him well.

Prayers and best wishes for you and your son!!

[Kindeyes]

KariSue
So much of what CMC had to say made so much sense. It may not make much sense to you right now but truly.......it is an important step toward sanity. I can remember when my son was really tanking out and the hands off approach wouldn't have worked for me. I felt that I had to do something.....anything......one last effort to help him. We did an intervention and he went to rehab. The program he went to cost us $8,500 (28 days)....even though he still had insurance from the last company he worked for...the insurance company refused to pay for it. I am still trying to get the money but they are notorious (Cigna) for refusing claims.

The suggestions that many had regarding sliding scale, low cost, or free programs is a great idea and would definitely be worth looking into.

Quite honestly, I got as much (or more) out of my son's treatment center as he did. I learned the things that CMC mentioned. Allowing my adult son to be responsible for himself (and for me.....that was really hard!). At the treatment center they told me that when he left, he would have all of the information and knowledge that he needed to stop drinking and drugging. The rest was up to him. The assistance I received from the treatment center is available to you at no cost through Alanon.

I know my son is struggling with his addiction. I know that he has had relapses but I also know in my heart that it is his life and I cannot control him or his decisions. I feel comfort knowing that I did what I felt I needed to do to come to the point that I could get healthy. And it feels REALLY REALLY good!

gentle hugs to you

[KariSue]

Hi Kindeyes,

You said something that rang true to me. I'm at the point where you said you were. I have to try something...one last effort...to help him. I like how you put that. That is how I feel right now.

We have kind of been here before. When he was a teen he was arrested for having marijuana 3 different times. We did the bailing him out of jail, paying for a lawyer, having him on house arrest with an ankle bracelet, etc. Plus he went to court ordered drug treatment. We thought that was all in the past. Surprise, it happened again! Now he is 26, married and has 2 young children. Up to just recently he was doing fine. But he's been under a lot of stress and turned to that stuff again.

We did tell him that if he is arrrested that we will not bail him out, will not hire a lawyer and he will be on his own. Right now it's a wait and see thing. He doesn't want to do rehab as he says all they do is tell you that you are an addict and he already knows that....blah, blah, blah. He 'says' he can stop himself and he seems determined to prove it to me. I told him I can't believe anything he says but I hope it's true and wish him luck. My mother-in-law was an alcoholic who quit cold turkey one day, even continued to be a bar maid after she quit and still didn't drink. I guess it CAN be done but I'm not holding my breath. It's one of those situations like I hope it's true but I want to see by actions not words that he is sincere.

I do find it helpful to read here at this forum.

I am happy for you that you are at the point that you are at. I know that HE has to do this but I just have to live with myself that I've at least made a reasonable effort. I 'think' I'm being reasonable and not enabling him but it's kind of a jumble at the moment.

KariSue

P.S. These smilies are cute. Here is how I feel about my son at the moment haha

[KariSue]

Hi cmc,

I hear what you are saying. I think since I've just been hit with the reality...again...as you'll understand if you read my response to Kindeyes, that I just have a bunch of general questions. I wondered if there ARE any free resources.

The day I wrote my post it was bad but the last 2 days have been good with him. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

I know you're exactly right. I don't think I'm in denial and luckily our family is generally on the same page.

I hope you get this message. I am having some trouble getting used to this forum. I don't see a Post Reply after each person's post. It will just take me awhile to figure out how to use this forum.

I can read though and thank everyone for their kind responses! They help a LOT.

KariSue

[DesertEyes]

Hello there KariSue, and pleased to "meet" you.

Originally Posted by KariSue

.... I wondered if there ARE any free resources....

Yes there are, and they are usually very good. The biggest ones are the Salvation Army and the Catholic Charities. They should be in your phone book. Give them a call and see if you can get an apointment with an intake counselor. They will know of additional resources in your community.

The biggest one of all is Alcholics Anonymous, and they are also in your phone book. Your son can call them directly.

Al-anon is an excellent free resource for you. Give them a call and they can help direct you to other resources available in your community.

I'm glad you decided to join us, and welcome

Mike

[KariSue]

Thank you for the information and the welcome Mike!

That's the info I am looking for at the moment but I really like everyone's input also. It all helps.

KariSue