Do You Want to be a Victim or Victorious?

[FormerDoormat]

When we allow our loved ones to lie to us, we become victims.
When we allow our loved ones to cheat on us, we become victims.
When we allow our loved ones to come home in drunken stupors, we become victims.
When we allow our loved ones to abuse us verbally, emotionally, or physically, we become victims.
When we get angry at the other woman for the troubles that exist in our relationships, we become victims.
When we stay for the sake of the children, we become victims.
When we stay for financial reasons, we become victims.
When we stay because we're afraid of change, we become victims.
When we assume the responsibilities of others, we become victims.
When we blame our loved ones for our troubles or unhappiness, we become victims.
When we focus obsessively on what our loved ones are doing, we become victims.
When we spend our time rescuing others, we become victims.
When we believe we have no choice, we become victims.

Instead of asking if your loved one is an alcoholic, ask yourself this: Do I want to be a victim or do I want to be victorious?

Victims stop being victims the moment they recognize their power to choose. Choose wisely, my friends.

[chero]

I like this FD! I was thinking about Minnie's quote that she has for her signature(borrowing it Minnie!)

It says, "Don't make someone your priority when all you are to them is an option"

I think it goes along with this!

[embraced2000]

thanks for sharing this......i could spot myself in many of your examples of victims in not only my marriage to my xh, but in relationships with others in my life.i

i question myself all the time about why i chose to stay a victim and what led me to that path. that is where my work truly begun on myself. when i started looking at myself under the microscope instead of others, i saw many things that were hard to see.

thanks again for sharing.....very timely post for me with the struggle i'm having with my mothers desire for independance and my need to direct her life.

[Barbara52]

Thanks for those words FD!

I have learned so much and grown so much over the past few months. I refuse to ever be a victim again.

[denny57]

Yep. What FD said.

[MsGolightly]

wow, all but 2 of those situations described me to a T.

it didn't happen overnight, but i gradually learned that being a victim got me nowhere. i was knocked down, dragged around, and stepped on, and thought that was okay.

with the help of all of you, i've learned that being victorious, strong, and ambitious is what gets you places. fd, thanks for reminding me of how i used to be and how i no longer want to be.

[Rella927]

FD

Do You Want to be a Victim or Victorious?

Victorious all the way!