FireSprite

Stopped checking the spam folder. Seriously though, why check? It's doing it's job of preventing you from knowing about their attempts to contact you. Ignore, ignore, ignore is the only thing that works for me when I am fully NC.

Eauchiche

Thank you, fire.
I knew even looking there was a mistake. I won't look down inside an outhouse either. Thanks again!!!

dandylion

Eauchiche......good decision making on the outhouse thing.

side story: When I was a child I lived in an area where outhouses were not uncommon. Also, copperhead snakes were common (poisonous), as well as blacksnakes (non poison). One had to be on guard for them at all times.
I developed a fear of a snake being on the underside of the seat in an outhouse.
I still have a ritual of extensive checking with the help of a flashlight before nervously using an outhouse!

Eauchiche....thanks for the memories.....

dandylion

dandylion

In the part of the article labeled "The wife Stands Alone".......
I note that it says that it may take two or three years of program work before the wife (spouse) can change enough to make changes in her/his role in the family......

It is pointed out that many wives drop out in a shorter time if they do not experience change before then.....

I also notice that they imply that changes in the non-alcoholic spouse MAY lead to changes in the drinking pattern of the alcoholic.
I think MAY is the key word in the sentence.......
It sure does not imply that it WILL.....

I can't help but think that this may not be welcome information for some people who come saying "I am overwhelmed and I can't go on living like this".

LOL....I am not trying to start a fight.....just thinking out loud about how this must feel like for those who are reading the material for the first time.......

dandylion

bree528

I really needed this thread today. I am like dandylion said, "overwhelmed and can't take living this way anymore." I want to get off the merry-go-round but don't know how to. I am exhausted from dealing with his alcohol problem. I don't see how things will ever change because my AH always drinks with his brothers every single weekend. I used to look forward to weekends and now I just dread them. And I have been made to feel like I'm the problem because I'm the only one "making waves" in the family. Everyone else just turns a blind eye to it but I just can't do this anymore. How does he stand a chance of getting sober when his whole family drinks? Its not like i can expect him not to hang out with his family. I feel so alone in this. I feel like it's me against his entire family.

LexieCat

Is there a reason to READ what lands in your spam folder? You can set up an email rule to automatically delete anything from particular senders.

dandylion

bree528.....may I give you a suggestion...?
Why not start a completely new thread with what you just presented.....
because I think you will probably get a lot more traffic and a lot more responses, that way.
Just repeat what you, basically, just said.....

Often, the forum less busy on the weekends, but will always pick up when the new week starts....
see you around!!!

dandylion

bree528

Thanks dandylion..I will do that.

Eauchiche

Hi Lexie!
I took your scathingly brilliant idea, and found the equivalent of the flush handle in the spam folder. Now those e-mails are somewhere down in hell, where they belong.

Bekindalways

Flush handle . . . too funny E!! I know this all must hurt like all holy hell but it helps to have a sense of humor and the ability to paint appropriate metaphors.

561228

This is a brilliant piece of work which gives so much insight in real terms, no nonsense. Straight to the point. Excellent. this is what led me here (I am married to an alcoholic).